this is a self pep talk...
i dont know why i endure joes shit, i dont get it, but im done with it.
if this post is going to make you sick, dont read it, i havent given myself credit in a long time, and i need to.
joe is scummy, he has no manners, yes hes a gentleman but to put it at its very least, hes taken the gentle out of gentleman, and turned it all into a chore.
i am not an object, i am not a chore, i am not a last 'option', and i am DEFFINATLY not an excuse. i grew up in a good family, i have manners, i have class, i'm healthy, i am in shape, and it wouldnt hurt to say im not ugly. yet for the past two months ive only heard that i look good twice, ive only heard that i have a good body when he wants to get it on, and ive been told i am fat, ugly, white trash, annoying, ridiculing, and ive been brutally put off, ignored, and blown off. and yet i still pay for him when we go out, i still pick his drunk ass up at 11:00, i pick him up from school, but at his convenience...i call him drunk, he hangs up on me...i call him upset he takes the other persons side.
this is over.
to be realistic tho, this is going to suck and its going to be very hard for me to be strong...joe has kept me on a fish hook, as badly as i want to get away, i just cant...he leaves me hanging, he dangles the bait and i bite, but he wont reel me in....(good analogy!) well unless he gets down on his hands and knees and does something miraculous, then the world of me and joe has to end, part of me doesnt want it to and part of me of course wants him so bad to crawl back just so i can take him back....but i know in my heart i cant take him back, i know in my heart that ive endured to much, i know im better than this, i know i can get better and i deserve better. someone take my phone away and dont let me call him, please.
i let people walk all over me, and its time for me to get up.
if this post is going to make you sick, dont read it, i havent given myself credit in a long time, and i need to.
joe is scummy, he has no manners, yes hes a gentleman but to put it at its very least, hes taken the gentle out of gentleman, and turned it all into a chore.
i am not an object, i am not a chore, i am not a last 'option', and i am DEFFINATLY not an excuse. i grew up in a good family, i have manners, i have class, i'm healthy, i am in shape, and it wouldnt hurt to say im not ugly. yet for the past two months ive only heard that i look good twice, ive only heard that i have a good body when he wants to get it on, and ive been told i am fat, ugly, white trash, annoying, ridiculing, and ive been brutally put off, ignored, and blown off. and yet i still pay for him when we go out, i still pick his drunk ass up at 11:00, i pick him up from school, but at his convenience...i call him drunk, he hangs up on me...i call him upset he takes the other persons side.
this is over.
to be realistic tho, this is going to suck and its going to be very hard for me to be strong...joe has kept me on a fish hook, as badly as i want to get away, i just cant...he leaves me hanging, he dangles the bait and i bite, but he wont reel me in....(good analogy!) well unless he gets down on his hands and knees and does something miraculous, then the world of me and joe has to end, part of me doesnt want it to and part of me of course wants him so bad to crawl back just so i can take him back....but i know in my heart i cant take him back, i know in my heart that ive endured to much, i know im better than this, i know i can get better and i deserve better. someone take my phone away and dont let me call him, please.
i let people walk all over me, and its time for me to get up.