What is "appropriate"? I moved to a new town with two weeks left in kindergarten, and the teacher was extremely hostile. I never got to go to recess. I was required to sit and wait for the directions to be given when worksheets were handed out even though i could read the directions for myself. I was not allowed to ask questions during story time, which was what i had been encouraged to do at home. The teacher tried to flunk me and had the audacity of saying that i would never be able to learn how to read. I was already reading above my grade level, no thanks to her. Maybe i sound bitter, but she also tried to flunk a friend of mine, who had done all of her work perfectly, just because she was too emotionally damaged and shy to talk during class (basically, for being the absolute opposite of me).
I don't know how to fix this, but i have been a social outcast my entire life. I can communicate effectively with adults, i got straight A's all the way from preschool through high school, but my peers either will use me or want nothing to do with me. Teachers either hated me or made me their pet (despite the fact that i didn't want to be one). I was abused at home, abused at school, am i the one to blame? Dang it, why couldn't i be more loveable?!? xD
Having worked with children myself, finding something to love has not always helped. I hope you figure out what to do. <3
As in what is appropriate behavior and participation?
Appropriate behavior means that I am allowed to speak and teach uninterrupted. My students are also allowed to speak uninterrupted. I am allowed to do my job while being treated with the same respect I give the other people in the class. We have a right to an uniterrupted lesson where I am not spending an inordinate amount of time repeatedly correcting the same behaviors of one or two children. A stop-and-start way of teaching is not an effective way for chilren to learn.
Appropriate behavior is sitting in your chair in a safe way that involves having your behind on the flat of the chair. It does not mean you sit perpendicular to your chair with your legs out to the side where you are kicking/touching your neighbor nor does it mean sitting with your back on the flat part of the chair and looking up at the ceiling with your legs flung over the back of the chair where you might kick the person behind you. Sitting in a chair appropriately means all four legs of the chair are on the ground at the same time. It also means keeping your hands and feet to yourself and not touching anyone else's chair.
Appropriate participation is singing with your best voice and not shrieking in order to get a laugh out of your classmates. Appropriate participation is staying in your seat and not wandering around the class when you get bored and checking out the things on the teacher's desk.
It also means treating the recorder that has been lent to you with respect - which in turn means not flinging it on the floor and kicking it across the room, not licking it around and around, and not blowing through each finger hole while the teacher is demonstrating to you how to hold your fingers, and not holding it up to your eye like you are a pirate looking through your telescope. (Yeah, seen that one a million times. The jokes get old when you've been at the rodeo as long as I have.)
Despite outward looks, there really is a relaxed attitude in my classroom. I compare a lot of what we do to driving in traffic. Plan ahead, keep thinking, maintain your focus. Follow the rules of the road and everything will be fine, you'll be left alone, but if you want to be reckless in class, then there is going to be a problem.
My students know I like to have fun, they know I love to laugh and play, but they also know when it is time to work and when it is time to be silly. They know that the more I can trust them to come back to 'center' after a bit of silliness and fun, the more likely I am to let them have a looser rein. There is a lot of freedom in having appropraite limits. A little bit of self-control goes a long way.
I try very hard to make my lessons effective. I ask children to do things that I know they can/will be able to do. They are expected to try. I teach them to persevere through their frustration. I ask them only to do things that are safe, reasonable, and fair.
I am sorry your life has been one of abuse and bad experiences. If you had only come to my class you might have felt a bit differently.
Oo, you do sound strict! Which seems to be a rare thing anymore. I've often wondered about children similar to the one(s) you described, what portion of the home environment encourages or causes that. There was one time i was thinking about joining a club, and one of the meetings was at the house of the leaders. Their children were out of control. Their daughter wouldn't eat the lunch, and first her mother said that she couldn't eat anything else. Then she said that she could have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...but only if she had jelly, too. And the girl was climbing on the counters, put a ton of peanut butter on her bread, no jelly. When it was all said and done the girl had broken all of the rules her mother had set her and there was no repercussions. Are some children just stubborn and it can't be helped, or is it the lack of discipline, or is it a combination? I am frequently surprised by what my mother lets the younger siblings get away with that was so against the rules when i was little.
I don't know how to fix this, but i have been a social outcast my entire life. I can communicate effectively with adults, i got straight A's all the way from preschool through high school, but my peers either will use me or want nothing to do with me. Teachers either hated me or made me their pet (despite the fact that i didn't want to be one). I was abused at home, abused at school, am i the one to blame? Dang it, why couldn't i be more loveable?!? xD
Having worked with children myself, finding something to love has not always helped. I hope you figure out what to do. <3
Reply
Appropriate behavior means that I am allowed to speak and teach uninterrupted. My students are also allowed to speak uninterrupted. I am allowed to do my job while being treated with the same respect I give the other people in the class. We have a right to an uniterrupted lesson where I am not spending an inordinate amount of time repeatedly correcting the same behaviors of one or two children. A stop-and-start way of teaching is not an effective way for chilren to learn.
Appropriate behavior is sitting in your chair in a safe way that involves having your behind on the flat of the chair. It does not mean you sit perpendicular to your chair with your legs out to the side where you are kicking/touching your neighbor nor does it mean sitting with your back on the flat part of the chair and looking up at the ceiling with your legs flung over the back of the chair where you might kick the person behind you. Sitting in a chair appropriately means all four legs of the chair are on the ground at the same time. It also means keeping your hands and feet to yourself and not touching anyone else's chair.
Appropriate participation is singing with your best voice and not shrieking in order to get a laugh out of your classmates. Appropriate participation is staying in your seat and not wandering around the class when you get bored and checking out the things on the teacher's desk.
It also means treating the recorder that has been lent to you with respect - which in turn means not flinging it on the floor and kicking it across the room, not licking it around and around, and not blowing through each finger hole while the teacher is demonstrating to you how to hold your fingers, and not holding it up to your eye like you are a pirate looking through your telescope. (Yeah, seen that one a million times. The jokes get old when you've been at the rodeo as long as I have.)
Despite outward looks, there really is a relaxed attitude in my classroom. I compare a lot of what we do to driving in traffic. Plan ahead, keep thinking, maintain your focus. Follow the rules of the road and everything will be fine, you'll be left alone, but if you want to be reckless in class, then there is going to be a problem.
My students know I like to have fun, they know I love to laugh and play, but they also know when it is time to work and when it is time to be silly. They know that the more I can trust them to come back to 'center' after a bit of silliness and fun, the more likely I am to let them have a looser rein. There is a lot of freedom in having appropraite limits. A little bit of self-control goes a long way.
I try very hard to make my lessons effective. I ask children to do things that I know they can/will be able to do. They are expected to try. I teach them to persevere through their frustration. I ask them only to do things that are safe, reasonable, and fair.
I am sorry your life has been one of abuse and bad experiences. If you had only come to my class you might have felt a bit differently.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment