An open letter to CAD
Dear Tim Buckley,
Alright, listen. I am a fan of your comic. I like Ethan and Lilah and Lucas and that chick Lucas is banging. But, I like it even more when they talk about video games. Do you remember when you used to do that? Do you remember Players 1, 2, 3 and 4? Or the crazy chef? Or when Ethan and Lucas got into all sort of crazy hijinks?
Look. I'm not saying it isn't awesome that your characters have real lives that include working and whatever, or that they're ~growing. It was awesome when Ethan proposed and Lilah was pregnant and everything. I was super amped for a little gamerbb. But then she had a miscarriage, and Lucas broke up with...Kate?, and Lilah moved out and Lucas punched Zeke and Lilah's ex made a move on her and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH fucking BLAH. Oh my gooooood. Okay, I don't know if you were on your period or something, but pretty much you went from Happy Harry to Debbie Downer in like ten seconds. And not even in small, measured doses. Everyone's lives turned into a huge clusterfuck all at once. I dreaded checking your site, because I hoped something good would happen, but ultimately each comic made me want to curl up in an oven and take a nap.
BUT, it got better. Lilah got rid of the ex. And she and Ethan eloped in... whatever island you sent them to. Which seemed very "end-of-a-romantic-comedy" to me. And then Ethan got a fucking business handed to him. Apparently you don't know what real life is, or you just don't give a shit. When someone's life is a shitfest, they SHOULD get all the luck in the world. But they don't. They don't get crap tossed in thier lap for slacking off. And, it's kind of unfair to everyone ever if his life goes from 'millions of dollars in casino debt and about to get his hands broken' to 'hit the jackpot and is about to bone a three thousand dollar a night escort'.
Lucas had the right idea. I'd be pissed as hell, too, if my crazy ass friend was a nut job 99% of the time and managed to fuck a genie and get everything handed to them. But then you had to go and make Lucas seem like a jerkoff for not wanting to work for Lucky Charms. The reason Ethan was shitting himself is because no one SHOULD go from working as a cashier at a thriving business to owning the store overnight. It's bullshit. The very notion is rediculous. And it's pretty much a slap in the face for every person who's ever built a business from the ground up.
But now, it's all sorted out. Ethan will stop being a tard, Lucas will stop being a pussy, and there will be a real marriage. Please. Dear god, please. No more real life bullshit. That's the very reason people read comics. To take a break from the real world. And make it funny again, if you don't mind. Raised eyebrows does not a joke make.
Love,
Summer
PS: Maybe you could take a break from your constant stream of useless twitters and clean up your site? I'd rather be able to load your site in under ten fucking minutes than read about you install your bloody hardwood floors. You know what would have made the installation a lot easier and faster? Not updating your twitter an hour after you told us you were about to install it to tell us what kind of wood it was. No one gives a shit.
Alright, listen. I am a fan of your comic. I like Ethan and Lilah and Lucas and that chick Lucas is banging. But, I like it even more when they talk about video games. Do you remember when you used to do that? Do you remember Players 1, 2, 3 and 4? Or the crazy chef? Or when Ethan and Lucas got into all sort of crazy hijinks?
Look. I'm not saying it isn't awesome that your characters have real lives that include working and whatever, or that they're ~growing. It was awesome when Ethan proposed and Lilah was pregnant and everything. I was super amped for a little gamerbb. But then she had a miscarriage, and Lucas broke up with...Kate?, and Lilah moved out and Lucas punched Zeke and Lilah's ex made a move on her and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH fucking BLAH. Oh my gooooood. Okay, I don't know if you were on your period or something, but pretty much you went from Happy Harry to Debbie Downer in like ten seconds. And not even in small, measured doses. Everyone's lives turned into a huge clusterfuck all at once. I dreaded checking your site, because I hoped something good would happen, but ultimately each comic made me want to curl up in an oven and take a nap.
BUT, it got better. Lilah got rid of the ex. And she and Ethan eloped in... whatever island you sent them to. Which seemed very "end-of-a-romantic-comedy" to me. And then Ethan got a fucking business handed to him. Apparently you don't know what real life is, or you just don't give a shit. When someone's life is a shitfest, they SHOULD get all the luck in the world. But they don't. They don't get crap tossed in thier lap for slacking off. And, it's kind of unfair to everyone ever if his life goes from 'millions of dollars in casino debt and about to get his hands broken' to 'hit the jackpot and is about to bone a three thousand dollar a night escort'.
Lucas had the right idea. I'd be pissed as hell, too, if my crazy ass friend was a nut job 99% of the time and managed to fuck a genie and get everything handed to them. But then you had to go and make Lucas seem like a jerkoff for not wanting to work for Lucky Charms. The reason Ethan was shitting himself is because no one SHOULD go from working as a cashier at a thriving business to owning the store overnight. It's bullshit. The very notion is rediculous. And it's pretty much a slap in the face for every person who's ever built a business from the ground up.
But now, it's all sorted out. Ethan will stop being a tard, Lucas will stop being a pussy, and there will be a real marriage. Please. Dear god, please. No more real life bullshit. That's the very reason people read comics. To take a break from the real world. And make it funny again, if you don't mind. Raised eyebrows does not a joke make.
Love,
Summer
PS: Maybe you could take a break from your constant stream of useless twitters and clean up your site? I'd rather be able to load your site in under ten fucking minutes than read about you install your bloody hardwood floors. You know what would have made the installation a lot easier and faster? Not updating your twitter an hour after you told us you were about to install it to tell us what kind of wood it was. No one gives a shit.