Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight
For the first time in a long time I feel like there is no one to talk to. All these things I have to say and no one to share them with. Opinions, theories, ideals, goals, past, present, future... so many topics just bouncing around in my head and I have no one to sit on the phone with. No one to lay next to and be so stupid with that it doesn't even matter, cause you know no matter what, they will never think any less of you... I've had friends like that, I've had boyfriends like that... I've always had someone. I still have people close to me that I consider my best friends, but these people have never been the people I've gone to about these things, maybe because I feel like they haven't experienced it yet, or maybe it's just me... I've grown apart from so many people I wish I was still close to.
It takes a lot for me to physically get ill when I think about someone. It's only happened with one person and it took a lot to get over. This feeling, I don't know, it's different. I'm not sick all the time like I was before... just sick when I think about the past, the things I allowed to happen and why I allowed it. I've been fooled. You played me for a fool. There's no reason for him to get a big head though, afterall, it wasn't love. If I were in love with him I would be sick right now. It makes me sick to think I could do that with you. Someone who will way no importance in my life whatsoever after he is out of it. I didn't have to love him for that though, I just had to believe he was who I thought he was. Surprise... HE ISN'T! So much for a caring, fun guy. I feel like I've disrespected myself in so many ways when I think about the time I spent, no, wasted on you.
Shame on me.
It takes a lot for me to physically get ill when I think about someone. It's only happened with one person and it took a lot to get over. This feeling, I don't know, it's different. I'm not sick all the time like I was before... just sick when I think about the past, the things I allowed to happen and why I allowed it. I've been fooled. You played me for a fool. There's no reason for him to get a big head though, afterall, it wasn't love. If I were in love with him I would be sick right now. It makes me sick to think I could do that with you. Someone who will way no importance in my life whatsoever after he is out of it. I didn't have to love him for that though, I just had to believe he was who I thought he was. Surprise... HE ISN'T! So much for a caring, fun guy. I feel like I've disrespected myself in so many ways when I think about the time I spent, no, wasted on you.
Shame on me.