(no subject)
I feel the need to state things plainly; to use small words and concise description so that I only have to go over an idea one time. When I need to tackle a complex topic, I break it down into small bite size morsels. Each idea then has its own clear flavor and I layer those simple flavors like a chef. In the end there is a mouthful of deliciousness where you can enjoy the complexities and also understand the minutia of the flavors. You never have to ask where the herby flavor is coming from because I already told you about the fresh basil.
Or to say it more clearly, I tell stories in layers, like an onion, or a parfait, or a reference to the first Shrek movie. It makes for interesting stories or at least entertaining story telling. My problem is that sometimes it takes me a while to figure out just how to break it down into the layers needed to tell a particular story.
Reading on my lunch break today, I came across this line. “I try to find a simple expression for my ideas. I figure if there is none, the ideas must be wrong.”
I’ve been unable to tell a particular story. For years I’ve struggled with how to compartmentalize it- how to put it into bite size morsels that can be easily swallowed. I’ve been worried that I’ll tell it wrong and no one will understand. I am fixated with getting this one just right. If I get it wrong I could end up telling a different story, or an unbelievable story, or just an uninteresting story.
Stories come with a point of view and readers only get one side of things. Even an omniscient narrator only gives us the story through one set of eyes. (or at least one set of eyes at a time.) So I know that any story I tell is just one way to tell it, and while it may be my truth, it won’t be the whole truth. Part of me knows this. I don’t listen to that part. She’s a bitch.
If I am concerned with telling a story simply, then I am obsessed with it being true. So when I ran across this quote earlier today I took it completely out of its cosmology context and applied it to my inability to tell the story in just the right way. If I have to tell the truth and I have to tell it simply and can’t do either, then what? Is this my answer? If there is no simple way to tell the story, its just not true. The idea is wrong. I am wrong.
I’ve been looking for the right way to tell this story for so long now and I’m starting to think I have been wasting my time. Maybe there were a hundred others stories I could be telling in the meantime. Maybe this is the universe showing me it’s time to get busy with other things.
Or…
Maybe I should reverse engineer this story and start with my nugget of truth and build the layers from the inside out.
Maybe I should do less writing about writing and thinking about writing and just do some writing.
Or…