I'm Probably Making This Up.
There was once a beautiful purple sparkly Unicorn called Roberta, she had made an unlikely friendship with a Puffer Fish called Spike. Despite the name Spike was a girl. She was the biggest puffer fish in the world and all the other fish used to call her fat. The story goes that Roberta had been running through the forest for a long time away from the Mike the Horny Giraffe, he had tried to mate with her and she was having none of it. Basically, Mike was a perv. Anyway, Roberta stopped for a while to have a drink, from the silver lake that ran through the forest, when Spike popped up out of nowhere. Firstly, Roberta felt shocked and didn't know what to make of the puffed out fish that swam before her nose. But then she saw the kind eyes of the friendliest puffer fish and told Spike of her plight. Inevitably Mike drew closer and his Giraffe running could be heard close by.
"Jump in" said Spike.
"I cant swim" said Roberta.
Roberta jumped in the lake anyway because she knew Mike.
She knew his crazy eyes.
She knew that he was scared of water.
She knew that if she didn't escape somehow he would rape her.
Bum Rape.
Possibly the worst kind of rape.
On a scale of 1 to 10.... 10 being the worst.
Bum Rape was a 20.
Especially in the eyes of Roberta the prim and proper unicorn.
She was too special to be raped!!
Spike told Roberta of how all the other fish took the mick out of her as she was the largest puffer fish around, and Roberta said she still looked pretty small compared to her and not to worry. Spike smiled. Roberta smiled. And they both wondered what was going to happen now they were swimming away from a crazy rapist.
They bumped into Will the whale who tried to eat Spike but was transfixed by the beautiful Unicorn, he had never seen one before and only dreamt of what a unicorn could look like. Will was a simple whale who bargained with the Unicorn that he would not eat the puffer fish if she simply did a little dance for him. Firstly, Spike and Roberta thought Will was a bit of a peado, he's not.....he just likes dancing unicorns.
He handed the Unicorn a top hat and cane and she proceeded to do a little unicorn jig she had been making up earlier on in the day before mike had tried to rape her.
the three friends stuck together forever.
They travelled the oceans together.
Spike continued to be the biggest puffer fish ever seen with eyeballs.
Will ate anything and everything that threatened the friends.
Roberta danced.
"Jump in" said Spike.
"I cant swim" said Roberta.
Roberta jumped in the lake anyway because she knew Mike.
She knew his crazy eyes.
She knew that he was scared of water.
She knew that if she didn't escape somehow he would rape her.
Bum Rape.
Possibly the worst kind of rape.
On a scale of 1 to 10.... 10 being the worst.
Bum Rape was a 20.
Especially in the eyes of Roberta the prim and proper unicorn.
She was too special to be raped!!
Spike told Roberta of how all the other fish took the mick out of her as she was the largest puffer fish around, and Roberta said she still looked pretty small compared to her and not to worry. Spike smiled. Roberta smiled. And they both wondered what was going to happen now they were swimming away from a crazy rapist.
They bumped into Will the whale who tried to eat Spike but was transfixed by the beautiful Unicorn, he had never seen one before and only dreamt of what a unicorn could look like. Will was a simple whale who bargained with the Unicorn that he would not eat the puffer fish if she simply did a little dance for him. Firstly, Spike and Roberta thought Will was a bit of a peado, he's not.....he just likes dancing unicorns.
He handed the Unicorn a top hat and cane and she proceeded to do a little unicorn jig she had been making up earlier on in the day before mike had tried to rape her.
the three friends stuck together forever.
They travelled the oceans together.
Spike continued to be the biggest puffer fish ever seen with eyeballs.
Will ate anything and everything that threatened the friends.
Roberta danced.