That you conscience....
Sitting here talking to a friend about my life cause well he is my logical side i talk to when it comes to me cause well i can't trust myself. I have come to the conclusion that i am scared as hell of talking to women. I know it sounds stupid but when i am alone and talking to a women i tend to clam up and not talk.
Now i know i have almost zero on the self confidence meter, but should that be stopping me from even talking to them. There is this one women i need to write an apologize to. I had promised to meet her and have a nice lunch and that is all. but somewhere in my head i am scared to death to talk to her in person. She is smart and funny and I'm worried other then the fact i am a boat in size and most likely not attractive at all. Yet I should at least meet said person because i did promise that but why the fuck am i so scared to even talk.
Am i afraid of being judged. well yea. Most people don't know my back ground growing up and well I a tad ashamed of the choices i have made from school to work to even friends and the choices i made in there names. I have never been a leader or a go getter. i kind of float and let life move around me. and from this stand i miss ever thing and let life pass me by.
I regret so much in my life and wish i could of done a few things so differently. alas I think a hair cut will feel good this Friday when i get paid. maybe I'll go up to Chicago and get a lunch if i have the day off work.
All in all my B day is on the horizon and i need ideas for fun things since for the first years of my life i have never done anything special on this day and i would like to change that. So toss the ideas this way.
Now i know i have almost zero on the self confidence meter, but should that be stopping me from even talking to them. There is this one women i need to write an apologize to. I had promised to meet her and have a nice lunch and that is all. but somewhere in my head i am scared to death to talk to her in person. She is smart and funny and I'm worried other then the fact i am a boat in size and most likely not attractive at all. Yet I should at least meet said person because i did promise that but why the fuck am i so scared to even talk.
Am i afraid of being judged. well yea. Most people don't know my back ground growing up and well I a tad ashamed of the choices i have made from school to work to even friends and the choices i made in there names. I have never been a leader or a go getter. i kind of float and let life move around me. and from this stand i miss ever thing and let life pass me by.
I regret so much in my life and wish i could of done a few things so differently. alas I think a hair cut will feel good this Friday when i get paid. maybe I'll go up to Chicago and get a lunch if i have the day off work.
All in all my B day is on the horizon and i need ideas for fun things since for the first years of my life i have never done anything special on this day and i would like to change that. So toss the ideas this way.