Are You Saying Love? (Kingdom Hearts >> Axel/Cloud)(M)
Happy April Fool's Day!
I come bearing ranting drabble fic on my new new-border obession: Axel/Cloud. Of course, it's nothing compared to undepressme's kick-ass Axel/Cloud 1sentence prompts. It's just... rec!fic that I dabble in. XD I was bored... feeling rusty, and decided I was gonna burn angsty!Cloud/Axel. Enjoy.
Warning! Does contain a few suggestive (heavily implied) themes >.> yeah. Prbly should be placed under a FRIEND'S LOCK, however today was a good day, and I'm feeling gracious. XD So, no F/LOCK on this one. No one can sue me for this one under the condition that I warned minors and provided a link. So HA!
I live like a hermit inside my head
so forgive me if i forget to take a breath
Are You Saying Love?
by candyheartsalad
Type: FanFiction >> Kingdom Hearts
Characters/Pairings: Axel/Cloud Strife Rate: M
Genre: Angst
For shame on you
Who cares about me anyway
I don't mind you
It'd mean so much if you'd just save me
Save me
--Evans Blue, Fear
1.) Warmth
Axel is firefirefire, and Cloud is coldcoldcold. Who would have ever thought a Nobody could be so warm? (even without a heart...)
Ironically Axel's skin is coldcoldcold, and his touch is firefirefire, and Cloud's skin is warmthwarmthwarmth and his eyes are palepalepale, however they are still attracted.
2.) Axel talks the talk, and walks the walk; his mouth moving a mile a minute.
Some days he talks of sunsets, and angels, and wings like sparkly glitter.
Other days he talks about dark gates, plumes of smoke, and watery graves.
Of course, Cloud really doesn't know if he's telling the truth, and it makes no difference to Axel.
where there are no promises, there are no lies
3.) Nobody
"If I had a heart," is what Axel likes to say before poetically speaking.
( He says it as if discussing the weather, as if it's not a touchy topic, as if it's suppose to comfort those around him when he says it. )
"If I had a heart," he says in a cheery singsong voice, "I could feel the sunlight on my skin."
Of course, at this point, no one says anything.
( " It's my insurance. " Axel murmurs one night. Cloud stares blank.
" I keep telling myself that one day, I will be whole, because quite frankly I dunno what I want anymore."
Cloud stares, not knowing what to say. "I have to keep reminding myself... what I want, what my goal is, because I keep forgetting what I'm fighting for."
"I know," Cloud says.
Axel laughs. "No, you don't."
"That's not fair."
"Life isn't all cookies and cream, baby." )
4.) Solid
There are days, when alone, Cloud catches Axel raising his hand into the light.
The Nobody slips his hand into the brightness, his long bony fingers flexing, pulling taunt. His eyes are hooded, his breathing almost at a pant. Axel just stares stares stares, and turns his hand over.
After a moment or two, the other hand comes up and quietly slips the glove off. This is what Cloud loves most.
And Axel likes to look at his own fingers, pale and rough. His hands are not like the others. His hands are large, covered in empty bandages, taunt over the knuckles, skin stretched thin over the back of his hand. They are strong, despite their slenderness, and they know what a weapon feels like in its grasp. They know what it feels like to want - they know the difference.
"This is sin," Axel says, "This is sin, and sin is hate, and hate is love. I am with the enemy, and no one knows I exist."
5.) There are days where it rains in Hollow Bastion.
It rains, and falls in sheets of coldness. Sometimes, the lighting flashes, and more often than naught, the thunder roars above the empty castle.
These are the days Cloud finds Axel standing at the edge of town, staringstaringstaring at the vast emptiness that lay before him. His is covered in blackness, soot, and dripping wet. "What do you think is out there?"
( Cloud is a man of few words. )
"Emptiness."
Axel laughs an empty laugh.
"They why can't I feel it?"
6.) Atonement
Cloud doesn't know why it hurts to have Axel there with him.
Inside, there is a desperate plea for more time, and more space, and just... more.
Of course, Axel being there is just like Axel not being there.
There is a rush of sorrow, hurt, and just plain desperateness.
Axel feels it too, only worse.
Axel doesn't know why he wants Cloud around.
He just feels dirty, and grimy - a thin film of grease and oil on his skin - as if he should brush it off. Because he is a Nobody (and Nobody's don't feel), Axel doesn't know what to think, what to do, how to act to please Cloud.
Even so, Axel still touches Cloud where the blond wants it most, and still kisses him like he cares.
And Axel still pretends like he exists - sweaty, hot, and deep inside Cloud,
and Cloud closes his eyes, mouth open and wide, clutching tightly onto Axel's skin, should he exist there be bruises.
They are both tragic.
7.) like you
Cloud is muscular whereas Axel is painfully thin,
and Cloud finds it odd when Axel moves above him, deeper and harder,
grunting something about a having heart.
There are moans, and there are pleas, and finally when Axel hits something inside of him, and Cloud whines like a slut there are curses.
"I shouldn't be doing this," he murmurs against Cloud's shoulder, "I shouldn't be doing this - "
"But you are," Cloud says, pushing up into him.
"And I am," he whispers, "I am, and I know it's wrong."
"Well then," there are moans here, "make it right."
"I'm trying."
- there is another push of skin on skin contact, and both men cry out.
Axel is pretty sure at this point, if he had a heart, he would be crying this very instant.
8.) and i in you
The dept of Cloud heart was bottomless. It ran far and stretched for miles. Some days, he found the aching organ pulsing weakly behind his chest, shallowly pumping blood to all parts of his body. His heart worked hard to sustain his human body, givinggivinggiving him everything he needed. Of course, the price of having a heart was one so hefty that Cloud wasn't sure he wanted the appendage anymore.
Although the guilt ran deep, like a knife through a stream and all the guilt could have ate him alive.
Axel, oh Axel, the Nobody who ( if he could dream at all ) dreamed of a heart.
The firey redhead who thought of anything and everything, wanted a heart.
... and there was Cloud.
9.) sustain and live
Axel wasn't sure what hunger and thirst felt like exactly. He was pretty sure his vague concept was close to the actual thing, but nonetheless, the Nobody couldn't feel worth shit, and decided that Cloud's hunger and thrist and love and sorrow were close enough to his blind wanting of a heart.
Yes, Axel ate sea salt ice cream, and he drank water and tea, but what did it matter? His body wasn't human enough for his insides to grumble when not feed, or throat to parch when thirsty. Axel wasn't even sure to what to think when he visited the bathroom.
His so-called "want" of Cloud's love was something he told himself he wanted (just like a heart). It definitely wasn't something he needed, but perhaps, just something he could have and keep close.
10.) heart That night, when Axel laid close to Cloud's chest, he could hear the rumble of his stomach, and the faint beat of his heart. It was a comforting sound, the low thumpthumpthump of the organ. It made Axel almost feel something in his own hollowed chest, something he hadn't felt since Roxas left the organization.
It seemed almost taboo when Axel ran a "x" pattern over Cloud's chest repeatedly, and the blond started uncertain.
"It's not fair," Axel said, "It's not cookies and cream." He leaned forward and kissed the bare chest, taking note of the puckered nipple.
"No," Cloud repeated, "It's not."
Neither spoke while the pyromania rapped his knuckle on the other's chest, imitating the raptaptap noise emitting from within.
"You know," Cloud spoke, breaking the silence, "I wouldn't stop you if you tried taking my heart."
"That's quite pathetic, blondie," Axel smirked, "Try again."
"I'm serious," Cloud spoke angrily, "I would let you, and I wouldn't even lift a finger to help myself."
"Yeah, well here I am trying with all my might to obtain a heart, and here you are, freely giving yours away. It's a pity."
"It's my sin for being here with you."
"Hmmm... in that case, perhaps I should."
"Go ahead. I already told you I wouldn't stop you."
When Axel leaned in close close enough to make Cloud squirm the moonlight caught his grin, and Cloud was so certain that he really was going to do it, and...
"Nah," the redhead fell back against his own pillow, "I think I'll pass on this one."
"Why?" The hurt in his voice didn't go unnoticed.
"Because," and Axel smiled again, "when I get my own heart, and I do plan on getting my own someday soon, you'll be the first person I test it out on."
"Is that a promise?"
"Of course. What else would it be?"
OMFG! D: I KILLED IT!!!!!!!!!!!1
*Sorry, I dun do sparkly text (dun know how... XD).
I come bearing ranting drabble fic on my new new-border obession: Axel/Cloud. Of course, it's nothing compared to undepressme's kick-ass Axel/Cloud 1sentence prompts. It's just... rec!fic that I dabble in. XD I was bored... feeling rusty, and decided I was gonna burn angsty!Cloud/Axel. Enjoy.
Warning! Does contain a few suggestive (heavily implied) themes >.> yeah. Prbly should be placed under a FRIEND'S LOCK, however today was a good day, and I'm feeling gracious. XD So, no F/LOCK on this one. No one can sue me for this one under the condition that I warned minors and provided a link. So HA!
I live like a hermit inside my head
so forgive me if i forget to take a breath
Are You Saying Love?
by candyheartsalad
Type: FanFiction >> Kingdom Hearts
Characters/Pairings: Axel/Cloud Strife Rate: M
Genre: Angst
For shame on you
Who cares about me anyway
I don't mind you
It'd mean so much if you'd just save me
Save me
--Evans Blue, Fear
1.) Warmth
Axel is firefirefire, and Cloud is coldcoldcold. Who would have ever thought a Nobody could be so warm? (even without a heart...)
Ironically Axel's skin is coldcoldcold, and his touch is firefirefire, and Cloud's skin is warmthwarmthwarmth and his eyes are palepalepale, however they are still attracted.
2.) Axel talks the talk, and walks the walk; his mouth moving a mile a minute.
Some days he talks of sunsets, and angels, and wings like sparkly glitter.
Other days he talks about dark gates, plumes of smoke, and watery graves.
Of course, Cloud really doesn't know if he's telling the truth, and it makes no difference to Axel.
where there are no promises, there are no lies
3.) Nobody
"If I had a heart," is what Axel likes to say before poetically speaking.
( He says it as if discussing the weather, as if it's not a touchy topic, as if it's suppose to comfort those around him when he says it. )
"If I had a heart," he says in a cheery singsong voice, "I could feel the sunlight on my skin."
Of course, at this point, no one says anything.
( " It's my insurance. " Axel murmurs one night. Cloud stares blank.
" I keep telling myself that one day, I will be whole, because quite frankly I dunno what I want anymore."
Cloud stares, not knowing what to say. "I have to keep reminding myself... what I want, what my goal is, because I keep forgetting what I'm fighting for."
"I know," Cloud says.
Axel laughs. "No, you don't."
"That's not fair."
"Life isn't all cookies and cream, baby." )
4.) Solid
There are days, when alone, Cloud catches Axel raising his hand into the light.
The Nobody slips his hand into the brightness, his long bony fingers flexing, pulling taunt. His eyes are hooded, his breathing almost at a pant. Axel just stares stares stares, and turns his hand over.
After a moment or two, the other hand comes up and quietly slips the glove off. This is what Cloud loves most.
And Axel likes to look at his own fingers, pale and rough. His hands are not like the others. His hands are large, covered in empty bandages, taunt over the knuckles, skin stretched thin over the back of his hand. They are strong, despite their slenderness, and they know what a weapon feels like in its grasp. They know what it feels like to want - they know the difference.
"This is sin," Axel says, "This is sin, and sin is hate, and hate is love. I am with the enemy, and no one knows I exist."
5.) There are days where it rains in Hollow Bastion.
It rains, and falls in sheets of coldness. Sometimes, the lighting flashes, and more often than naught, the thunder roars above the empty castle.
These are the days Cloud finds Axel standing at the edge of town, staringstaringstaring at the vast emptiness that lay before him. His is covered in blackness, soot, and dripping wet. "What do you think is out there?"
( Cloud is a man of few words. )
"Emptiness."
Axel laughs an empty laugh.
"They why can't I feel it?"
6.) Atonement
Cloud doesn't know why it hurts to have Axel there with him.
Inside, there is a desperate plea for more time, and more space, and just... more.
Of course, Axel being there is just like Axel not being there.
There is a rush of sorrow, hurt, and just plain desperateness.
Axel feels it too, only worse.
Axel doesn't know why he wants Cloud around.
He just feels dirty, and grimy - a thin film of grease and oil on his skin - as if he should brush it off. Because he is a Nobody (and Nobody's don't feel), Axel doesn't know what to think, what to do, how to act to please Cloud.
Even so, Axel still touches Cloud where the blond wants it most, and still kisses him like he cares.
And Axel still pretends like he exists - sweaty, hot, and deep inside Cloud,
and Cloud closes his eyes, mouth open and wide, clutching tightly onto Axel's skin, should he exist there be bruises.
They are both tragic.
7.) like you
Cloud is muscular whereas Axel is painfully thin,
and Cloud finds it odd when Axel moves above him, deeper and harder,
grunting something about a having heart.
There are moans, and there are pleas, and finally when Axel hits something inside of him, and Cloud whines like a slut there are curses.
"I shouldn't be doing this," he murmurs against Cloud's shoulder, "I shouldn't be doing this - "
"But you are," Cloud says, pushing up into him.
"And I am," he whispers, "I am, and I know it's wrong."
"Well then," there are moans here, "make it right."
"I'm trying."
- there is another push of skin on skin contact, and both men cry out.
Axel is pretty sure at this point, if he had a heart, he would be crying this very instant.
8.) and i in you
The dept of Cloud heart was bottomless. It ran far and stretched for miles. Some days, he found the aching organ pulsing weakly behind his chest, shallowly pumping blood to all parts of his body. His heart worked hard to sustain his human body, givinggivinggiving him everything he needed. Of course, the price of having a heart was one so hefty that Cloud wasn't sure he wanted the appendage anymore.
Although the guilt ran deep, like a knife through a stream and all the guilt could have ate him alive.
Axel, oh Axel, the Nobody who ( if he could dream at all ) dreamed of a heart.
The firey redhead who thought of anything and everything, wanted a heart.
... and there was Cloud.
9.) sustain and live
Axel wasn't sure what hunger and thirst felt like exactly. He was pretty sure his vague concept was close to the actual thing, but nonetheless, the Nobody couldn't feel worth shit, and decided that Cloud's hunger and thrist and love and sorrow were close enough to his blind wanting of a heart.
Yes, Axel ate sea salt ice cream, and he drank water and tea, but what did it matter? His body wasn't human enough for his insides to grumble when not feed, or throat to parch when thirsty. Axel wasn't even sure to what to think when he visited the bathroom.
His so-called "want" of Cloud's love was something he told himself he wanted (just like a heart). It definitely wasn't something he needed, but perhaps, just something he could have and keep close.
10.) heart That night, when Axel laid close to Cloud's chest, he could hear the rumble of his stomach, and the faint beat of his heart. It was a comforting sound, the low thumpthumpthump of the organ. It made Axel almost feel something in his own hollowed chest, something he hadn't felt since Roxas left the organization.
It seemed almost taboo when Axel ran a "x" pattern over Cloud's chest repeatedly, and the blond started uncertain.
"It's not fair," Axel said, "It's not cookies and cream." He leaned forward and kissed the bare chest, taking note of the puckered nipple.
"No," Cloud repeated, "It's not."
Neither spoke while the pyromania rapped his knuckle on the other's chest, imitating the raptaptap noise emitting from within.
"You know," Cloud spoke, breaking the silence, "I wouldn't stop you if you tried taking my heart."
"That's quite pathetic, blondie," Axel smirked, "Try again."
"I'm serious," Cloud spoke angrily, "I would let you, and I wouldn't even lift a finger to help myself."
"Yeah, well here I am trying with all my might to obtain a heart, and here you are, freely giving yours away. It's a pity."
"It's my sin for being here with you."
"Hmmm... in that case, perhaps I should."
"Go ahead. I already told you I wouldn't stop you."
When Axel leaned in close close enough to make Cloud squirm the moonlight caught his grin, and Cloud was so certain that he really was going to do it, and...
"Nah," the redhead fell back against his own pillow, "I think I'll pass on this one."
"Why?" The hurt in his voice didn't go unnoticed.
"Because," and Axel smiled again, "when I get my own heart, and I do plan on getting my own someday soon, you'll be the first person I test it out on."
"Is that a promise?"
"Of course. What else would it be?"
OMFG! D: I KILLED IT!!!!!!!!!!!1
*Sorry, I dun do sparkly text (dun know how... XD).