take me back.
weeks have passed and im still high on the sun in my face and the waves giving my board momentum as i push myself up to stand. theres nothing like that feeling of catching a wave, be it the first or third its a myriad of emotions each time. you are alone in it, just you and nature. you learn to just let go and feel all the elements around you and almost instinctively you know exactly the right timing for everything. then theres nothing like topping of an indescribable feeling by lying on the sand listening to cafe del mar, eyes closed, letting the sound move through you. i fucking swear its like being on drugs.
third week into school and already ive lost my drive. filipino will cut off my limbs and leave me stranded on a desert island as i bleed to death in the scorching sun. little things i look forward to like friends, tennis and french slowly die as i am eaten away by idleness and indifference. the world seems to be turning so fast. everyone around me caught up in their own lives. friends going through emotional turmoil; breakups, being homeless or jobless, troubled by family problems. and there i stand helpless wishing i could just make everyone better and happy, to take their pain away. but i too am caught up in my own world. troubled by the same shit, growing lethargic as things take its course. then i wonder, if time could stop and we could live in a moment would i do it? at least then things cant get any worse than they already are. you feed off of the ecstasy of that moment, that one perfect moment. but then again it cant get any better either. thats life for you. im not going on some emo trip i was just thinking about how despite everything falling apart they still manage to fall in their proper place. everything is as it should be. only, arranged in a way that totally sucks for you.
i will read this tomorrow and get lost in my own text.
third week into school and already ive lost my drive. filipino will cut off my limbs and leave me stranded on a desert island as i bleed to death in the scorching sun. little things i look forward to like friends, tennis and french slowly die as i am eaten away by idleness and indifference. the world seems to be turning so fast. everyone around me caught up in their own lives. friends going through emotional turmoil; breakups, being homeless or jobless, troubled by family problems. and there i stand helpless wishing i could just make everyone better and happy, to take their pain away. but i too am caught up in my own world. troubled by the same shit, growing lethargic as things take its course. then i wonder, if time could stop and we could live in a moment would i do it? at least then things cant get any worse than they already are. you feed off of the ecstasy of that moment, that one perfect moment. but then again it cant get any better either. thats life for you. im not going on some emo trip i was just thinking about how despite everything falling apart they still manage to fall in their proper place. everything is as it should be. only, arranged in a way that totally sucks for you.
i will read this tomorrow and get lost in my own text.