life.
I haven't written any serious/interesting/heartfelt/contemplative posts recently, but it's not because nothing is going on.
I've been internalizing a lot of my stress these days, and feel less of a need to talk to people about it or post about it on livejournal. While I'm not entirely sure this is a good thing (especially considering my tendancies to deal with stress via nightmares), it's just how I've been these days. There are of course, other factors contributing to it: less time to write, different priorities, less time spent online, etc.
There have been some interesting things going on.
Example 1: I found out last week that Jim is at it again with Jessica. The cops were called to her apartment because neighbours heard them fighting. When the cops arrived he told them that she had just recieved devastating news about the death of a relative and was mentally ill and off her medication. She had pot in her house and was paranoid about the cops actually coming in, so she went along with it (also out of fear of Jim). What actually happened was she confronted him about naked pics she found of him online (LOL pics of his penis on a penis show off site aimed at men) and he went crazy - started freaking out/manically laughing at her/shoutign at her about how she was raped as a teenager, and threw her kitchen table at her across the apartment.
I got a bit upset and in the last week have been in touch with various poilce agencies, the more interesting bit to note was to attempt to follow up on a fight him and I had back in 2004 - he'd beaten the shit out of me, threatened to kill me, left me with a black eye and bleeding face and threw my cell phone out his car window. I'd ran to a gas station where I had a terrible time dealing with a bitchy dispatch ("You're wasting all our time if you aren't going to press charges"), got scared and left without speaking to the poilce. They later showed up at my house, but at the time Jim was there and I was terrified, so I refused to comment.
Anyways, I spoke with the cop who had been originally called to the scene that night, and he actually remembered it (tracking down my home address, speaking with the gas station attendant) and was sympathetic and agreed that Jim needs to be stopped, and I gave a statement about what happened back then, but he told me it is very unlikely crown counsel will accept it for charges beign that old. Which is fair enough - mostly though, I got something I really needed, a sense of closure that I hadn't recieved to date. It was amazing to speak to a police officer about that who wasn't stigmatizing me or bringing me down or making me feel guilty.
Anyways, this is an ongoing thing and while I know it is not my job to get involved too much at this point, I'm not stretching myself beyond my emotional capabilities and I feel really good about it. The next step is to see if the Vancouver Poilce will take my tip and revisit Jessica to see if she'll give them a new statement about the incident a few weeks ago.
Example 2: My mom has her first court date this morning in regards to the divorce. Last week on Friday, she recieved from my dad's lawyer the document he will be submitting about his current costs of living.
Now keep in mind that they have now been seperated for 17 months. During that time period my dad has been giving my mom $400 a month - for food and expenses. She lives in the house they shared (not by choice), hasn't worked in 25 years, is extremely unhealthy and has no car (and no way to get out of the house when she needs/wants to). He has always maintained that this is justified for the following reasons: a) he is stretched to the limit because he is now paying rent + mortgage, twice the utilities, etc, and b) he pays all of her bills (mortgage, phone, cable etc).
This is bullshit for 2 reasons: 1, if she had moved out and was renting a place, he would not be allowed to sell the house until this was settled so he would be paying the mortgage whether she lived tehre or not. Instead, he'd have to give her cash so she could pay her own rent, utilities etc. Everyone knows the legal standard for alimony support is around 35-50% of income, especially in cases where the wife hasn't worked/is unemployable.
Second: You should see the list he submitted. On top of the mortgage, his rent, the utlities of both of the housholds, he declared he spends the following:
$200 a month on meals outside the home for him
$200 a month on entertainment related expenses for him
$80 a month for Jonathan's allowance
$100 a month for Jonathan for gifts
$100 for Jonathan's entertainment related expenses
$30 a month for Jonathan for haircuts (which is really funny because my brother has grown his hair super long since he moved in with dad)
$100 a month for toilettries/cell phone/etc for Jonathan.
Which adds up to $410 a month cash for Jonathan. When he only gives my mom $400. And when he only gave my mom $200 extra when Jonathan was living with her.
Am I (and my mom) the only people on the planet who can see the obvious bullshit in everythign he says? I know there is no way he gives that much cash to my brother every month because he's told me as much and because my dad is stingy as fuck. He probably never gave me that much money my ENTIRE teenage years, let alone, each month. Also, he knows my bro spends money on pot and booze and would not give away that much cash to him each month. No effing way.
He must be gettign the worst legal advise in the world, because really, if you look at the facts, my father looks like a fool.
...
Other than that, life is good. Yesterday was Miso's birthday! Stephen will be living with me by the end of the month! We have no idea how he's gonna move yet - if one of you fools would like to donate your time/driving ability/vehicle in exchange for a ton of love and perhaps lots of beer or food or both next weekend, let me know.
I've been internalizing a lot of my stress these days, and feel less of a need to talk to people about it or post about it on livejournal. While I'm not entirely sure this is a good thing (especially considering my tendancies to deal with stress via nightmares), it's just how I've been these days. There are of course, other factors contributing to it: less time to write, different priorities, less time spent online, etc.
There have been some interesting things going on.
Example 1: I found out last week that Jim is at it again with Jessica. The cops were called to her apartment because neighbours heard them fighting. When the cops arrived he told them that she had just recieved devastating news about the death of a relative and was mentally ill and off her medication. She had pot in her house and was paranoid about the cops actually coming in, so she went along with it (also out of fear of Jim). What actually happened was she confronted him about naked pics she found of him online (LOL pics of his penis on a penis show off site aimed at men) and he went crazy - started freaking out/manically laughing at her/shoutign at her about how she was raped as a teenager, and threw her kitchen table at her across the apartment.
I got a bit upset and in the last week have been in touch with various poilce agencies, the more interesting bit to note was to attempt to follow up on a fight him and I had back in 2004 - he'd beaten the shit out of me, threatened to kill me, left me with a black eye and bleeding face and threw my cell phone out his car window. I'd ran to a gas station where I had a terrible time dealing with a bitchy dispatch ("You're wasting all our time if you aren't going to press charges"), got scared and left without speaking to the poilce. They later showed up at my house, but at the time Jim was there and I was terrified, so I refused to comment.
Anyways, I spoke with the cop who had been originally called to the scene that night, and he actually remembered it (tracking down my home address, speaking with the gas station attendant) and was sympathetic and agreed that Jim needs to be stopped, and I gave a statement about what happened back then, but he told me it is very unlikely crown counsel will accept it for charges beign that old. Which is fair enough - mostly though, I got something I really needed, a sense of closure that I hadn't recieved to date. It was amazing to speak to a police officer about that who wasn't stigmatizing me or bringing me down or making me feel guilty.
Anyways, this is an ongoing thing and while I know it is not my job to get involved too much at this point, I'm not stretching myself beyond my emotional capabilities and I feel really good about it. The next step is to see if the Vancouver Poilce will take my tip and revisit Jessica to see if she'll give them a new statement about the incident a few weeks ago.
Example 2: My mom has her first court date this morning in regards to the divorce. Last week on Friday, she recieved from my dad's lawyer the document he will be submitting about his current costs of living.
Now keep in mind that they have now been seperated for 17 months. During that time period my dad has been giving my mom $400 a month - for food and expenses. She lives in the house they shared (not by choice), hasn't worked in 25 years, is extremely unhealthy and has no car (and no way to get out of the house when she needs/wants to). He has always maintained that this is justified for the following reasons: a) he is stretched to the limit because he is now paying rent + mortgage, twice the utilities, etc, and b) he pays all of her bills (mortgage, phone, cable etc).
This is bullshit for 2 reasons: 1, if she had moved out and was renting a place, he would not be allowed to sell the house until this was settled so he would be paying the mortgage whether she lived tehre or not. Instead, he'd have to give her cash so she could pay her own rent, utilities etc. Everyone knows the legal standard for alimony support is around 35-50% of income, especially in cases where the wife hasn't worked/is unemployable.
Second: You should see the list he submitted. On top of the mortgage, his rent, the utlities of both of the housholds, he declared he spends the following:
$200 a month on meals outside the home for him
$200 a month on entertainment related expenses for him
$80 a month for Jonathan's allowance
$100 a month for Jonathan for gifts
$100 for Jonathan's entertainment related expenses
$30 a month for Jonathan for haircuts (which is really funny because my brother has grown his hair super long since he moved in with dad)
$100 a month for toilettries/cell phone/etc for Jonathan.
Which adds up to $410 a month cash for Jonathan. When he only gives my mom $400. And when he only gave my mom $200 extra when Jonathan was living with her.
Am I (and my mom) the only people on the planet who can see the obvious bullshit in everythign he says? I know there is no way he gives that much cash to my brother every month because he's told me as much and because my dad is stingy as fuck. He probably never gave me that much money my ENTIRE teenage years, let alone, each month. Also, he knows my bro spends money on pot and booze and would not give away that much cash to him each month. No effing way.
He must be gettign the worst legal advise in the world, because really, if you look at the facts, my father looks like a fool.
...
Other than that, life is good. Yesterday was Miso's birthday! Stephen will be living with me by the end of the month! We have no idea how he's gonna move yet - if one of you fools would like to donate your time/driving ability/vehicle in exchange for a ton of love and perhaps lots of beer or food or both next weekend, let me know.