I'm standing on the edge of everything I've never been before...
I wasn't even at home for a full night. well not like my house or even near it for a full night. and yet, nostalgia hit hard.
it was a culmination and a combination. things freshly past mixed with things never again to be present. I was wearing lucky (all I had my my house) and immediately thought of junior year Christmas. then by chance I picked a random CD and put it in and it happened to be northstar. my association with lucky blurred from christmas into the northstar concert and a night that soon followed, a night at Hood's Airport. I drove down jones on my way to starbucks and passed the spot I associate with late night music talks with bryan. I almost pulled into the lot just to sit for a minute. I decided I didn't have time, so I headed to starbucks and by chance cute starbucks boy was there. curly hair and all. my thoughts rushed to halloween and all the other afternoons and evenings rach and I spent there studying for school and studying his "freshly-read" appearance. I drove out of town and found myself on 249... a highway but not 290, the one I needed to be on. I treated it as a surprise from fate so I kept going. as I passed cars I remembered my many drives out to tomball and passing holderrieth dragged me to remember the journey reunion now almost exactly 2 years ago. the gym is still as vivid in my mind as the room I'm in now. I drove to 2920 and then cut to 290 right before where it hit highway 6. I drove past the drive-in theater and remembered my 18th birthday party and my fun 50's outfit and when I hit kickapoo I was overwhelmed by memories. retreats, drives with rachel, the trees, the sunsets. I miss so much and yet it all feels right this way. the entire way back to college station I blared my music, sipped starbucks and sang at the top of my lungs. it was strangely good to be alone and yet I longed so bad to have a familiar face in the seat next to me..
part of me needs to be alone... or rather longs for it. but I promised john about half an hour ago that I'd come hang out in his room with everyone, so I need to go. I just had to write because it's very rare these days that I get the urge to and it's even more rare that I have the time to write when the urge hits.
I miss you. yes, you.
it was a culmination and a combination. things freshly past mixed with things never again to be present. I was wearing lucky (all I had my my house) and immediately thought of junior year Christmas. then by chance I picked a random CD and put it in and it happened to be northstar. my association with lucky blurred from christmas into the northstar concert and a night that soon followed, a night at Hood's Airport. I drove down jones on my way to starbucks and passed the spot I associate with late night music talks with bryan. I almost pulled into the lot just to sit for a minute. I decided I didn't have time, so I headed to starbucks and by chance cute starbucks boy was there. curly hair and all. my thoughts rushed to halloween and all the other afternoons and evenings rach and I spent there studying for school and studying his "freshly-read" appearance. I drove out of town and found myself on 249... a highway but not 290, the one I needed to be on. I treated it as a surprise from fate so I kept going. as I passed cars I remembered my many drives out to tomball and passing holderrieth dragged me to remember the journey reunion now almost exactly 2 years ago. the gym is still as vivid in my mind as the room I'm in now. I drove to 2920 and then cut to 290 right before where it hit highway 6. I drove past the drive-in theater and remembered my 18th birthday party and my fun 50's outfit and when I hit kickapoo I was overwhelmed by memories. retreats, drives with rachel, the trees, the sunsets. I miss so much and yet it all feels right this way. the entire way back to college station I blared my music, sipped starbucks and sang at the top of my lungs. it was strangely good to be alone and yet I longed so bad to have a familiar face in the seat next to me..
part of me needs to be alone... or rather longs for it. but I promised john about half an hour ago that I'd come hang out in his room with everyone, so I need to go. I just had to write because it's very rare these days that I get the urge to and it's even more rare that I have the time to write when the urge hits.
I miss you. yes, you.