where did those crass band mornings go and the dreaming over tea
Thank god, Veronica was actually serious about getting the PS2. The whole buying spree the two of us went on was fairly incredible. I'm pretty sure that, in general, the spending of money was far more enjoyable than anything we've done in the last few days
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Yeah, he had been having a little string of good ideas lately. Not all of them parents would approve of, but hey, good ideas were good ideas. And my dad really didn't need to hear any more about the events of the night before he found us asleep on the couch than he already had. We were all much better off there.
"This would be the plan." I laughed at his amused look. "And I know we weren't exactly expecting to have all this come so easily... but looking at all the positive stuff like it's going to bite us in the ass? Seems pointless. Besides? Isn't it important that we're comfortable there? Have a space where we can feel like it's ours and we can be ourselves? We can be pessimistic later." I insisted.
"Why didn't I see you as having a problem with either concept?" I smirked, "And you were the reason I was skipping class on a daily basis last I checked." It was probably too cold to actually go swimming or anything, but it was winter. Just being near the water was good enough for now. We could just kill time going for a walk and watching the waves.
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And maybe good karma was coming around for her, but I had a hard time believing that all of this would be so easy. It was too easy, but I wasn’t going to say that. She already knew that I thought it was too easy. Veronica knew that I could believe people like Maribeth and Daniel existed without a mask concealing all of their flaws. I was sure they still had flaws to be revealed.
The positive stuff was going to bite us in the ass and I wasn’t going to be surprised by it.
This place was just a place and some stopping point. It had never really mattered where I stayed - especially not to me. Home had stopped feeling like home a long time ago. Now, I just sought out something that covered me and had a door. I lacked requirements. Veronica cared more than I did about where we might live.
“And I was that reason?” I asked with mock disbelief towards her. “No wonder your dad thinks I’m such a bad influence.” That and the almost weekly jail visits. Being accused of murder did nothing for parents of your girlfriend.
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Yeah, he's gotta be kicking himself for that right about now. I wouldn't have gotten involved with the Fitzpatricks to need to plan the great escape from the Sheriff's department, or our disappearing act. Of course Logan would probably still end up going to prison for something he didn't do... at least this way we stood half a chance on securing his freedom. Or my dad did, anyway. Wasn't much I could do from here.
I knew Logan was still having issues with how easy everything had been today, but I wasn't exactly expecting anything different there. He wouldn't be Logan otherwise. He had this tendency to make me look like a ray of sunshine.
And really? We weren't going to survive this if one of us wasn't trying to find the bright spots in all of this. It was just too much if we just focused in on what was wrong or what might go wrong. We had to have something to keep going for, otherwise, why did we bother coming here? I mean, Leo lost his job for us to do this... it has to be worth something.
"You think?" I laughed, "I mean, he tells me to stay away from you, and my response to that is to spend time making out with you in the bathroom. Or sneaking off to your boat. Yeah, it's a complete mystery there."
"The really sad thing? He was just starting to come around." I added, sighing slightly, resting my head on his chest. It's going to be really interesting to see what happens when we go home... if he's going to try to keep us apart again or whether he's just going to keep his mouth shut? Because clearly the fact that I'm 18 makes no difference. But at least I can understand why he's going to be less than thrilled. I mean, the odds of graduating on time were about zero right now.
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“And despite how proud daddy Mars must be of you, I’m pretty sure this is not the way he envisioned you using that info,” I replied. No, Keith was rolling around sleeplessly because he’s scared to death for his daughter right now.
I didn’t take away from any worry. I probably just added to it. I mean, there was a book for God sakes written on my dad by hers. It was something like Big murder, small town or to that extent. Anyway, it involves things that I’d rather bury six feet under than discuss with anyone. Your father locking up your girlfriend in a fridge and setting it on fire just to cover up the other murder (the other girlfriend of yours he killed) isn’t the most thrilling of conversation topics. However, I think Keith Mars is more concerned with me smashing more lamps around his daughter - or maybe he thinks I’d ever be able to lay a hand on Veronica. It’s so far from the truth I could cry. I kept needing to prove that I was nothing like my father and being accused of murder did nothing to help my own case. It was just sinking deeper once I saw all the evidence that had been placed against me.
I had absolutely no problem thinking that I wasn’t a good influence, but at the same time it wasn’t as if Veronica was some wide-eyed impressionable virgin. She hadn’t been innocent for a long time and her father had yet to clue in on that. The look on his face when he saw us on the couch is coming to mind.
“Delinquent,” I called her, brushing her hair back from her cheek. “Your dad is going to never trust me,” I said lightly as I leaned in to kiss her. It was possibly true. Again with my problem - I lack caring whether he trusts me or not in this situation. I was here until the moment Veronica decided she didn’t need me anymore.
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I got what he was trying to say... that he couldn't even begin to know how to deal with figuring out what we needed to do to disappear. He was probably even questioning if he could have pulled it off either way. Thinking one step ahead of everyone else... I'd been doing it so long now that it was as natural as breathing. Probably part of the reason I love the P.I. stuff anyway, because it's so natural to me. Trying to act like it wasn't really wasn't working so well. Obviously.
"Not likely, no, but I think maybe it helps for him to know I can actually handle myself... that I know how to keep us safe has got to be helping a little... It's not like we just ran off without a clue what we're doing. We've done everything right. And Lamb's still convinced we're in Mexico, remember?" I pointed out gently, "We're gonna be okay, and Dad's gonna figure out a way for us to come home as soon as possible, you know that."
Yeah, if I know my dad he's channeling all the not sleeping he's doing into working on figuring out some way to make sure it's safe for me to come home. And he knows I'm not about to go back to Neptune without Logan. I wouldn't even be here in the first place if that was about to happen. Never mind the fact that he wouldn't know what to do or not to do unless I had the time to tell him... not talking to him, never mind seeing him, for potentially months? Still not an acceptable concept.
"Not entirely untrue." I replied evenly as he called me a delinquent. Technically I'd missed a lot more school in the past year and a half than the records showed, and I was a long way from being the girl who wouldn't ditch class to spend time with her mother. Let's not even get into some of the things I'd done while working cases. "Actually pretty fair assessment when you think about it." I added with a smile as he brushed my hair back, "And who said he had to trust you? He just has to accept the fact that you're in my life, and that you're going to be no matter what he says." I stated, my voice firm.
I know my dad wanted what was best for me, and a few events surrounding Logan have made him pretty convinced he's not it. Except for the fact that aside from smashing the lamp, what has he done around me to make my dad think Logan wouldn't go out of his way to keep me safe? I knew he would. That was what mattered. That I trusted him. That I felt safe with him in every possible way. As much as I love my dad - it's not his place to dictate who I can and can't see anymore.
"He's really just going to have to learn to deal." I said, kissing Logan softly, "Because love you, and I'm really not about to let you go again for anything." As if that wasn't already obvious? We drove each other crazy, but there was always love underneath any of the jabs thrown back and forth. And I was happy with him. That should count for something.
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The world of private investigating and everything that came along with it was second nature to Veronica, just like it was second nature for me to have someone else around who just would possibly no better. I'd be rotting in a jail cell back in Neptune, there's no doubt about that. It was just for a crime that I couldn't have possibly committed.
Thinking back to that night on the bridge, I can think of so many other possibilities that night could have ended with. Holding a bloodied knife in my hand and looking across towards a dead kid my age was definitely not how I thought the night would end. Tumbling off the ledge of the bridge crossed my mind as well as throwing up from the drunken stupor I was in. Then again, I didn't exactly expect to hear the news that my dad had been having an affair with my dead girlfriend and then killed her to silence her from telling the tabloids. Considerably, the night went sour the moment Weevil and his gang turned up to beat the crap out of me.
Yeah, no wonder Keith Mars didn't particularly trust me.
Sure, he knew Veronica could handle herself in difficult situations, but he didn't want her to have to. That was the point. She was long beyond thinking she could recapture the things normal teens were supposed to do (for the most part) and that's exactly what Keith wanted for her. He wanted her to have every opportunity she possibly could have.
And maybe Keith Mars is an exception to that little voice inside that tells me that all parents have to be fucked completely. The only mistakes I've seen in plain sight were just to protect Veronica because she was what was important to him. She was what should be important. I have this little flash of the Lianne Mars/Aaron Echolls in my head and my stomach churns in discontent. If only other parent might take after that sort of example.
I feel a small smile pull at my cheeks as she said that I was going to be in her life no matter what her father said. I shook my head lightly, the look still wearing on my face. "I'm not worried," I reassured her, insisting. Keith forbidding me from seeing her was possibly the last thing on my mind and the last thing I ever think would actually separate us.
"He's really just going to have to learn to deal. Because love you, and I'm really not about to let you go again for anything."
I returned the soft kiss she gave me and brushed her cheek with my thumb. For a while - even when things were at their worst - I knew all I had was her. I don't think I could possibly need anything else. I know I don't want anything else. "Let go of me? You can't even get rid of me," I told her.
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I wasn't sure where his thoughts had wandered to, but he looked like the antithesis of happy for a few moments. I would have questioned it, but the smile returned to his face before I even had a chance. Besides, he probably didn't want to talk about whatever it was. If he did he would have said something.
"No reason you should be that I can see." I smiled back, "So...good." There really wasn't any reason at all for him to think I was about to let anybody or anything keep us apart.
"Well, I can't exactly argue that." I replied as he caressed my cheek gently with his thumb. He wasn't the one that walked away the first time. Even when we were being completely horrible to each other and denying how we felt he was still in my heart. "I may have broken up with you, but you were always there. Even when I tried to move on and get over you - well, it really didn't work, did it?" I asked softly.
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My fingers traced up her arm and wrist to intertwine my fingers with hers. I didn't exactly need the recount of things that had happened between us at this moment, nor did I want to exactly hear how I had stuck around her like a love sick puppy. The stuff was over with now and we were together. It probably didn't stop me putting Duncan in the same situation I had been. The two of us always did manage to screw the other over when it came to Veronica.
I have a horribly vivid memory of Veronica actually breaking up with me - for what? The second time? I had done the on again off again thing with Lilly and I wasn't looking for some repeat with Veronica. Not like anyone could actually guess that I wanted something stable in my life, after all, I had run after Kendall Casablancas (and succeeded with anything that came afterwards). It was just something to fill the time. Something to feel anything.
"Just don't like... try to get over me again, okay?" I sort of laugh at my own words before leaning in to kiss her softly. "I don't really want you to get over me." I didn't want her to have to. I didn't even want that as a thought because I didn't want to deal with trying to get over her again.
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