Thinking Big, Living Small. Trying not to Spiral.
It's been a challenge staying centered the past several weeks. Since we became aware of the surging Omicron cases while we were vacationing in Hawaii in late December, things have been spiraling down. We didn't bail out of the trip and come home early but we did scale down our activities to stay safer. And we canceled our following trip, to spend New Year's with friends in Chicago. Two January businesses trips were canceled a few days later. On top of not traveling outside our home area for work or leisure we drastically cut back on simple pleasures like eating out. We and our friends are even hesitant about having each other over inside the house, and we're all fully vaxxed.
I'm trapped between thinking about "Oh, the places I'll go!" and "Oh, the places I can't go""Spiraling" is a term a lot of people use to describe how they're doing right now. Spiraling down. When we cancel and forego activities it's not just the resulting inactivity we have to contend with but the sad spirits of not being able to do things we expected. Sad spirits, aka depression, makes it harder to want to do things. And more inactivity or thwarted activity creates more depression. It's a negative feedback loop. A downward spiral.
An example of spiraling happened to me two weekends ago. I was bummed about canceled trips and *gestures broadly at everything* the situation in general so I couldn't find the motivation to go out and do even safe things I'd normally do, like hike locally. And because I didn't engage in even simple, pleasurable activities I felt even more bummed. Worse, it's not just ability to enjoy leisure activities that suffers. Motivation at work takes a hit, too. It's a vicious cycle, spiraling down.
One way I try to counteract the downward spiral is looking forward to better times in the future. It's true I cancelled a few trips for December and January, but I can make plans for later. Already I have trips planned in March, April, June, and July. Two are long weekends, two are full weeks; all are exciting. And there will be more to come! I'm "thinking big", I assure myself.
But the reality of the moment is I'm still living small. Those trips are still weeks and months away. Worse, thinking about All The Places I'll Go may well turn into another round of Oh, The Places I Can't Go. There's no guarantee we'll be past the Omicron surge by then- and not into some new, yet-to-be-named surge! Any or all of those trips trips I'm planning right now might need to be canceled. Keeping one's spirits up to avoid the downward spiral is tough.
[This entry was cross-posted from https://canyonwalker.dreamwidth.org/180493.html. Please comment there using OpenID. That's where most of the action is!]
I'm trapped between thinking about "Oh, the places I'll go!" and "Oh, the places I can't go""Spiraling" is a term a lot of people use to describe how they're doing right now. Spiraling down. When we cancel and forego activities it's not just the resulting inactivity we have to contend with but the sad spirits of not being able to do things we expected. Sad spirits, aka depression, makes it harder to want to do things. And more inactivity or thwarted activity creates more depression. It's a negative feedback loop. A downward spiral.
An example of spiraling happened to me two weekends ago. I was bummed about canceled trips and *gestures broadly at everything* the situation in general so I couldn't find the motivation to go out and do even safe things I'd normally do, like hike locally. And because I didn't engage in even simple, pleasurable activities I felt even more bummed. Worse, it's not just ability to enjoy leisure activities that suffers. Motivation at work takes a hit, too. It's a vicious cycle, spiraling down.
One way I try to counteract the downward spiral is looking forward to better times in the future. It's true I cancelled a few trips for December and January, but I can make plans for later. Already I have trips planned in March, April, June, and July. Two are long weekends, two are full weeks; all are exciting. And there will be more to come! I'm "thinking big", I assure myself.
But the reality of the moment is I'm still living small. Those trips are still weeks and months away. Worse, thinking about All The Places I'll Go may well turn into another round of Oh, The Places I Can't Go. There's no guarantee we'll be past the Omicron surge by then- and not into some new, yet-to-be-named surge! Any or all of those trips trips I'm planning right now might need to be canceled. Keeping one's spirits up to avoid the downward spiral is tough.
[This entry was cross-posted from https://canyonwalker.dreamwidth.org/180493.html. Please comment there using OpenID. That's where most of the action is!]