03 - The Milk of Human Kindess (Backdated to 8/17)
[Equius' voice sounds... off. If you've been up to date with current events you can probably guess that he's either been poisoned or swilled down a bottle full of razor blades. In this case it is the latter.]
This is absolutely unforgivable. I wish to state for the record that I am not perspiring in any unusual capacity; I am simply incredibly - [A sudden spate of horse hoarse coughing oh dear so much filthy red blood this is deplorable; infinitely deplorable.] - agaitated.
It is imperative that the reputation of milk as a wholesome and healthy beverage be maintained. The taint exists only in that secreted by your reprehensible "Milk Man". Milk obtained from any other source is perfectly harmless although I suspect that the storebought variety is laced with bovine growth hormone. This will not cause undue issues unless you yourself are bovine in nature in which case you should be capable of producing your own milk.
[The coughing/heaving fits resume, interspersed with the occasional metallic tinkle as a razor blade reveals itself. This seems to be the end of his speech.]
This is absolutely unforgivable. I wish to state for the record that I am not perspiring in any unusual capacity; I am simply incredibly - [A sudden spate of horse hoarse coughing oh dear so much filthy red blood this is deplorable; infinitely deplorable.] - agaitated.
It is imperative that the reputation of milk as a wholesome and healthy beverage be maintained. The taint exists only in that secreted by your reprehensible "Milk Man". Milk obtained from any other source is perfectly harmless although I suspect that the storebought variety is laced with bovine growth hormone. This will not cause undue issues unless you yourself are bovine in nature in which case you should be capable of producing your own milk.
[The coughing/heaving fits resume, interspersed with the occasional metallic tinkle as a razor blade reveals itself. This seems to be the end of his speech.]