(no subject)

[canusaynewshit]

distractions

amiel

i need my freinds not to leave me alone in this time of unhappiness

i need to be able to cope

to deal

i need to not feel this way after being alone

and driving home and listing to death cab for cutie

and wishing that i wasnt so mean

and weak

and yes

id say i was depressed

and id say yes

id say to those that are leaving id miss everyone of u

and miss the things we experienced and miss

all of the joy

and happiness ive seen or expressed or helped build

i love my freinds

i love our happiness

i love the way i can get mad at jon n

and hell still keep bothering me

or when i tell anna ear muffs and shell get mad

and ill keep going

or kevins social akwardness

or ryans attempt to not let me drive by hearing me almost cry in jon millers kitchen

its

a very lovely thing to have freinds that r so close and unique and

so
so
real
and just supportive

and ill miss u

and want to be near all of u as u go out and do shit

as kevin goes out and about

as maddy has fun in stupid china teaching people who should bow down and graceher for her kindness

vs me who still holds grundges just because she drank some gross stuff at bush gardens

im ranting on the blog

and im tired

and very sad

and will be worse in about 2 weeks

when all my freinds will be too busy to spend time with me

and thats sad

thats very
very
tearful to me

and i miss jasmine

alot

andi hate that shes got some new man

someone whos perhaps better then me in every way

and i hate that she doesnt care how she feels and i hate

that jacki made a post about how shitty she feels and i looked for similarites about how crappy i feel

and im willing to do horrible things to get her back

because im too young to realize i can move on

to say i want her back but cant so just deal
julian just deal

im too mad at her freinds for not telling her to come back to me

im too mad at the fam for not saying things i wanted to hear like her mom did to her

im mad that she wont read this

forabout a week

if ever

im just fucking mad

and angry
annd too much of a pussy to do shit

so fuck this

fuck this
just
fuck
man

this is a horrible

horrible

feeling