i feel very alone today
soo im kinda new to all this journaling stuff. i hope this helps me some. anyways, today i feel really alone in all this stuff. i work at one of the only places open on christmas day, and somehow a good guy friend of mine got my secret out of me. that being that for the past 5 yrs (since grade 8) i've been battling with an eating disorder. im not sure which one. i used to go days without eating, or just eating an orange or so throughout the day...but now i just go to the bathroom after every meal and purge it out. i must admit, its very addicting. and so is the working out. im so ashamed at myself and feel like im going to be judged or seen differently if i tell people. even though this particular guy says he doesn't see me any differently, i notice that he looks at me differently. i guess its the self conscious part of me but now every time he sees me coming out of the bathroom, i wonder if he thinks "oh, she just got done puking her guts out." i dont know. i guess i decided to do this whole journal thing in order to find unknown people who can actually relate to me, someone i can be myself with, someone who i can encourage, and hope to be encouraged back.
does anyone else ever feel this alone??
like, no matter what people say, you know they NEVER will TRULY understand you???
does anyone else ever feel this alone??
like, no matter what people say, you know they NEVER will TRULY understand you???