Cant sleep
More accurately, I'm unwilling to sleep. There's so many better things to do than sleep.
Like surf the net. Or mod a tachikoma into vice city and cruise around ramming cars. Or watch the electric storm that refuses to put out some actual water. Or hell, update this thing.
The passage of time is incomprehensible. Or , again more accurately, my own passing of time is mysterious to me. How do i manage to spend so much time sitting around, not getting bored, but not accomplishing anything either? I'm inclined, like all clever modern critics, to blame my culture. Its this era's fault there's so much to do while doing nothing. I dont even watch tv... media proliferates such that one can studiously avoid the primary delivery methods for mass-opiates, and still get caught by them.
Pointless, circular jabber. But it burns the time. I actually did get stuff done today, it just doesnt seem like it. Wrote another essay for the class; those things really do fall together in a hurry if i can just focus on them, resist the temptation to start up something that takes less effort.
I have to actually fight that every once in awhile, these days. Used to be, the reason i didnt do something creative was because i enjoyed the 'lazier' stuff more. But now, theres a lesser voice in my head chiming in "Its less work, you can just sit back and vegetate instead of racking your brain". Its an insidious little bastard.
I'm formulating a theory of personality that revolves around the voices in a person's head. It works, when i think about it, disturbingly like a dungeons and dragons scheme *rueful laugh* Theres greater voices, which are the influential ones, and then lesser ones, which arent as important, and then little ones, which you almost never consciously 'hear'. Yeah, its pretty pointless, just an excuse to write about voices. I think its a cool word to stick with other ones to get image metaphors.
I also think that, no matter what you do, some things in life just cant help but suck. Such as decisions concerning friends. Signed into the lease now, dont want to back out, but it still short circuits things with some people i really like hanging out with, and wont be able to. *sigh*
(Thats as close as i'll come to speaking my mind. Who knows what creepy brain spelunking organizations check this thing?)
I think i should write here more often, though, writing less per entry. Who wants to read a long, verbose entry like this one? The public demands snippets and briefs. I cant keep myself on a single topic for more than a paragraph, anyway. Look at this monster so far. Three ideas per sentence, and not a one of them worth the bandwith livejournal ladles out.
I reeeaaaally should quit analyzing and get to bed. Raining now. I'll take it as an omen of some sort.
Like surf the net. Or mod a tachikoma into vice city and cruise around ramming cars. Or watch the electric storm that refuses to put out some actual water. Or hell, update this thing.
The passage of time is incomprehensible. Or , again more accurately, my own passing of time is mysterious to me. How do i manage to spend so much time sitting around, not getting bored, but not accomplishing anything either? I'm inclined, like all clever modern critics, to blame my culture. Its this era's fault there's so much to do while doing nothing. I dont even watch tv... media proliferates such that one can studiously avoid the primary delivery methods for mass-opiates, and still get caught by them.
Pointless, circular jabber. But it burns the time. I actually did get stuff done today, it just doesnt seem like it. Wrote another essay for the class; those things really do fall together in a hurry if i can just focus on them, resist the temptation to start up something that takes less effort.
I have to actually fight that every once in awhile, these days. Used to be, the reason i didnt do something creative was because i enjoyed the 'lazier' stuff more. But now, theres a lesser voice in my head chiming in "Its less work, you can just sit back and vegetate instead of racking your brain". Its an insidious little bastard.
I'm formulating a theory of personality that revolves around the voices in a person's head. It works, when i think about it, disturbingly like a dungeons and dragons scheme *rueful laugh* Theres greater voices, which are the influential ones, and then lesser ones, which arent as important, and then little ones, which you almost never consciously 'hear'. Yeah, its pretty pointless, just an excuse to write about voices. I think its a cool word to stick with other ones to get image metaphors.
I also think that, no matter what you do, some things in life just cant help but suck. Such as decisions concerning friends. Signed into the lease now, dont want to back out, but it still short circuits things with some people i really like hanging out with, and wont be able to. *sigh*
(Thats as close as i'll come to speaking my mind. Who knows what creepy brain spelunking organizations check this thing?)
I think i should write here more often, though, writing less per entry. Who wants to read a long, verbose entry like this one? The public demands snippets and briefs. I cant keep myself on a single topic for more than a paragraph, anyway. Look at this monster so far. Three ideas per sentence, and not a one of them worth the bandwith livejournal ladles out.
I reeeaaaally should quit analyzing and get to bed. Raining now. I'll take it as an omen of some sort.