Valise of Values
A defining moment is an instant so significant that life changes -- in a blink. According to writers of popular culture, sports teams, television shows and politicians can all have defining moments. Dr. Phil even has a quiz to help you identify yours. Yet, the reality is, that a person cannot be defined by a particular incident any more than Moby Dick can be fully understood by reading page 371.
What defines you? A house? A car? An occupation? Talent, abilities, accomplishments? We are defined by what we value. Take inventory of the “suitcase” of valuables you carry with you on your journey. Some stuff was there to start with, kind of like a cosmic travel kit. Talents, intellect, physical attributes like good looks or athleticism; everyone is given a random sampling of the basics. Other valuables are received or attained by us through a series of exchanges. If we value a nice car we will exchange liquid assets to have one. If we value companionship (and regular sex) we will exchange independence for marriage. Ultimately, you define your life by what you decide you will and will not trade out of your valise of values.
A while back a friend was contemplating an out-of-state move for a new job. In talks with the prospective employer benefits and perks were discussed. Some were negotiable, some were not. He told them that time off at Thanksgiving and Christmas to go home was not negotiable. He had realized that if he was going to live that far away from his elderly parents, the time that remained for him to actually be with them was down to days. Time with his mother and father was so important to him that he would not exchange it.
If I say I value my health, every time I drive through the fast food lane, I make an exchange for instant gratification. If I say I value my family and then day after day, week after week, I work from very early to very late, leaving them no good part of me to talk to or interact with, I’ve exchanged the joys of family life for prestige or money or whatever payoff the business world gives me. If I say I value faith and spirituality and do not spend time developing my inner life with quiet reflection and the study of those disciplines, I have traded the eternal for the temporary.
The challenge is this: find the top ten things that I will not trade away. Spend some time actually determining what the non-negotiables are. We all think we know ourselves but without a little purposeful thought, life usually just happens to us and we drift off course. So, I’ll write them down. Put them on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror. And I will let my life be defined by them. I will keep an unfaltering grip on what is important to me and let nothing take it away from me. Whether it is the lure of abundance or the struggle of hardship that tempts me to exchange it for the immediate, I must keep what I value with all diligence. And after awhile, if I find that I have exchanged something I thought I valued, I’ll be honest about it. I’ll reevaluate. And if necessary, make another exchange to get it back. It’s worth it to work at this thing called life.
What defines you? A house? A car? An occupation? Talent, abilities, accomplishments? We are defined by what we value. Take inventory of the “suitcase” of valuables you carry with you on your journey. Some stuff was there to start with, kind of like a cosmic travel kit. Talents, intellect, physical attributes like good looks or athleticism; everyone is given a random sampling of the basics. Other valuables are received or attained by us through a series of exchanges. If we value a nice car we will exchange liquid assets to have one. If we value companionship (and regular sex) we will exchange independence for marriage. Ultimately, you define your life by what you decide you will and will not trade out of your valise of values.
A while back a friend was contemplating an out-of-state move for a new job. In talks with the prospective employer benefits and perks were discussed. Some were negotiable, some were not. He told them that time off at Thanksgiving and Christmas to go home was not negotiable. He had realized that if he was going to live that far away from his elderly parents, the time that remained for him to actually be with them was down to days. Time with his mother and father was so important to him that he would not exchange it.
If I say I value my health, every time I drive through the fast food lane, I make an exchange for instant gratification. If I say I value my family and then day after day, week after week, I work from very early to very late, leaving them no good part of me to talk to or interact with, I’ve exchanged the joys of family life for prestige or money or whatever payoff the business world gives me. If I say I value faith and spirituality and do not spend time developing my inner life with quiet reflection and the study of those disciplines, I have traded the eternal for the temporary.
The challenge is this: find the top ten things that I will not trade away. Spend some time actually determining what the non-negotiables are. We all think we know ourselves but without a little purposeful thought, life usually just happens to us and we drift off course. So, I’ll write them down. Put them on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror. And I will let my life be defined by them. I will keep an unfaltering grip on what is important to me and let nothing take it away from me. Whether it is the lure of abundance or the struggle of hardship that tempts me to exchange it for the immediate, I must keep what I value with all diligence. And after awhile, if I find that I have exchanged something I thought I valued, I’ll be honest about it. I’ll reevaluate. And if necessary, make another exchange to get it back. It’s worth it to work at this thing called life.