Obligatory App Post
Character: Charlotte "Chuck" Charles
Series: Pushing Daisies
Age: 28 years, 2 weeks, 3 days, 11 hours, and 51 minutes
Job: Second-Life Advisor
Canon: Young Ned was 9 years, 27 weeks, 6 days and 3 minutes old when he discovered that he had an unusual talent: with one touch he could restore life to the dead, and with another they were returned to their lifeless state forever. Furthermore, he learned that if he should allow the restored life to carry on for more than a minute, something else in the general vicinity would have to die in its place. The young boy grew up to be the Pie-Maker, and the Pie-Maker lived a quiet life of making pies and waking the dead - but only for a minute so as to find out who or what may have caused their untimely demise. All that changed, however, with the news that Lonely Tourist Charlotte Charles had been murdered.
The facts were these: Charlotte Charles - whom the Pie-Maker called "Chuck" - had been a neighbour of young Ned's. Tragedy had led Chuck to live a sheltered life, chained to a close proximity by her love and devotion towards her two aunts with matching social phobias. And though tragedy had struck again in the form of her murder, the girl named Chuck faced her (second) life with a renewed sense of self. Perky and spirited with a love for learning, a thirst for adventure, and a willingness to take risks and really live life, Chuck is finally able to unleash her hurricane personality upon the world. Fast-talking, witty, and a walking encyclopedia, the alive-again girl has a tendency to be pushy and steamroll others in conversations, often monologuing at length in a slightly self-centered fashion. But in truth she is kind-hearted, wanting to help those who were not as lucky as her to fulfill their last wishes or requests before their minute is up.
Sample Post:
I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but this wasn't exactly what I'd imagined when I was told transportation would be provided to CFUD: Campgrounds Fostering Undead Denizens. If I had known what was in store, I would have found a way to very nicely and politely decline the offer, but well... it is kind of a cute gimmick for a "Second-Life Advisor" to be introduced to the campers right out of a coffin, so I guess I can't be too mad. I did arrive here in one piece after all, and that's the best anyone can ask for! Oh, it looks like you weren't quite as lucky as me though. Here, let me help you get that arm-- no, don't worry, I've helped one of my aunts pop her arm back in her socket once so this should be a snap-- there we go! Good as new! Okay, maybe not quite as good as new, but I'm afraid there's nothing I can really do about that considering your... advanced condition.
You know, I read about this in a book once. All this fascinating hoodoo stuff going on in Louisiana, where some powerful sorcerer uses a strange brewed concoction that renders his victims all zombie-like with a total lack of willpower and the inability to speak coherently. And then they're forced to carry out their master's evil bidding, lurching and moaning, completely unaware of the situation! Isn't that just so neat? Oh, I'm sorry, that probably wasn't very sensitive of me was it, since I guess all of you would be said victims. But don't worry, I'll be here the whole time to hold your hand and support you through your second chance at life! I mean, think about it! How many people get an opportunity like this? We have to seize the day - Carpe diem! - and make the most of this!
Alright, everyone who has any regrets or unfulfilled desires raise your hand... or any other appendages that you still happen to possess, that works too! Anyway, there's no time more perfect than right now to act on these feelings. Think of it this way: you've overcome death, and there's really nothing scarier than that, is there? So - and this is just an example - if you ever harboured feelings for someone but felt for some inexplicable reason that you couldn't confess to them before, you absolutely could and can and should do it right this instant! If they cared for you in a really meaningful way they'd be able to look past your slightly splotchy complexion and lack of certain facial features and see what's really there deep, down inside! No, I didn't mean your organs, you can put those back; I'm talking about the unique and extraordinary personality that makes you, well... YOU. Braaaiiiins? Exactly! I'm sure whoever it is you're pining after will certainly appreciate your brains as well, so make sure to spruce it up with lots of great conversational topics! Here, you can practice on me right now!
Hmm, I think we're going to have to work on everyone's diction a bit, but it's nothing we can't fix with a little time and a lot of practice! Just remember that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity - ironic as that may sound! It's a great chance for you to hang on to everything you like about yourself, and get rid of all the things you don't, so let's get started--
AAAHH! I didn't mean that literally! Now if everyone would please line up in an orderly fashion to come reclaim their various body parts, I'd really appreciate that.
100%. I am flabbergasted. Thank you to my awesome betas ♥