(no subject)
Why did I have to text you, call you, yell at you, chase you, and then place myself in your path
in order for you to talk to me
i dont get texting on my phone, so i didnt know you cared until you called. i think we talked on the phone. then i was just upset at everyone for not trusting me. even matthias had to talk to me thru the car window. because i was getting really paranoid.
i had also cut back smoking on friday, and saturday i had only had 1 cig. so i may have been more irritable than normal .
to me it's not just an issue of how irritable you were
I want to know why when you wanted your keys
Matthias came to talk to me instead of you
because id already asked you for my keys. you said you didnt have them on you, i asked you for them you said no. i told matthias not to go ask for them. i was fine sleeping in my car. but he didnt want me to sleep there alone in the cold so he took it upon himself to get them for me.
i told him not to. i was fine in my car. we even talked about how we both keep sleeping bags in our cars
i knew i had caused enough drama. i just wanted things to cool.
so Matthias told you he was gonna get and give you the keys
i told him i wasnt going in, unless i had my keys.
what did Matthias say to that
he asked why. i told him, he offered me a room by myself, i said i just wanted my keys. he asked if i'd feel better if he was the one that had my keys, he went inside then said that you guys didnt thrust him not to give me said keys. then he went back inside. next i remember is he was giving me my keys.
Currently Sam I blame you for one of my best friends accusing me of not trusting him
When the reason I wasn't giving him the keys was because I didn't and don't know why you couldn't trust me
i asked for my keys and you didnt give them to me. i'm sorry that matthias got brought onto the issue. i've appologised repeatedly. there really is nothing that i can do... or is there? because if there is, let me know and i'll do it
Just answer questions and we will probably be friends again eventually
Don't, avoid, or lie about them
and we won't
i'm a straight forward person. i've never lied to you, i dont see why i'd start now
Why would Matthias having the keys make you more comfortable than me having the keys
because i knew he'd spend the night.. or at least try to spend the night with me so when i wanted to leave i wouldnt have to wander thru the house looking for them or waking others up to get my kkeys
9:21pm
so you feel that knocking on my door when you needed to leave was a big issue
or telling me you needed to leave by a certain time.....
well its still going. but once he threw out the "maybe we can be friends eventually" comment i gave up. honesly i'm not in the habit of begging for friends. i am however used to loosing them. i didnt give two hoots when i couldnt talk to shayna... but why has this bothered me so. why am i so upset to lose paul as a friend?
also i have been smoke free for 1 day 16 hrs and 30 minutes.