Standing alone I wait for a break in the line, who is my victim, who do I take out to stop it all.
Today sucked. I didn't get to see Taira at the college at all, I wish I did. I am so depressed, and I don't really know why. Taira and Amber came over again today. Amber was in a hurry to leave all day. I didnt want them to go. I wanted to be with Taira. After they left my dad and I got mad at each other over stupid things. He is pissed for some stupid reason so he takes it out on me. I really like Taira, and I dont know why I am spilling this out onto this online journal. I am probably going to get a lot of heat for this entry but I dont care. I mean she is the only reason I am still going to Ozfest. I know I have only known her for a short while, but I really care about her, and everytime she leaves I get really upset for some reason, and that has never happened with anyone. My dad could leave town and not come back (not just saying this because im mad) and I wouldnt really feel all that down about it, but everytime she leaves I get this strange depressing feeling, but when i see her its lifted and I feel happy.I dont like pain, I dont like depression. Right now I want to open a bottle of Vodka, get drunk and let myself go into the abyss, I want to let myself fall into the darkness and not return, a permanent sleep. Why can't I just be happy for once, why does something always have to crush me right when things seem to be getting better. I never get a head in life, as much as I try, I never seem to be able to pull myself out of a hole that consumes me. I really miss Taira... Well, I will let everyone get back to what they were doing. Shoot me. Bye.