man
Greetings. I'm in Toronto, all is well.
The train ride down was very dull. As I was waiting around at home to leave, my spiritual guide said "DAN! YOU REALLY SHOULD GO.. YOU GOTTA LINE UP OR ELSE YOU WILL HAVE TO SIT WITH SOME CRAPPY PERSON AND NOT GET A WINDOW SEAT!" And so I rushed out the door, double fisting some crumbling giant sandwiches.
I ended up being 5/6 of the way back in a giant lineup. Who knew all these chumps wanted to go to Toronto on a random weekday at noon? I got on and there was no empty window seat. And I spotted a man with tight clothes and a bleached faux-hawk so I asked to sit beside him. He gestured indifferently.
After my first glance I was too "good" to look over and gawk at him. I could see that he had white-blond hair with a Cathy Strauss-like faux hawk and a tight retro jogger's jacket and beige capri pants. And I thought, "I wonder if he's..??" Even though it seemed fairly plain. BUT he was going "back" to Toronto, so who knows. He had yet to utter a word, effeminate or otherwise--not that it's the deciding factor, of course.
I sat and read and repaired some of my clothes (Kate Hudson's blue t-shirt--we're back in business!). I listened to this man. He was just reading a red-covered book, but I was too bashful to look at what it was. Then, he sneezed in an overly gruff manner. I thought "perhaps this is a leftover from before he came out of the closet? Sneezes are involuntary and very much formed in early youth..they are hard to change." Then, he even cleared his throat in an extremely masculine, deep-voiced manner. I kept trying to imagine his voice, would it be a crazy baritone one? That would be insane..
Finally, his cellphone rang, and he started talking in the gayest manner ever. "Heyyy [effeminate] .. yeah I'm on the train.. [sucks teeth in sulky manner].. what why are you going to Dover? What's there..? [sucks teeth].."
And that's when he took out his laptop and started watching an episode of AB-FAB..
The train ride down was very dull. As I was waiting around at home to leave, my spiritual guide said "DAN! YOU REALLY SHOULD GO.. YOU GOTTA LINE UP OR ELSE YOU WILL HAVE TO SIT WITH SOME CRAPPY PERSON AND NOT GET A WINDOW SEAT!" And so I rushed out the door, double fisting some crumbling giant sandwiches.
I ended up being 5/6 of the way back in a giant lineup. Who knew all these chumps wanted to go to Toronto on a random weekday at noon? I got on and there was no empty window seat. And I spotted a man with tight clothes and a bleached faux-hawk so I asked to sit beside him. He gestured indifferently.
After my first glance I was too "good" to look over and gawk at him. I could see that he had white-blond hair with a Cathy Strauss-like faux hawk and a tight retro jogger's jacket and beige capri pants. And I thought, "I wonder if he's..??" Even though it seemed fairly plain. BUT he was going "back" to Toronto, so who knows. He had yet to utter a word, effeminate or otherwise--not that it's the deciding factor, of course.
I sat and read and repaired some of my clothes (Kate Hudson's blue t-shirt--we're back in business!). I listened to this man. He was just reading a red-covered book, but I was too bashful to look at what it was. Then, he sneezed in an overly gruff manner. I thought "perhaps this is a leftover from before he came out of the closet? Sneezes are involuntary and very much formed in early youth..they are hard to change." Then, he even cleared his throat in an extremely masculine, deep-voiced manner. I kept trying to imagine his voice, would it be a crazy baritone one? That would be insane..
Finally, his cellphone rang, and he started talking in the gayest manner ever. "Heyyy [effeminate] .. yeah I'm on the train.. [sucks teeth in sulky manner].. what why are you going to Dover? What's there..? [sucks teeth].."
And that's when he took out his laptop and started watching an episode of AB-FAB..