i'm being emo again.... kind of? thoughtful emo?.... er, something.
i know i write about being a sappy girl and love and yadda yadda yadda on here all the time.
but sometimes, it would be nice just to have someone to fall asleep with.
i'm not currently looking for anything.
in fact, if anything did come my way- i wouldn't even know what to do with it.
no actually, it would have to jump in front of my face, screaming, for me to even notice.
I guess I'm worried because it's been a long time since I've truly liked anyone.
(all jokes about Drew aside.....he's never really counted in this department, because we all know it's never going to happen.)
I haven't had a crush, or a school-girlish infatuation...
I haven't wondered what kind of kisser a boy would be, or if he would be okay cuddling with me on the couch.
i haven't wondered "hmm... would he get along with my brothers?" or "i hope he likes puppies..."
and i'm worried about it.
I try to think back about all my dates and boyfriends in college....
and really? I haven't actually liked any of them.
none of them really made me smile when I thought of them, or giggle when I talked about them, or see fireworks when I kissed them.
(okay, the last comment about the kiss.... that's happened once. and i'm sad he's a total douche face now....moving on!)
maybe this is what growing up is.
or maybe it's not.
i don't know anymore.
all i know is that, someday, Prince Charming will come along and knock me off my feet with his wit and charm and sarcasm, and I won't know what to do with it- because I don't know how that feels anymore.
i think about this a lot.
maybe too much.
i'm scared that if it does come along... what do I do with it?
how do I handle it?
will he love all my insecurities and the fact that my hair looks terrible when I first wake up?
will he love that I have freckles on my lips and that I'm completely irrational?
will he love seeing me naked? (we ALL think about this one.)
will he care that I'm chubby or that I cry during Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, or that I'm wishy-washy and passionate all at once?
will he love my family?
will he love my Jesus? (this one is exceedingly important to me, the older I get...)
will he want to go to church with me? pray with me? pray FOR me?
will he hate my cooking?
i think i think too much for this love business...
ay carumba.
I know, I know....
"once you find it- you'll know"
and as much as I'm not looking- I want to be found.
i want to be comfortable enough with someone and trust them enough to fall asleep next to them.
i want to walk hand in hand in the park.
i want to watch movies and eat sushi and go to the mall just to look at the puppies I wish I could buy.
i want all the gushy stuff.
and the older I get, the less I think it will ever happen.
do you believe some people are meant to be single for their entire lives?
and discuss.
but sometimes, it would be nice just to have someone to fall asleep with.
i'm not currently looking for anything.
in fact, if anything did come my way- i wouldn't even know what to do with it.
no actually, it would have to jump in front of my face, screaming, for me to even notice.
I guess I'm worried because it's been a long time since I've truly liked anyone.
(all jokes about Drew aside.....he's never really counted in this department, because we all know it's never going to happen.)
I haven't had a crush, or a school-girlish infatuation...
I haven't wondered what kind of kisser a boy would be, or if he would be okay cuddling with me on the couch.
i haven't wondered "hmm... would he get along with my brothers?" or "i hope he likes puppies..."
and i'm worried about it.
I try to think back about all my dates and boyfriends in college....
and really? I haven't actually liked any of them.
none of them really made me smile when I thought of them, or giggle when I talked about them, or see fireworks when I kissed them.
(okay, the last comment about the kiss.... that's happened once. and i'm sad he's a total douche face now....moving on!)
maybe this is what growing up is.
or maybe it's not.
i don't know anymore.
all i know is that, someday, Prince Charming will come along and knock me off my feet with his wit and charm and sarcasm, and I won't know what to do with it- because I don't know how that feels anymore.
i think about this a lot.
maybe too much.
i'm scared that if it does come along... what do I do with it?
how do I handle it?
will he love all my insecurities and the fact that my hair looks terrible when I first wake up?
will he love that I have freckles on my lips and that I'm completely irrational?
will he love seeing me naked? (we ALL think about this one.)
will he care that I'm chubby or that I cry during Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, or that I'm wishy-washy and passionate all at once?
will he love my family?
will he love my Jesus? (this one is exceedingly important to me, the older I get...)
will he want to go to church with me? pray with me? pray FOR me?
will he hate my cooking?
i think i think too much for this love business...
ay carumba.
I know, I know....
"once you find it- you'll know"
and as much as I'm not looking- I want to be found.
i want to be comfortable enough with someone and trust them enough to fall asleep next to them.
i want to walk hand in hand in the park.
i want to watch movies and eat sushi and go to the mall just to look at the puppies I wish I could buy.
i want all the gushy stuff.
and the older I get, the less I think it will ever happen.
do you believe some people are meant to be single for their entire lives?
and discuss.