[talking_muses] Prompt 27c; Fake
When you are in surgery you can’t fake it. There is no bluffing your way through it. There is this life in your hands and to fake it could cost that life. Alertness, focus and concentration are key. I think its one of the biggest reasons I resented what my father had done. He’d go out for lunch and have too much to drink and then he’d walk into the operating room and open up a person. He was good through more often than not he did manage to bluff his way through surgeries. Until he killed a pregnant woman in front of me and then manipulated me into lying for him. I just couldn’t do it.
When we first crashed I felt like I was expected to be this leader. That’s the role I had whether it was all me or everyone else I don’t know. There I was with no idea what the hell to do and so I faked it. Of course it wasn’t really new to me to fake it outside of the OR. That’s what I’ve been doing most of my life. Acting like I knew what I doing. Sitting by a pool in Hawaii with a bottle of vodka in my hands reading Sarah’s vows. Trying to fly a kite in Thailand to absolve myself of sins I couldn’t even acknowledge. Sitting in front of the board of directors and staying silent. “Children should be seen and not heard, Jack.” Boarding a plane to Australia - I think planes are like church for me and I’m much more like my father than I ever wanted to be. Running away from life to “gain perspective.”
Faking it is just another form of manipulation and I can’t stand being manipulated. So I keep on faking it and wait. I do what I can and I wait. Case one day I’m just going to stop faking. I will fall to the sand, feeling it give under my weight and open my arms and scream. Everyone has their own catharsis but I still haven’t found absolution.
Muse: Jack Shephard
Fandom: LOST
Word Count: 347
When we first crashed I felt like I was expected to be this leader. That’s the role I had whether it was all me or everyone else I don’t know. There I was with no idea what the hell to do and so I faked it. Of course it wasn’t really new to me to fake it outside of the OR. That’s what I’ve been doing most of my life. Acting like I knew what I doing. Sitting by a pool in Hawaii with a bottle of vodka in my hands reading Sarah’s vows. Trying to fly a kite in Thailand to absolve myself of sins I couldn’t even acknowledge. Sitting in front of the board of directors and staying silent. “Children should be seen and not heard, Jack.” Boarding a plane to Australia - I think planes are like church for me and I’m much more like my father than I ever wanted to be. Running away from life to “gain perspective.”
Faking it is just another form of manipulation and I can’t stand being manipulated. So I keep on faking it and wait. I do what I can and I wait. Case one day I’m just going to stop faking. I will fall to the sand, feeling it give under my weight and open my arms and scream. Everyone has their own catharsis but I still haven’t found absolution.
Muse: Jack Shephard
Fandom: LOST
Word Count: 347