This entire day? So not what I was expecting...

Jan 14, 2006 20:59

Remember when I thought my middle name should be 'hopeless and pathetic dreamer'? Clearly I wasn't wrong ( Read more... )

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renewedsoul_v January 17 2006, 06:04:17 UTC
"That's an excellent point." I nodded when he brought up the fact that a cheap motel room was actually preferable to a sink or dryer leaving lovely bruises. That I could definitely do without. "Besides, the location's so not what's important."

"Which would be better for it to be, Logan? Porn, or actual human beings?" I smirked as I set my chips aside for the moment. I was still in the 'know I should eat, but not overly hungry' mode. And I really didn't see how it could make a difference which it was on the other side of that wall, the sounds would be more or less the same, without the cheesy music, but whatever.

"I'm really not." I shook my head slightly when he called me special. "Maybe a little less shallow than some of the girls in our school, but I don't think that exactly makes me special, just not the status quo." I told him. He was right about one thing though, I wasn't really a sex on the first date type of girl. Never had been. Given the choice I'd pick something meaningful every time.

"I know everything's kind of insane, but if it isn't real we're both having the same hallucination." I pointed out. "Either that or I've gone from being your loving girlfriend to a figment of your imagination. So personally I'm voting for real." I got where she was coming from, how it would be hard to believe all this was happening, and if I hadn't been so busy most of the day making it happen, I'd probably question it, too.

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logan_echolls January 17 2006, 06:34:47 UTC
I was going to comment on this whole Porn-slash-human beings, because generally I think it would be more pleasurable for our next door neighbor if there was actually someone in his bed, when Veronica tried to claim that she really wasn't that special. "I wasn't exactly saying specifically the whole not doing it on the first date was special. Rare, maybe, but that's not what makes you special."

Sliding off the bed, I put my can of Coke on the bedside table. I let out a sigh before kneeling by her side. "'Cause, believe me," I had to sort of give a laugh, "you're special."

"Yeah, everything is pretty insane, but you really make it a lot less insane." I told her firmly. And this, this specifically, didn't feel like a figment of my imagination. "You feel real, okay?"

I threaded my fingers through her hair and brought her mouth down on to mine, tasting the remains of chocolate and chips on her lips for too brief of a moment. She always felt real in what ever she did. I caught her lips with mine again.

"If you continue to talk about how not-so-special you are I'm going to have to start proving that you are, which might actually be fun in the long run," I laughed softly against her lips.

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renewedsoul_v January 17 2006, 07:29:55 UTC
"Should I even question what it was I did to make you so convinced I'm special?" I questioned as he got off the bed and came over to me.

"I'm - Good." I smiled softly as he said I felt real to him. "I'm glad I make things less insane." And I really was. If we couldn't make things seem at least a little quieter for each other, something wasn't right. Having someone around that you love and that loves you gives you something steady to focus on, if only for a moment. Which is pretty much what Logan was doing right now. Focusing on me so things seemed less crazy.

I moaned softly into his mouth as we kissed, deepening it for a few seconds. "I love you." I whispered softly, caressing his cheek softly with my thumb for a moment before he captured my lips with his again. I knew he probably wouldn't agree with me on this after today, but I still felt lucky that he was a part of my life, that I had somebody I knew without a doubt loved me as completely as I did him. Even if our own cynicism and negativity made us wonder how we deserved it at times.

"Okay, saying it might be fun in the long run doesn't entirely inspire me to stop claiming I'm not special... if only to see what you'd do to prove me wrong." I pointed out at his laughter.

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logan_echolls January 17 2006, 11:03:21 UTC
What doesn't she do that makes her special, really? She doesn't have any need to question it. She's just- she's there more than she knows and I can't even explain it to her. She's special and I can't find the words to really convince her of it.

"Convince me?" I asked her, quirking a teasing smirk. "I knew it from the time you were in that whole pee wee soccer thing. I mean, a girl soccer player with an addiction to Spice Girls, what will they think of next?"

I smile at her thumb caressing my cheek lightly at the kiss. I don't know, maybe I thought it was special that she saw anything in me. Maybe just in general she was the only one I really trusted for anything. I knew she'd be honest, she wouldn't take crap from me and in general she wasn't about to be chased off the face of the earth or cheat on me. Which is a little more than a step up from everyone else I've possibly dated.

"And that whole convincing you bit, proving you wrong thing, would probably work if I didn't think I just proved it." I kissed her again lightly, smiling against her lips. "So where's the hair dye? Let's get this thing over with. I might actually come around to this idea of black hair if you do it first."

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renewedsoul_v January 17 2006, 20:38:48 UTC
"Right, because Sporty Spice didn't exist or anything." I smirked. "Not that I was ever that sporty. I only played soccer for one season. And I only joined Pep Squad for the P.E. credit. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't do the whole teamwork concept very well."

Yeah, that soccer thing was entirely not my idea. "Okay, so this is a completely random question, but the whole commenting that you knew I was special from the time I was in soccer, added to what you said at homecoming about thinking I was hot the first time you saw me, when we were twelve, in the aforementioned peewee soccer uniform... how is it that we ended up with who we did for so long?" I wasn't sure bringing up Lilly and Duncan was the best plan, but I couldn't help but be curious. Five years passed between then and us even kissing... "I mean, if you thought I was both hot and special for 6 years, why didn't you ever say anything sooner?" I asked gently.

"Right... I guess we'll see." I smiled, returning the kiss when he said he'd basically just proved I was special. "It's in my messenger bag." I told him, placing another quick kiss on his lips before I got up and grabbed the box from my bag. "And if you want me to do it first, fine." I added, not sure whether to be thankful my hair wasn't really all that thick or that his was on the short side. Either way, one box should be plenty.

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logan_echolls January 17 2006, 21:30:25 UTC
"I've noticed," I replied, amused. Veronica plus teamwork didn't exactly equal production, but her doing her thing on her own really seemed to in general change the conclusion. I don't know, maybe it was easier to think properly all alone.

I'm trying to remember the exact moment I chose Lilly instead of Veronica back then and telling your girlfriend that she wasn't the only one you found hot around doesn't exactly work the best - it's not really that true, because there was a specific moment in which I asked Lilly instead of her. "I don't know. They were special too?" I offered softly as she moved to grab the hair dye from her messenger bag. They really were. Veronica knew that too. We wouldn't have been stuck for so long over the Kane siblings if the case was otherwise. They were special and more or less we'd always love them.

I followed her over to the bathroom as she started in with the hair dye. I wrinkled my nose briefly at it. I couldn't imagine how much her question actually got to me. "Duncan... he-" I started, admittedly, "He always liked you and... Lilly in her completely messed up way liked me for whatever reason." And she wasn't as delicate and sweet as you used to be... "And I liked her too."

"There was only one time when I questioned why not me in regards to you and that was after this Summer, Veronica." I said, trying to separate a bitter tone from my throat. "For the most part back then we pretty much were steps away from hating each other."

I had to really wonder if we both even hated each other now. Just along with the loving. Because nothing really changed did it? Lilly died, Duncan became absent, but we were still us and I can't remember when things shifted into me kissing her instead of smashing her headlights.

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renewedsoul_v January 17 2006, 22:20:50 UTC
"Kinda hard not to, I guess." I nodded. "Especially with the amount of time I spend working on cases for kids at school that my dad doesn't even know about, never mind the ones Cliff conveniently seems to drop into my lap."

"They were." I agreed. "Can't argue that, and wouldn't even dare. Whatever problems I might have with Duncan right now, he's always going to have a special place in my heart, just like Lilly is for you. I know." That fact would be true until the day we died. I mean, how could it not when you love someone as much as Logan loved Lilly or I loved Duncan. There was a time where they were pretty much the centre of our respective worlds. Though sometimes it felt like the three of us kind of orbited around Lilly. She was the glue keeping us all together. It was more hers than Duncan's doing that I was accepted by the O9ners, no matter what anyone might try to claim. And it was definitely true that we were seriously lost without Lilly.

I couldn't help but wonder how different things would've been if Logan and I had ended up together instead of with Duncan and Lilly. Would we be on just as bad terms as I was with Duncan now? I hated that thought.

I took one of the towels off the shelf and put it over my shoulders before starting with any actual dying. I'd much rather turn the motel's towels funny colours than my clothes. Not like they could charge me for the damage anyway. Paid in cash and all.

"And you don't go after the girl your best friend likes." I added for him. "I know you well enough to know the second Duncan said he liked me that was it, Logan." I pointed out with a soft smile, letting him know I got it. "And before you even say it, nothing happened between either of us while I was with Duncan, so you don't need to feel guilty about any of it, okay?" I questioned. I was pretty sure there was this part of me that felt like he stole me away or something, which really isn't true.

"There was only one time when I questioned why not me in regards to you and that was after this Summer, Veronica." Okay, so clearly I'm going to be making up for that for the rest of my life, aren't I? I twisted a section of my hair up once it was coated in dye and piled it on top of my head carefully. "That, and you went out of your way to drive both Lilly and I insane when we were in junior high." I pointed out. "And the majority of the most hurtful things were done when basically the entire town hated my family for my dad going after Jake Kane, so it's not like I'm gonna hold that against you." I reminded him. Of course then there's the finding out about the X, and then seeing the camera in the pool house... I really have to learn to stop jumping to conclusions. "Besides, if I was still hanging on to every little thing you ever did that upset me or hurt me, do you honestly believe I'd be with you now?"

The most ironic thing about all this is Lilly's probably looking down at us now screaming at us to wake up. All the bickering we used to do while she was alive almost qualifies as grade school level flirting. Almost.

"I'm sorry I asked okay? Just, you bringing up soccer again... I'm too curious for my own good, you know that." I added quietly, watching him carefully in the mirror.

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