whatever, dude.
Well.
thanksgiving holiday = Now and Happening.
thespian auditions today...people actually showed up. i mean. dude. i'm consistently surprised at my (or anyone's, for that matter) to set an Activity and a time and a place and then people just Appear. they just Magically Show Up as if they're really there for the Activity. so i (or anyone, for that matter) just Conduct or Lead or Do the Activity and then they participate. still acting like they came of their own free will. and then it's Successful and Over and somehow colleges think us all the better for it.
crazy.
hence, i think, my consistent fear that things will just Fizzle Out. fail to happen, due to Lack Of Commitment or Those People simply failing to appear. reappear. whatever. an initiative, begun, that fails to follow through is worse than one that never begins. i think it leads to a fear of doing something about These Great Ideas (well, usually sleep-drunk eureka-inducing really-dumb stupid-delay..."inspirations"...like forcing the entire world to donate their reproductive organs to the government, or keeping caffeine pills in the glove compartment, or running for some office...), replaced by a general love of Momentum and Inactivity.
well. thespian auditions were today. and People Appeared.
i hated my monologue. (well, not hated. but didn't love.) so, at the last possible moment, i decided to do my "tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow" spiel from macbeth. which was...eh. eh.
and i'm directing a play! why? i'm not sure. how? also highly unsure. when? end of december. you should come. it's "english made simple" by david ives...it wins. my cast is kirk altman (jack), katherine (jill) and lori carrau (the loudspeaker.) yesssssss.
and school is mediocre(ish) and bio is trying to fucking drown me in organic plant matter named Homework and i consistently get 92s on my english essays because i forget how to write halfway through. honestly. i can't remember what essays are supposed to be about. intro, yes. conclusion, yes. even those damn topic sentences. but they can't teach you how to analyze, and so the body ends up as filler. good filler, apparently. well, fluctuatingly so.
eh.
rambling.
and piano and act one and potentially being an emt? and christmas is coming (yes, i am acknowledging that christmas exists before thanksgiving is past...who the fuck likes turkey, anyhow. honestly.) and a birthday Happening and such and various and sundry and Things. and chocolate chip cookies that turned out funny. funnily. they got all flat and flattish. one can tell a lot of things about a person from their chocolate chip cookies, and these are so Not Me. honestly. it's hypocritical, almost.
think of the dough as stem cells. and then eat it.
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenosleep. break should solve that.
free, anyone? i've got years.
thanksgiving holiday = Now and Happening.
thespian auditions today...people actually showed up. i mean. dude. i'm consistently surprised at my (or anyone's, for that matter) to set an Activity and a time and a place and then people just Appear. they just Magically Show Up as if they're really there for the Activity. so i (or anyone, for that matter) just Conduct or Lead or Do the Activity and then they participate. still acting like they came of their own free will. and then it's Successful and Over and somehow colleges think us all the better for it.
crazy.
hence, i think, my consistent fear that things will just Fizzle Out. fail to happen, due to Lack Of Commitment or Those People simply failing to appear. reappear. whatever. an initiative, begun, that fails to follow through is worse than one that never begins. i think it leads to a fear of doing something about These Great Ideas (well, usually sleep-drunk eureka-inducing really-dumb stupid-delay..."inspirations"...like forcing the entire world to donate their reproductive organs to the government, or keeping caffeine pills in the glove compartment, or running for some office...), replaced by a general love of Momentum and Inactivity.
well. thespian auditions were today. and People Appeared.
i hated my monologue. (well, not hated. but didn't love.) so, at the last possible moment, i decided to do my "tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow" spiel from macbeth. which was...eh. eh.
and i'm directing a play! why? i'm not sure. how? also highly unsure. when? end of december. you should come. it's "english made simple" by david ives...it wins. my cast is kirk altman (jack), katherine (jill) and lori carrau (the loudspeaker.) yesssssss.
and school is mediocre(ish) and bio is trying to fucking drown me in organic plant matter named Homework and i consistently get 92s on my english essays because i forget how to write halfway through. honestly. i can't remember what essays are supposed to be about. intro, yes. conclusion, yes. even those damn topic sentences. but they can't teach you how to analyze, and so the body ends up as filler. good filler, apparently. well, fluctuatingly so.
eh.
rambling.
and piano and act one and potentially being an emt? and christmas is coming (yes, i am acknowledging that christmas exists before thanksgiving is past...who the fuck likes turkey, anyhow. honestly.) and a birthday Happening and such and various and sundry and Things. and chocolate chip cookies that turned out funny. funnily. they got all flat and flattish. one can tell a lot of things about a person from their chocolate chip cookies, and these are so Not Me. honestly. it's hypocritical, almost.
think of the dough as stem cells. and then eat it.
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenosleep. break should solve that.
free, anyone? i've got years.