(no subject)
music: lifehouse, our lady peace, lit
I think I spend waaay too much time at Barnes & Noble. I can literally sit there for hours just reading random things, without getting bored. Alone, too. Maybe that's weird ... I don't really know. I guess I just enjoy my own company a lot, so it's not a bad thing. I lose contact with people easily because of that, though. Enjoying solitude ends up making me feel kind of lonely--ironic, much? ... Or maybe I'm just thinking a little too much since I'm getting sleepy. I also think my stereo is possessed. It keeps turning itself on and off, and there's only like five cds in the cd changer thing and it chooses random songs from random cds all on its own. It's not even on shuffle or anything.
I don't really miss school anymore. The first few days of winter break were kind of brutal. I was so bored and all I wanted to do was see people from school. I mean, I still would love to visit and see everyone from SU, but I'm really enjoying break. I've settled into the routine of being at home and basically doing ... nothing? The change is probably what depresses me usually. Any big change just takes a really short time to get used to and then I'm fine. Same thing will happen when it's time to go back. It will be so nice to see everyone, though!
I wrote another song on my piano. I still think it's weird that I'm enjoying playing it. I started playing more often a few months ago ... actually, at the honors house at school. I think it helped that the people there actually enjoyed it, though. My parents like it and all, but they became apathetic once I let them know that I would not be pursuing classical piano professionally. I've been playing a whole lot of contemporary stuff and popular music, too. Classical is different, though, in sooo many ways. It's not harder ... it might be easier, actually. I just stopped playing it. I stopped once the lessons ended. I hated it for a while .. but now I love it again!!! I played ridiculous amounts of Chopin and Grieg today! It was amazing. Sometimes, though, it makes me think of Mrs. Ana, and then I get so, so sad ... She was a really good teacher. When she passed away this past November, it didn't really hit me for a long while. I found out early and I didn't want to be needy so I just kept it to myself mostly. Maybe I should have been more open about it. I bet I seemed like such a horrible friend because I was so closed off for that whole month. November sucked really, really bad.
Tomorrow I have to go to brunch with my mom and her friends. Joy. Not. But one of them has a birthday so maybe it will be fun! My mom asked me to go out and get her a few nice birthday presents because she's lost so much this past year. Her home burned down and her health is deteriorating, so I bet this birthday is really special. I got her a bunch of bath and body stuff from Victoria's Secret, a massage at Alchemy Spa in Baltimore, chocolate biscotti from Godiva, and flowers because lovely flowers are the nicest gift anyone could get any girl! I hope she enjoys her gifts! I just want to do something active and fun for the rest of the day. I played tennis forever yesterday and the day before that because I haven't played in sooo long. I don't know what else I'll do for the rest of the day ... I may try and climb or sail!
I think I spend waaay too much time at Barnes & Noble. I can literally sit there for hours just reading random things, without getting bored. Alone, too. Maybe that's weird ... I don't really know. I guess I just enjoy my own company a lot, so it's not a bad thing. I lose contact with people easily because of that, though. Enjoying solitude ends up making me feel kind of lonely--ironic, much? ... Or maybe I'm just thinking a little too much since I'm getting sleepy. I also think my stereo is possessed. It keeps turning itself on and off, and there's only like five cds in the cd changer thing and it chooses random songs from random cds all on its own. It's not even on shuffle or anything.
I don't really miss school anymore. The first few days of winter break were kind of brutal. I was so bored and all I wanted to do was see people from school. I mean, I still would love to visit and see everyone from SU, but I'm really enjoying break. I've settled into the routine of being at home and basically doing ... nothing? The change is probably what depresses me usually. Any big change just takes a really short time to get used to and then I'm fine. Same thing will happen when it's time to go back. It will be so nice to see everyone, though!
I wrote another song on my piano. I still think it's weird that I'm enjoying playing it. I started playing more often a few months ago ... actually, at the honors house at school. I think it helped that the people there actually enjoyed it, though. My parents like it and all, but they became apathetic once I let them know that I would not be pursuing classical piano professionally. I've been playing a whole lot of contemporary stuff and popular music, too. Classical is different, though, in sooo many ways. It's not harder ... it might be easier, actually. I just stopped playing it. I stopped once the lessons ended. I hated it for a while .. but now I love it again!!! I played ridiculous amounts of Chopin and Grieg today! It was amazing. Sometimes, though, it makes me think of Mrs. Ana, and then I get so, so sad ... She was a really good teacher. When she passed away this past November, it didn't really hit me for a long while. I found out early and I didn't want to be needy so I just kept it to myself mostly. Maybe I should have been more open about it. I bet I seemed like such a horrible friend because I was so closed off for that whole month. November sucked really, really bad.
Tomorrow I have to go to brunch with my mom and her friends. Joy. Not. But one of them has a birthday so maybe it will be fun! My mom asked me to go out and get her a few nice birthday presents because she's lost so much this past year. Her home burned down and her health is deteriorating, so I bet this birthday is really special. I got her a bunch of bath and body stuff from Victoria's Secret, a massage at Alchemy Spa in Baltimore, chocolate biscotti from Godiva, and flowers because lovely flowers are the nicest gift anyone could get any girl! I hope she enjoys her gifts! I just want to do something active and fun for the rest of the day. I played tennis forever yesterday and the day before that because I haven't played in sooo long. I don't know what else I'll do for the rest of the day ... I may try and climb or sail!