To love myself....the way other people see me...is an experience to say the least....
I'm looking around my room, I am thinking about my life, and I know that there are so many things that I'm not doing right. I know that I could be doing better. But then I remember I'm only 22. I turn 23 in December, and I realize I still don't have to have it all right. It's like Avenue Q....just wait for that moment when your purpose and ambitions make sense and all systems go. For now I just gotta live and see where that takes me.
I love who I've become- I think that I've concluded that I have been so stressed before was not only because of school but because of the extra-curricular I like to call Drama. I've sperated myself from guilt and pain and negativity. I mean those things happen occasionally but I feel like they are for more grown up reasons. That's it....I finally feel like a grown up.....not too old. I still feel youthful. I just feel like every step I take is one for purpose and direction.
Can I also say that I think that I have finally hit a peak in my singing. We complain about opera scenes and yes the rehearsals suck. But I always seem to forget how great it feels to have your face hurt from smiling so much from the "Great Job"s and the "Your voice is amazing"s When it comes down to it, making an audience member happy is the job that I want to pursue in life so much. And I forget that. I love that feeling.
As complicated as life can be, I feel free. I feel focused and ready. I'm not sure for what
I've been feeling so creative. I'm writing music, I am writing lyrics....poems- stories....
I feel like I have everything that I need now...I don't feel as though my wants and desires take over my emotions. I have come to grips that a relationship is probably not a priority....and I'm nto as sad about not having someone. I'm not as confused...rather content without knowing....
I can't help but think sometimes, how did I get here, where I am now....but then.....does it really even matter if I'm perfectly happy.....
I love who I've become- I think that I've concluded that I have been so stressed before was not only because of school but because of the extra-curricular I like to call Drama. I've sperated myself from guilt and pain and negativity. I mean those things happen occasionally but I feel like they are for more grown up reasons. That's it....I finally feel like a grown up.....not too old. I still feel youthful. I just feel like every step I take is one for purpose and direction.
Can I also say that I think that I have finally hit a peak in my singing. We complain about opera scenes and yes the rehearsals suck. But I always seem to forget how great it feels to have your face hurt from smiling so much from the "Great Job"s and the "Your voice is amazing"s When it comes down to it, making an audience member happy is the job that I want to pursue in life so much. And I forget that. I love that feeling.
As complicated as life can be, I feel free. I feel focused and ready. I'm not sure for what
I've been feeling so creative. I'm writing music, I am writing lyrics....poems- stories....
I feel like I have everything that I need now...I don't feel as though my wants and desires take over my emotions. I have come to grips that a relationship is probably not a priority....and I'm nto as sad about not having someone. I'm not as confused...rather content without knowing....
I can't help but think sometimes, how did I get here, where I am now....but then.....does it really even matter if I'm perfectly happy.....