Discussion Posting
Discussion Posting (for Human Sexuality ANT2301-0M1 @ SFCC)
Topic 1: Choosing Partners
Dr. Georg Vollweiler wrote...
Why are you interested in the men and/or women you choose as partners? Do any of the theories presented in chapter 2, such as psychoanalytic, behavioral, social learning, cognitive, humanistic, biological, sociological, or evolutionary theory explain your interests and/or attractions?
Mandy Buck replied...
While reflecting on the sexual and romantic relations I have had throughout my life I noticed some distinct trends - both conscious and subconscious - that have affected my choice of partners. Some of these are as follows:
- Proximity/familiarity
- Intelligent, creative personalities
- Similarity in values and interests
- Physical attractiveness
- Reciprocal attraction
I tend to be most attracted to people who are intelligent, can carry on an intelligent passionate conversation and can stimulate me mentally. Evolutionary theory would explain this preference as an innate urge to find a mate whose genetic traits were worthy of procreation but it is probably best explained from the sociological perspective; I grew up in a home that valued intelligence and stressed the importance of higher intellectual pursuits.
I am a firm believer that the brain is the largest erogenous zone and desire those who can teach me things or facilitate my learning process. I need to be fascinated with the way my partner's brain works, and this cognition process has to somewhat correlate with the way I process the world around me. I need a mate that is aware of the effect his thoughts have on his perception of the world. Cognitive Theory helps enlighten me to why this might be so important to me. I desire someone who has an awareness of their own internal rapport.
I seek mates who are creative, unique, and self-confident, possessing similar values to myself (non-bigoted, idealistic, progressive, and open-minded). I yearn to be close to someone who is aware of his or her motivations, and possesses a maturity in order to be aware of the potentials of life. I believe that I am most attracted to someone who is seeking to achieve what Humanistic Theory describes as self-actualization.
I am also very attracted to people who are open sexually. My household had a frank attitude about sexuality, and the other biological functions. Medical books on anatomy and sexual functions and dysfunctions lined our bookshelves. In addition to these social factors, I also discovered my father's stash of pornography when I was in first grade.
My preference is not limited to either gender, but I have had far more relationships with men than women. My experience has contributed to a greater comfort level when engaging in and pursuing heterosexual relationships. I also feel more assuredness and confidence in my ability to satisfy and perform sexually and emotionally in relationships with the opposite sex.
When I found my father's pornography stash and after my initial discovery, I became hooked. My father's porn was the usual straight male kind; mostly heterosexual themes, but a lot of lesbian material as well. Most pornography produced for men tends to include not only heterosexual encounters but lesbian sex as well. This was my first interaction with the adult sex world, which I think taught me to see women alone, women with men, women with other women - women in any form - as sexy. This and other influences probably conditioned me to explore love for women that transcends the Platonic and tiptoes below the belt buckle.