2023: The Year That Was.
Over the past several years I've made a habit of using New Year's as a time to reflect on, and take stock of, the year just finished. Ideally I would've shared my reflections on 2023 three weeks ago, at the turn of the new year. I've left this idling because it's been a challenge figuring out how to frame it. The challenge has been that my gut reaction to the question, "What was 2023 like?" has been basically Ugh, but when I start to consider specifics to substantiate that overall feeling of disgust, the facts don't support the negativity.
Why, then, the sense of malaise about 2023? That's the million dollar question, as "malaise" describes how many people felt, broadly, throughout the year. So many things, objectively, were good; yet there was such anxiety or over-emphasis on the negatives that it drove widespread overall pessimism.
Given this schism about whether 2023 was a good year or bad, I'm going to title it 2023: The Year That Was.
Travel & Experiences: Positive
As I break it down to understand what was good or bad about 2023, one aspect of 2023 that I should be feeling warm about is travel and experiences. 2023 was a strong year for going places and having fun, especially after the crimp that Coronavirus put on such things in 2020 through parts of 2021 and 2022. The joys seem too quickly fleeting so I remind myself:
2023 was a year of seeing my count of family and friends dwindle. One I lost to cancer. I've written extensively about that over the past year so I won't belabor it here.
A few friends I lost because I fired them from the position of being my friend. It wasn't easy, and they (predictably) blamed me 100% for having to do it, but I decided it was necessary. When people carry on like complete jackasses, when they lie and distort, and when they attack me when I challenge them on their plain untruths, and when all the above is not just a misunderstanding or them having a bad day but is their true character, I don't wish to associate with them anymore. I will not stay silent for the purposes of "keeping the peace". There's nothing worth keeping.
So, I was down a few friends in 2023. On the other side of the ledger, I didn't really make any new friends. Maybe in another 20 years after real friends keep dying I'll wish for lying, offensive jackasses who'll talk to me as long as I don't call out their bullshit.
Finances: Positive (though everyone feels negative)
Money. If there's one aspect of life that's the poster child for malaise in 2023 it's money. By and large people spent the whole year worried about money. For most of the year nearly everybody was predicting an imminent recession. That's a big part of the malaise: people's anticipation of bad times to come was far worse than reality.
That's not to say 2023 was a banner year. It wasn't. There was strong growth in the top few companies in the stock market- the "Magnificent Seven" of Amazon, Apple, Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Netflix, and Nvidia- but the broader market spent most of the year struggling just to stay even. As recently as mid-November the rest of the market was slightly in the red for the year. A December rally brought things up into the black for 2023. Overall my portfolio finished up almost 15% (net of new cash added) for the year.
Why money matters: I watch my portfolio carefully because I aim to retire soon. With no pension (companies had largely done away with those by the time I entered the professional workforce) and not being close to 65 yet (or even 62) it's totally self funded. Even once I'm 65 I'll want plenty of self funding since the social safety net in the US is so spotty.
Career: Mostly Negative
I enjoyed a bit of job recognition early in the year when I won nomination to president's club at my company. That provided a fun vacation to the Caribbean but alas not the stepping stone in my career I was looking for. I.e., I've been angling for a substantial increase in job title, to recognize the level of skill and capability I demonstrate, but that didn't come. And with new managers in my department since then I've now actually fallen backward a few steps as the new managers expect me to start over at square one in proving myself.
New management is also frustrating in other ways. I won't elaborate specifics here as I'm keeping this blog open, but let's just say multiple signs are telling me it's past time to leave. That's sad because I've been with this company for over 6 years and have had some good times and done some great work here.
The notion of it being time to find a new job is complicated by the fact I'm looking to retire soon. I really don't want to start a new job just to work it for a short period of time. When I decide I'm done here, am I done-done? As in ready to retire? I've been holding on in this deteriorating job for a few years now, telling myself I'm on a glide path. I've swallowed my frustration at numerous things for a few years, telling myself I've just got to keep gliding a little longer. How much longer now? I'd like to say this is the final year but I'm not sure. Meanwhile the frustrations mount.
Why, then, the sense of malaise about 2023? That's the million dollar question, as "malaise" describes how many people felt, broadly, throughout the year. So many things, objectively, were good; yet there was such anxiety or over-emphasis on the negatives that it drove widespread overall pessimism.
Given this schism about whether 2023 was a good year or bad, I'm going to title it 2023: The Year That Was.
Travel & Experiences: Positive
As I break it down to understand what was good or bad about 2023, one aspect of 2023 that I should be feeling warm about is travel and experiences. 2023 was a strong year for going places and having fun, especially after the crimp that Coronavirus put on such things in 2020 through parts of 2021 and 2022. The joys seem too quickly fleeting so I remind myself:
- How we traveled so much in April and May I felt like I wasn't working anymore. We had not one but two really fun long weekends at waterpark resorts in Phoenix; a great trip of several days in New Orleans and Mississippi; and a most-expenses paid trip to Cayman Islands. Oh, and a few other trips, too, in the span of 9 weeks.
- We did two fantastic week-long trips, including a long-awaited trip to Australia at the end of December.
- We took lots of shorter trips (2-3 days) that were still packed with activity, like that day we hiked 7 or 8 waterfalls in one day. Wait, which day was that; there were two such days!
2023 was a year of seeing my count of family and friends dwindle. One I lost to cancer. I've written extensively about that over the past year so I won't belabor it here.
A few friends I lost because I fired them from the position of being my friend. It wasn't easy, and they (predictably) blamed me 100% for having to do it, but I decided it was necessary. When people carry on like complete jackasses, when they lie and distort, and when they attack me when I challenge them on their plain untruths, and when all the above is not just a misunderstanding or them having a bad day but is their true character, I don't wish to associate with them anymore. I will not stay silent for the purposes of "keeping the peace". There's nothing worth keeping.
So, I was down a few friends in 2023. On the other side of the ledger, I didn't really make any new friends. Maybe in another 20 years after real friends keep dying I'll wish for lying, offensive jackasses who'll talk to me as long as I don't call out their bullshit.
Finances: Positive (though everyone feels negative)
Money. If there's one aspect of life that's the poster child for malaise in 2023 it's money. By and large people spent the whole year worried about money. For most of the year nearly everybody was predicting an imminent recession. That's a big part of the malaise: people's anticipation of bad times to come was far worse than reality.
That's not to say 2023 was a banner year. It wasn't. There was strong growth in the top few companies in the stock market- the "Magnificent Seven" of Amazon, Apple, Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Netflix, and Nvidia- but the broader market spent most of the year struggling just to stay even. As recently as mid-November the rest of the market was slightly in the red for the year. A December rally brought things up into the black for 2023. Overall my portfolio finished up almost 15% (net of new cash added) for the year.
Why money matters: I watch my portfolio carefully because I aim to retire soon. With no pension (companies had largely done away with those by the time I entered the professional workforce) and not being close to 65 yet (or even 62) it's totally self funded. Even once I'm 65 I'll want plenty of self funding since the social safety net in the US is so spotty.
Career: Mostly Negative
I enjoyed a bit of job recognition early in the year when I won nomination to president's club at my company. That provided a fun vacation to the Caribbean but alas not the stepping stone in my career I was looking for. I.e., I've been angling for a substantial increase in job title, to recognize the level of skill and capability I demonstrate, but that didn't come. And with new managers in my department since then I've now actually fallen backward a few steps as the new managers expect me to start over at square one in proving myself.
New management is also frustrating in other ways. I won't elaborate specifics here as I'm keeping this blog open, but let's just say multiple signs are telling me it's past time to leave. That's sad because I've been with this company for over 6 years and have had some good times and done some great work here.
The notion of it being time to find a new job is complicated by the fact I'm looking to retire soon. I really don't want to start a new job just to work it for a short period of time. When I decide I'm done here, am I done-done? As in ready to retire? I've been holding on in this deteriorating job for a few years now, telling myself I'm on a glide path. I've swallowed my frustration at numerous things for a few years, telling myself I've just got to keep gliding a little longer. How much longer now? I'd like to say this is the final year but I'm not sure. Meanwhile the frustrations mount.