(no subject)
Being at Campo put me in touch with myself and the real world. It grounded me in a sphere that was so tangible and new in its scope of people, places, issues and problems, ways of life and perspectives. Every day forced me to directly confront and rethink my future, my principles and values, my worldview, perspective and my impact on others (and others on myself). I actively cared for all the things I was doing, all the issues I was thinking about and discussing, all the people I interacted with and worked with. Every night I went to sleep, spent from putting actual effort and energy into the day, and glad for it. I was challenged, broken down, rebuilt stronger.
I didn’t arrive at any groundbreaking conclusions or sudden epiphanies for my future during the trip. But it helped me to feel sure that I did actually exist; that a more immediate, gripping world existed too outside my direct view, where it lay, waiting for me. This is the world that holds a future for me. Now, sitting here in my room at Berkeley, back to midterms, deadlines, summer plans…I know that this is all a gateway to that world. Getting through this gateway to spend my future interacting with, learning from and perhaps even positively impacting that world is my priority and direction.
Out in Campo, there was clarity. There was room to breathe and think and exist, to be fully there: aware of myself, my thoughts, my presence and being, and how these were changed, molded and nudged into consciousness by this trip. The part of me that woke up and realized all this is what I found out there, and she is who I have taken back with me.
so for spring break, i went with a group of people to the Campo Kumeyaay Indian Reservation, close to San Diego, about 10 minutes from the border. issues very shitty there = i get worldview/exposure. but yeah. it was intense.
railroad behind the education center where we stayed. we hiked up there a lot. you could see mexico from there.
anyway, download the song "Samson", by Regina Spektor. I swear it's good. it's a song for thinking.
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met