Crossroads
I figured it was about time to use my own words instead of song lyrics to describe my recent feelings. Realistically this will most likely be my last entry for a while.
I am at such a crossroads in my life right now. I don't care how cliche it sounds, it's true. So many things are hanging in the air, it's exhausting just to think about it. Watching friendships slowly but surely fade away, while attempting to rekindle others. Trying to decide what I want to be and who I want to become. I have no idea what I am doing after I graduate. Grad School? Working? Peace Corps or some other volunteering organization? I need to channel the direction that I've had up until this point in my life, but it is so challenging.
This summer has been an eye opener in more ways than one. The artwork at the gallery I intern in is created by amazingly talented youth from Southeast Washington, D.C., which for those that don't know, basically the ghetto of D.C. On top of their horrible living conditions, the artists are also battling learning disabilities, yet they create pieces of art that are so far beyond my skill level.
They have so much passion and drive, it makes me question my own passions. Am I willing to sacrifice a comfortable lifestyle for them? The artists apprentices at the gallery have inspired me to answer yes. I will be sad to leave here in two weeks. Even though the unpaid aspect gets old fast, this internship and just the entire experiance of living in D.C. has been priceless.
Aside from the career situation, my personal life has seemed to come full circle. It only took the discovery of a few forgotten email messages for me to realize where the bulk of my emotional issues still rest. However, despite all of the turmoil and regrets that accompany the loss of a first love, I am optimistic. Call me an idealist, but I still believe that there is love out there for everyone. I'm ready to find the person that embraces every part of me and will allow me to do the same for them.
This school year is going to change me in so many ways, I can feel it. I will be building on previous relationships and hopefully allowing new ones to blossom. I will continue to follow my passions and follow my instincts. I will be learning and experiancing and living. I am ready.
I am at such a crossroads in my life right now. I don't care how cliche it sounds, it's true. So many things are hanging in the air, it's exhausting just to think about it. Watching friendships slowly but surely fade away, while attempting to rekindle others. Trying to decide what I want to be and who I want to become. I have no idea what I am doing after I graduate. Grad School? Working? Peace Corps or some other volunteering organization? I need to channel the direction that I've had up until this point in my life, but it is so challenging.
This summer has been an eye opener in more ways than one. The artwork at the gallery I intern in is created by amazingly talented youth from Southeast Washington, D.C., which for those that don't know, basically the ghetto of D.C. On top of their horrible living conditions, the artists are also battling learning disabilities, yet they create pieces of art that are so far beyond my skill level.
They have so much passion and drive, it makes me question my own passions. Am I willing to sacrifice a comfortable lifestyle for them? The artists apprentices at the gallery have inspired me to answer yes. I will be sad to leave here in two weeks. Even though the unpaid aspect gets old fast, this internship and just the entire experiance of living in D.C. has been priceless.
Aside from the career situation, my personal life has seemed to come full circle. It only took the discovery of a few forgotten email messages for me to realize where the bulk of my emotional issues still rest. However, despite all of the turmoil and regrets that accompany the loss of a first love, I am optimistic. Call me an idealist, but I still believe that there is love out there for everyone. I'm ready to find the person that embraces every part of me and will allow me to do the same for them.
This school year is going to change me in so many ways, I can feel it. I will be building on previous relationships and hopefully allowing new ones to blossom. I will continue to follow my passions and follow my instincts. I will be learning and experiancing and living. I am ready.