(no subject)
I have never felt so abandoned in my life.
Today was a very stressful day today. While everyone else got to sleep in, I woke up early and worked on the video project w/ my english group. School was a bitch because I was thinking the entire day about how stressful the afternoon was going to be with extra stuco work, a tennis match, and the physics, precalc, ap history and english homework I had.
My day got progressively worse because since I have no 6th hour I started my stuco work early - 1:44 and worked untill 3:15. Mellissa Arthur was the only person out of the 5 who told me they would come who actually came. I was frustrated and I wish that I could have just gone home. But I couldn't.
Earlier in the day, one of my best friends told me that I would probably be playing on JV today because east detriot didn't have enough players on varsity. Another of my friends told me the same thing. I went to our varsity tennis captain and asked her. She said that I was probably playing on JV. I asked her if I should show up at 3:00 like the rest of the team. She said yes.
My mom picked me up at 3:15 and I went home. I changed and ate and at 3:45 I was back on the courts to play with JV. When I got there, Annemarie said that Mr. C never said anything about me playing on JV. I was upset. I spend so much of my time working on shit that benifits other people and look what happens. I believe Annemarie. She always looks out for me and is always nice. Here is the thing:
One of my best friends was on the bus to the Varsity match. Our captain was on the bus. Some of my other friends were on the bus. THEY ALL KNEW WHERE I WAS. I feel horrible. I feel like no one in the world wants in me or believes in my. One of my best friends? How could she have done that to me? What if I was planning on going with Varsity and on the way to the courts I got raped or mobed? Why did no one make sure I was ok? Why did no one bother to check? I am currently in a lot of pain because of this. I just can't believe anyone would do this to me. I feel so un-important.
So much for friends, and so much for commitments.