you finally find [you and i collide]
It's become a habit I never thought I'd get accustomed to, to wake up beside someone everyday and to look forward to that. I actually look forward to the day beginning instead of the day ending so I can close my eyes and fall asleep and everything can just continue being shitty without me actually being conscious of that fact.
The days have bled together so much that I'm not even remotely sure when I last had the nightmares. The last time I had walked around at night restlessly instead of going to sleep. I don't remember when I became comfortable with sleep again either. Two weeks ago? Three? I'm not even sure if it really matters anymore.
Veronica and I are stuck in our own little world with different names and a different life that's nothing like the ones we'd possessed in Neptune. I can see the occasional shade when her eyes darken and she thinking about her father, but everything here just becomes easier with time, I guess. Everything becomes easier and for the first time in my life I'm able to just push it all behind.
Leaving Neptune might have been easier than it should have been, but now that I'm gone I'm not ever sure that I'd want to go back.
I remember last week we had to babysit Shira. And I'm not sure if either of us had done that, but I really hadn't. Veronica had been out at first, taking care of photographing the view of the restaurant for the new menus Daniel and Maribeth asked her create. I almost choked on my own breath at the thought of taking care of some kid, but at the same time it had been Shira and Shira was practically some miniature equally talkative version of her mother once she got to know you and got past the shy stage.
I kept thinking about the fact that I still has these mysterious cooking skills whereas weeks ago Veronica had caved in and made her ever evasive snickerdoodles. Every now and then there was a joke that I was going to finally showing her by putting a frozen pizza in the oven, but I had other plans for tonight.
Putting in the mixed CD I had made her for background music, I stirred the homemade spaghetti sauce I'd started cooking the moment she went out to work this morning. Lowering the temperature to a slow boil on a separate burner, I stirred the pasta.
"So, I'm pretty sure that Maribeth is trying to put more meat on our bones. I got leftovers from downstairs, I hope that's okay...-"
She stopped at the sight of me cooking.
"Um, not really," I teased with a sly smile, barely glancing up to see the look on her face. "I got bored," I motioned towards the food. "By the way, you weren't supposed to see this until it's done, so... you can go back downstairs until I finish."
The days have bled together so much that I'm not even remotely sure when I last had the nightmares. The last time I had walked around at night restlessly instead of going to sleep. I don't remember when I became comfortable with sleep again either. Two weeks ago? Three? I'm not even sure if it really matters anymore.
Veronica and I are stuck in our own little world with different names and a different life that's nothing like the ones we'd possessed in Neptune. I can see the occasional shade when her eyes darken and she thinking about her father, but everything here just becomes easier with time, I guess. Everything becomes easier and for the first time in my life I'm able to just push it all behind.
Leaving Neptune might have been easier than it should have been, but now that I'm gone I'm not ever sure that I'd want to go back.
I remember last week we had to babysit Shira. And I'm not sure if either of us had done that, but I really hadn't. Veronica had been out at first, taking care of photographing the view of the restaurant for the new menus Daniel and Maribeth asked her create. I almost choked on my own breath at the thought of taking care of some kid, but at the same time it had been Shira and Shira was practically some miniature equally talkative version of her mother once she got to know you and got past the shy stage.
I kept thinking about the fact that I still has these mysterious cooking skills whereas weeks ago Veronica had caved in and made her ever evasive snickerdoodles. Every now and then there was a joke that I was going to finally showing her by putting a frozen pizza in the oven, but I had other plans for tonight.
Putting in the mixed CD I had made her for background music, I stirred the homemade spaghetti sauce I'd started cooking the moment she went out to work this morning. Lowering the temperature to a slow boil on a separate burner, I stirred the pasta.
"So, I'm pretty sure that Maribeth is trying to put more meat on our bones. I got leftovers from downstairs, I hope that's okay...-"
She stopped at the sight of me cooking.
"Um, not really," I teased with a sly smile, barely glancing up to see the look on her face. "I got bored," I motioned towards the food. "By the way, you weren't supposed to see this until it's done, so... you can go back downstairs until I finish."