put your fears away...
im okay.
well, so far.
for those of you who i might have mentioned that i was in the hospital, or who have heard, this entry is to clear your minds.
on thursday night, around 7:30 i was hanging out with joe and i got horrible "cramps" and i figuared it was just my period (sorry to be graphic boys) so i told him i had to go home, but then when i got behind the wheel realized i was becoming light headed and in so much pain so i went back inside and got him and asked him to please drive my car home. so he drove me home and brig drove him back to carol stream. when i got home i told my mom i had horrible cramps and just needed to lay down for an hour or so then i wanted to go out. i laid down with a heating pad, and brig called when she was back home and i said "ill be okay to go out in about a half hour" so she came by, once she came by i realized i wasnt going to be okay to go out and instead we settled on a night of movies. we put in "sideways" and watched the movie. i noticed i coludnt walk and felt almost paralyzed from the neck down. when the movie finally ended and i got that sensation that i needed to throw up, so i got up and as best as i could walked to the bathroom. i couldnt throw up and instead fell over on the bathroom floor. i screemed for brig to get my mom. my mom came down and saw that i was ghost white and not making much sence. my dad came down then and it was agreed i would go to the hospital, while trying to walk to the car i collapsed and my dad had to carry me to the car.
after many tests, the doctor told me that i had a cyst a little bit bigger than a golf ball in my right ovary. it had ruptured which means the fluid inside the cyst was sent all over my body causing the pain. i could barely breathe, and i felt REaLLY fat. after all the tests it was about 3:30 in the morning, and i was finally going to be admitted into a normal hospital room. i woke up friday morning and both my parents were gone. i didnt think anything of it and fell back asleep. when i woke up again i heard my mom on the phone and she was saying "we have bad news...she passed away, i know i know, i havent told sarah yet..." for those of you who knew, my aunt beany, one of my aunts that i was very close with, had a flesh eating disease, she was only 47 and friday morning it took her life. because of all the pain, crying made my abdomen hurt even more, so it was very hard to morne for my aunt.
friday i was supposed to be released and i wasnt. i watched movies and was feeling much better, saturday morning rolled around and the doctor came to talk to me and said it was okay for me to go. i was REALLY excited to be released on saturday because that night was kates graduation party and i was so excited i would be able to go.
when i got home the pain was still there but not nearly as severe. i started to try and get ready, i got very frusterated because of all the liquids in my abdomen i was very bloated and couldnt fit into my cloths (it will take about four days until im back to my normal figuar) i was walking up and down stairs alomst pretending i was okay. and then the pain hit me. i again buckeled over and couldnt walk, i had the same paralyzed feeling from my neck down. i talked myself into saying i was okay, but my parents didnt beleive me. i became pale again and couldnt walk without fainting. i didnt want to go back to the hospital, but i knew i had to.
when i got back there, i was scared, i was afraid they would tell me its worse then it was before. something like cancer or something horrible like that. well, the cyst was worse. it had grown, and ruptured again. but i would be okay. they gave me vicadin for the pain, and all the nurses had rememberd me and were really nice. they didnt make me stay the night, i was released at 4 am. and right now im feeling "okay"
everyones been so supportive through all this and im so thankful to god that i have the people i have in my life.
so now im just waiting it out, cysts are supposed to be absorbed in ur body, and the doctors said if i rest thats what will happen. if not they will operate.
anyway. thanks to anyone who has been there for me, ya'll are wonderful =)