Life after Death
For thousands of years humans have wondered about life after death. Most have pondered the wrong question- "What happens to me after I die?" That's kind of selfish, anyway. The real question, the one that matters, is "What happens to my loved ones after I die?" It's the survivors who bear the burden of death.
In that vein we went today to visit our friend D and help him one of the many chores stemming from the death of his husband, Del. It's now almost 4 weeks ago that Del died, and 3 weeks since his memorial service. D is still in the 30 day period of mourning called shloshim that's part of the Jewish traditions following the death of a close family member.
I was glad to see that D is doing better now. He's not "all hunky-dory" yet but he's pulled together better now than he was in the first week after Del's death... or the last few weeks before it.
D is back to work now. He took 1.5 weeks off after his husband's death. That interval is an indication of how torn up he was. Since then returning to work has been part of his healing process. He's been able to focus 100% when he's at work, and he's producing results that his superiors appreciate. That in turn gives him a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that has helped him move on. For quite some time before Del's death D was between jobs. Now he views having this job as the one positive thing to happen to him in the past several months.
The religious observance of shloshim will be over in a few more days. D isn't a very religious person; I figure his ongoing grieving as natural, not religious. Which means it's not going to be like a switch flips on Wednesday and he's like, "Hey, guys, let's party!" That said, we encouraged him today to think about how we can do something fun together, even if for small values of fun like hanging out at the pool with us for a day, in another few weeks.
In that vein we went today to visit our friend D and help him one of the many chores stemming from the death of his husband, Del. It's now almost 4 weeks ago that Del died, and 3 weeks since his memorial service. D is still in the 30 day period of mourning called shloshim that's part of the Jewish traditions following the death of a close family member.
I was glad to see that D is doing better now. He's not "all hunky-dory" yet but he's pulled together better now than he was in the first week after Del's death... or the last few weeks before it.
D is back to work now. He took 1.5 weeks off after his husband's death. That interval is an indication of how torn up he was. Since then returning to work has been part of his healing process. He's been able to focus 100% when he's at work, and he's producing results that his superiors appreciate. That in turn gives him a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that has helped him move on. For quite some time before Del's death D was between jobs. Now he views having this job as the one positive thing to happen to him in the past several months.
The religious observance of shloshim will be over in a few more days. D isn't a very religious person; I figure his ongoing grieving as natural, not religious. Which means it's not going to be like a switch flips on Wednesday and he's like, "Hey, guys, let's party!" That said, we encouraged him today to think about how we can do something fun together, even if for small values of fun like hanging out at the pool with us for a day, in another few weeks.