Slow melting of ice
Greetings all. I am alive.
That I am alive comes as much more of a surprise to me than I am sure it does to any of you.
That being said, I will update you all as best I can (since I know you're all interested).
I've managed to find and hold a job for the past year or so. It's a retail job, which means it desperately sucks, but it's something that helps feed and shelter me, so I guess I should be grateful for that much, especially considering that I could not even say I had THAT at this time last year.
I am also writing a book. I've been working on it for the last year. I have no idea why I wrote it at all except that it was a great excuse to write at all. I'm just surprised that it has evolved into what it is. Someday within the next few months, I hope to have the rough draft finished so I can find some people who might want to read it and see what they think.
If anyone had been wondering about my hermitage, my job and my book (at least until recently) were responsible for about half of it. The other half, I'm afraid, is my continuing struggle with depression.
I am now officially non existent according to my mother, and my father, who's always had bigger biceps than cojones, has decided to allow that to mean that he does not get to talk with me either. All this happened just before my grandfather (dad's father) was diagnosed two months ago with lung cancer. Perhaps some of you know how much I had to fight the urge to laugh and say "i told you so!" before I burst into tears right on the spot. According to the news I heard two months ago, my grandfather may have three months left in this world. trying to contact him has been such a fiasco because of my parents that it's taken all of my strength not to fly back over to New York and confront them in person.
Marjorie continues to do well, and she is now an official high school biology teacher for the Beaverton, Oregon school district. She teaches at a school called South Ridge. That, in fact, is where she is at this very minute. She is happy doing what she does, and I am happy for her.
Would that I had that kind of direction in my own life=)
I should go now, i suppose, and think about writing more of my book if i accomplish nothing else today. I'm fighting the urge to scream today, i suppose. It's not been a good day for me emotionally, and quite frankly, I feel like an alien who has been placed among normal people and expected to function as they do. it's not easy, especially lately.
Talk to you all later, perhaps.
That I am alive comes as much more of a surprise to me than I am sure it does to any of you.
That being said, I will update you all as best I can (since I know you're all interested).
I've managed to find and hold a job for the past year or so. It's a retail job, which means it desperately sucks, but it's something that helps feed and shelter me, so I guess I should be grateful for that much, especially considering that I could not even say I had THAT at this time last year.
I am also writing a book. I've been working on it for the last year. I have no idea why I wrote it at all except that it was a great excuse to write at all. I'm just surprised that it has evolved into what it is. Someday within the next few months, I hope to have the rough draft finished so I can find some people who might want to read it and see what they think.
If anyone had been wondering about my hermitage, my job and my book (at least until recently) were responsible for about half of it. The other half, I'm afraid, is my continuing struggle with depression.
I am now officially non existent according to my mother, and my father, who's always had bigger biceps than cojones, has decided to allow that to mean that he does not get to talk with me either. All this happened just before my grandfather (dad's father) was diagnosed two months ago with lung cancer. Perhaps some of you know how much I had to fight the urge to laugh and say "i told you so!" before I burst into tears right on the spot. According to the news I heard two months ago, my grandfather may have three months left in this world. trying to contact him has been such a fiasco because of my parents that it's taken all of my strength not to fly back over to New York and confront them in person.
Marjorie continues to do well, and she is now an official high school biology teacher for the Beaverton, Oregon school district. She teaches at a school called South Ridge. That, in fact, is where she is at this very minute. She is happy doing what she does, and I am happy for her.
Would that I had that kind of direction in my own life=)
I should go now, i suppose, and think about writing more of my book if i accomplish nothing else today. I'm fighting the urge to scream today, i suppose. It's not been a good day for me emotionally, and quite frankly, I feel like an alien who has been placed among normal people and expected to function as they do. it's not easy, especially lately.
Talk to you all later, perhaps.