Is this an update?
So, where do i begin? I got into Eastern Michigan University. I'll be starting there in January. I'm scared because it's something new, but I'm excited to be moving on to the next phase of my life. I'll graduate from Schoolcraft at the end of the fall term with my Associates. I will end up double majoring in English Lit. and in Art (teaching like, K-12 art classes)
I turned another year old.
I feel like I'm trying to do things with good intentions, and it constantly back fires at me. I can't seem to get anything right...right enough for everyone esle's standards anyway. I don't see why I should have to lower my standards just to up someone elses'. Bah.
My van broke, then it was fixed. Casey lost his job over a week ago, I feel like a bum because I don't know how to help him. I've never been in that position and I don't know the words to say try to make him feel better. It bothers me that when I needed money he was able to give it to me, and I'm doing all that I can to not be broke, and I still can't help him. He wouldn't take the money anyway, but it's the fact that even if I wanted to try to force him to take it, I don't have it. It bothers me that I can't help. That is what I'm here for, that is my job, and as usual, I'm failing at it.
I'm not depressed, I've been depressed before and I'm not there. Not by a long shot. I'm actually very happy with my life to a certain degree, considering I was in a major depression for years and thought about ending it everyday. So, for anyone reading, please do not feel that the above paragraph is to lead you to that conclusion. It is just something that I felt the need to express with out you getting the impression that I want to smear the blood from my veins across my bedroom wall. Maybe that last sentence was a little extream, but o fucking well.
The more I talk to the advisors at EMU the more excited I get about what I will be doing with my life. I'm going to help people...kids, I'm going to help them and I'm going to teach them. I get to be a positive influence in their lives and that makes me feel good. Call that corney if you want, but with all of the negitive influences, the hate, the descrimination, and bad things that are going on I can at least say that I am on the side with the good guys showing kids that there is a lot they can do with their lives. I know that sounds really corney to some, but hey, I am in fact a corn ball. And to honest, if it makes me feel good, I don't really care how corney some may think it is, because as of this very moment, it's not about you. It's about me. ;-p
My headaches are coming back again. I don't know why or what I'm going to do about them. They suck. Maybe I'll take a bottle of asprin with a case of red bull and see if that works.
Anyway, Just to let some of you know, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I'm working mad hours and all work and no play makes jessica dull girl.
Kate, I did get your call a few weeks ago and I know I never called you back. I'm sorry. Forgive me.
Good night.
I turned another year old.
I feel like I'm trying to do things with good intentions, and it constantly back fires at me. I can't seem to get anything right...right enough for everyone esle's standards anyway. I don't see why I should have to lower my standards just to up someone elses'. Bah.
My van broke, then it was fixed. Casey lost his job over a week ago, I feel like a bum because I don't know how to help him. I've never been in that position and I don't know the words to say try to make him feel better. It bothers me that when I needed money he was able to give it to me, and I'm doing all that I can to not be broke, and I still can't help him. He wouldn't take the money anyway, but it's the fact that even if I wanted to try to force him to take it, I don't have it. It bothers me that I can't help. That is what I'm here for, that is my job, and as usual, I'm failing at it.
I'm not depressed, I've been depressed before and I'm not there. Not by a long shot. I'm actually very happy with my life to a certain degree, considering I was in a major depression for years and thought about ending it everyday. So, for anyone reading, please do not feel that the above paragraph is to lead you to that conclusion. It is just something that I felt the need to express with out you getting the impression that I want to smear the blood from my veins across my bedroom wall. Maybe that last sentence was a little extream, but o fucking well.
The more I talk to the advisors at EMU the more excited I get about what I will be doing with my life. I'm going to help people...kids, I'm going to help them and I'm going to teach them. I get to be a positive influence in their lives and that makes me feel good. Call that corney if you want, but with all of the negitive influences, the hate, the descrimination, and bad things that are going on I can at least say that I am on the side with the good guys showing kids that there is a lot they can do with their lives. I know that sounds really corney to some, but hey, I am in fact a corn ball. And to honest, if it makes me feel good, I don't really care how corney some may think it is, because as of this very moment, it's not about you. It's about me. ;-p
My headaches are coming back again. I don't know why or what I'm going to do about them. They suck. Maybe I'll take a bottle of asprin with a case of red bull and see if that works.
Anyway, Just to let some of you know, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I'm working mad hours and all work and no play makes jessica dull girl.
Kate, I did get your call a few weeks ago and I know I never called you back. I'm sorry. Forgive me.
Good night.