(no subject)
I finished putting up my christmas tree this week. the living room is still full of the boxes that the stuff came in and frankly i'm thinking of just leaving them out until its time to take the stuff down.
hold on. I'lll be right back.
that's better. I literally just got up, went to one of the afore mentioned boxes, removed a package of ornaments, and threw them in the trash. i haven't put them on a tree in years, but i've been holding on to them for all this time? for what? for that part of my life to relive itself. For time to reverse itself and give me the future i almost had? no. that's done. over trash. and i'm tired of holding on to something thats never going to happen.
but it's so hard sometimes to keep starting over. when do i get t o stop doing this? or is this just part of the magic that is me? Is impermanence my constant?
These holidays are going to be a little hard. this year....at least i have the show to keep me busy. keep my mind occupied.
because there in the background, is detroit. starting over again. either in a new place, which i hate or a new job, which i don't have.
just when i thought maybe i had something to hold onto gain...it's all just so much sparkly trash.
hold on. I'lll be right back.
that's better. I literally just got up, went to one of the afore mentioned boxes, removed a package of ornaments, and threw them in the trash. i haven't put them on a tree in years, but i've been holding on to them for all this time? for what? for that part of my life to relive itself. For time to reverse itself and give me the future i almost had? no. that's done. over trash. and i'm tired of holding on to something thats never going to happen.
but it's so hard sometimes to keep starting over. when do i get t o stop doing this? or is this just part of the magic that is me? Is impermanence my constant?
These holidays are going to be a little hard. this year....at least i have the show to keep me busy. keep my mind occupied.
because there in the background, is detroit. starting over again. either in a new place, which i hate or a new job, which i don't have.
just when i thought maybe i had something to hold onto gain...it's all just so much sparkly trash.