i'm a good friend
Do u ever feel completely helpless to the world around you? Like you can see yourself sinking but you just aren't doing anything to save yourself? I feel like that most days... I know it's happening. I know all the right answers. I know all the smart decisions. I can resist everything but temptation. Things that don't even make me happy are thrilling me just to be on the ride of this crazy-spinning-up-down-awkward-jump-start-stalling world I choose to live in. I know I am ultimately the reason for everything that happens in my life. I just need something... something so new... something so different. I want to be alone. I want to be with everyone who is no one and no one who is anyone. I should take a vacation from everything. It's been long overdue. Who should I take this vacay from? I'm not quite sure but if you think it should be you, you're probably right. I wonder what would happen if I just stopped answering calls, helf of my so-called friends wouldn't even notice, or care enough to notice that something isn't right. The other half would think I was mad at them bc they really don't know this part of me. I feel so stressed over NOTHING. Isn't that ridiculous? The only thing I should focus on is school and waking up for work on time. So here it is... a blurb of what goes on in my mind at 1:11am!