fic - (DA) - SPARKS
Since not everyone seemed to get the the whole '3 parts' thing (*cough*flaymzofice*cough*) - I thought it be easiest in to have it in one place anyway. So - this the same thing - just posted differently, with a bit more editing. Not quite done tho'.
TITLE: Sparks
AUTHOR: CandyCentric - AKA cleopatrapalace
FANDOM: Dark Angel
GENRE: Angst-fic
PAIRING: M/A (kinda)
RATING: T (for adult themes)
STATUS: COMPLETE!
WARNINGS: very bleak, very sad, not a 'happy ending' kinda story
SUMARY: A/N - Can act as a companion peice to Honestly Ok. Lyrics are from Coldplay's 'Sparks'. My first song-fic, so be nice. :)
SPARKS
by
CandyCentric
*************************
Did I drive you away
I know what you'll say
You say, oh, sing one we know
*************************
The last three months hadn’t been kind to him.
Long days and even longer night had taken their toll, draining him of that bright and sunny spark of life others had come to know so well. Dark rings had seemingly become a permanent feature around his dull green eyes and a lack of eating was apparent by his lighter-than-usual body frame. He didn’t speak much anymore and became almost hermit-like, coming out of his apartment only when absolutely necessary. What the others didn’t know, however, was that he left quite often, sneaking out under the cover of night and returning just before dawn.
Occasionally he would leave in search of a dark and secluded bar, but never Crash. He didn’t like to be bothered and going to their old hang-out spot would not only bring painful memories, but also he would be taking the chance of seeing familiar faces. People who liked to call themselves his friends and tried to ‘fix him’. He didn’t need help, didn’t want to be fixed - didn’t deserve it - But none of that really mattered, he was already broken beyond repair.
Sometimes he snuck out simply to wander the city, looking for something - anything - to make the pain go away. A few days after . . . that horrible night, he had even tried another source of self-help in his search of desperation; But the pills had only left him with a false sense of happiness and an unforgiving headache in the morning.
Most nights, he headed straight for the one place that offered him a small memory that hadn’t managed to get tainted in the after-affects along with everything else - the Space Needle. He would sit up there for hours, just staring at the city below and contemplating the feeling of freeness and reprieve that flying through the air would give him.
It was there, sitting on that spot - thinking those exact thoughts - that he found himself listening to the angelic whisperings of a light breeze. Not realizing the angel had taken human form and was standing - flesh and blood - behind him, he shook off the voices, attributing them to lack of sleep. Then, louder, yet with the same gentle caress it at first held, the sound came again.
"Alec?"
*************************
But I promise you this
I'll always look out for you
That's what I'll do
*************************
Hearing the soft voice, Alec froze.
So many nights he had dreamt of this exact thing - A chance to see her again, if only for a few minutes. Not to try and explain his actions, for there was no justifiable answer. He simply had made a mistake; A mistake that had cost him everything he had ever held dear to him. A mistake that he would have to live with for the rest of his life, and along with it, enough regret to feed a small European country.
He didn’t want to try and beg for her forgiveness; He neither deserved, nor wanted it. But a chance to see her again? To look upon, once more, the entrancing face of a goddess? The dark angel that captivatingly had managed to take over his entire life? To make him continue living his dreadful existence for one sole purpose - the small possibility of seeing her again? A second chance?
His head started swimming with twenty thoughts all at once. Even with the unwavering knowledge that he could never mistake her voice for someone else, his firm resolve was riddled with holes.
"Alec?"
*************************
My heart is yours
It's you that I hold on to
That's what I do
*************************
Too frightened to move, he was unable to turn around for fear that his mind was simply playing tricks on him. Only his eyes were brave enough to slowly crawl from the fixed spot they had been pointed at, down on the city below. He stared blankly ahead, past the vast expanse of empty space.
Without warning, a shadow moved to his side. His lips parted slightly, drawing in a sharp, quiet, intake of breath. All it would take now was a mere turning of his head. He so badly wanted to see her again, and while part of him knew this really happening, another part filled mind with doubts. After all this time, he now had his chance - and he did nothing but sit there, staring at the shadow.
Even with the near solid proof gazing up at him, it was until he felt a feather-light touch on the back of his shoulder that he found the courage to move.
This was it. The moment of truth.
Swallowing his suddenly dry mouth, Alec cautiously lifted his head; Turning it upwards and to the side. What he saw caused his lungs to tremble in his chest and his cold, dead heart to falter, skipping a beat.
It was real. She was there, next to him.
*************************
And I know I was wrong
But I won't let you down
*************************
They were two lost souls dwelling in the same space, at the same time, breathing the same air.
His dream stood before him and he was powerless to do anything but gaze, in awe, at it’s beauty. Not trusting his legs to hold him just yet, he instead concentrated on his breathing - reminding his lungs to draw in the necessary air.
It was too much. It was all happening too fast. And yet, the moment was frozen in time.
With grace beyond her few years of age, the raven-haired angel moved again. Standing directly in front of him now, she extended her arm out, towards him.
He looked down at her offered hand, mesmerized, and slowly brought his own up to meet hers. With the slightest movement, she took her hand in his.
Their skin was barely touching. Their souls were colliding.
The small gesture on her part spoke volumes. There had been a time when she had been unable to even look at him, let alone consider the notion of physical contact. The fact that she was willingly letting him touch her, an action she herself had initiated, brought a type of hope that he had never allowed his mind to be inhabited by before.
Her skin was warm and her face was kind.
For some reason, he had expected her to find her different, older somehow. She changed at all and he had to remind himself it had only been three months.
Three very long months.
A small part of him was relieved to find her looking just the way he remembered. As stunning as the first day they met, all that time ago. He, on the other hand, felt as weary and tired as a transgenic solider could.
Allowing her strength to flow into broken body, she closed her hand around his and helped him to stand.
They were face to face.
Long seconds passed by before he found the ability to speak. When he finally did, the words uttered were shaky and barely above a whisper.
"Max"
Her kind eyes smiled up at his and she brought up the back of her hand to lightly graze his face.
"I... I can’t believe it..." He slowly shook his head in disbelief, as if to confirm his statement. "You’re really here... How-"
His voice was cut off as she leaned forward, placing a finger to his lips.
"Shhh."
There was no need for words.
That was okay. He could barely manage clearly thoughts, much less speak coherently. The warm feeling that she knew him so well washed over him, bringing with it memories of better days.
He still couldn’t believe she was her, but the real shock to his senses came when she stepped closer to him, replacing her hand with her lips.
Words could not express what he felt right then. It was magical, beautiful and bittersweet.
But it was not meant to be and ended all too soon.
*************************
(oh yeah, yeah I will, yes I will...)
*************************
The missing warmth of her small frame against his was noticed immediately. He opened his eyes and almost immediately wished he hadn’t. A feeling of dread settled into his bones as she looked down and turned to walk away.
"Max?"
His voice sounded unsure, almost weak. It was the voice of a desperate man who had nothing left to live for.
"Max? What’s wrong?"
Not understanding the reason for her actions, he stepped forward.
She looked out at the sky and it was then Alec noticed something new in her eyes - a look of fulfillment; closure. He opened his mouth to try again, but she broke the silence first.
"Thank you."
Confused more so now then ever before, he wasn’t sure how exactly to respond.
"I... I don’t understand."
She responded simply by looking back up at him and smiling shyly, in a very un-Max-like way. She held his gaze for what felt like minutes, until he finally broke the trance by stepping closer to her. But instead of reaching for him like she had before, her foot moved behind her, backing her farther away from him and closer to the edge.
Startled by her actions, he tried asking her again.
"Max? What’s happening?"
He was a desperate man at the end of his rope. All he wanted stood before him. Mere inches away, mere milas apart.
"Thank you. This is what I wanted."
Misinterpreting her words, his eyes lit up as he smiled in understanding. "Oh Max, you’ve no idea how much it means to me just to see you again." Without thinking, he again stepped forward in excitement. The movement caused her to travel closer to the edge of the steep platform, now just inches behind her.
"And that’s what I wanted."
She wasn’t making any sense. He opened his mouth to ask for some kind of explanation, but shut it when she again spoke.
"A chance to see you one last time." She paused, but he didn’t want to interrupt her. "One last smile. One last touch... One last kiss."
Alarm bells went off in his head. He didn’t try to hide the scared and desperate tone his words held.
"Max? What are you doing?" He felt helpless. All he wanted was to go over to her and hold her in his arms, never letting go. But he was afraid to go any closer, fearing what she might do. His heart pounded in his chest as he stood there, waiting.
"Goodbye Alec. I love you." She brought her hand up, touching it to her lips, and blew him a kiss goodbye.
As the angel soared through the air, still smiling, her eyes never left his.
*************************
Yeah I saw sparks
And I saw sparks
Yeah I saw sparks
*************************
No matter how different they seemed to be, in the end the dreams were all the same. She was gone, and she wasn’t coming back.
Blinking the moisture from his eyes while clinching his fists, Alec spared no time in rising the bed, grabbing his jacket and walking out the door.
There would be no more sleeping tonight.
**************************************************
Comments & criticism welcome. I don't do to well with punctuation (sp?) so especially let me know if something needs to be changed. Please? :) Thanks.
TITLE: Sparks
AUTHOR: CandyCentric - AKA cleopatrapalace
FANDOM: Dark Angel
GENRE: Angst-fic
PAIRING: M/A (kinda)
RATING: T (for adult themes)
STATUS: COMPLETE!
WARNINGS: very bleak, very sad, not a 'happy ending' kinda story
SUMARY: A/N - Can act as a companion peice to Honestly Ok. Lyrics are from Coldplay's 'Sparks'. My first song-fic, so be nice. :)
SPARKS
by
CandyCentric
*************************
Did I drive you away
I know what you'll say
You say, oh, sing one we know
*************************
The last three months hadn’t been kind to him.
Long days and even longer night had taken their toll, draining him of that bright and sunny spark of life others had come to know so well. Dark rings had seemingly become a permanent feature around his dull green eyes and a lack of eating was apparent by his lighter-than-usual body frame. He didn’t speak much anymore and became almost hermit-like, coming out of his apartment only when absolutely necessary. What the others didn’t know, however, was that he left quite often, sneaking out under the cover of night and returning just before dawn.
Occasionally he would leave in search of a dark and secluded bar, but never Crash. He didn’t like to be bothered and going to their old hang-out spot would not only bring painful memories, but also he would be taking the chance of seeing familiar faces. People who liked to call themselves his friends and tried to ‘fix him’. He didn’t need help, didn’t want to be fixed - didn’t deserve it - But none of that really mattered, he was already broken beyond repair.
Sometimes he snuck out simply to wander the city, looking for something - anything - to make the pain go away. A few days after . . . that horrible night, he had even tried another source of self-help in his search of desperation; But the pills had only left him with a false sense of happiness and an unforgiving headache in the morning.
Most nights, he headed straight for the one place that offered him a small memory that hadn’t managed to get tainted in the after-affects along with everything else - the Space Needle. He would sit up there for hours, just staring at the city below and contemplating the feeling of freeness and reprieve that flying through the air would give him.
It was there, sitting on that spot - thinking those exact thoughts - that he found himself listening to the angelic whisperings of a light breeze. Not realizing the angel had taken human form and was standing - flesh and blood - behind him, he shook off the voices, attributing them to lack of sleep. Then, louder, yet with the same gentle caress it at first held, the sound came again.
"Alec?"
*************************
But I promise you this
I'll always look out for you
That's what I'll do
*************************
Hearing the soft voice, Alec froze.
So many nights he had dreamt of this exact thing - A chance to see her again, if only for a few minutes. Not to try and explain his actions, for there was no justifiable answer. He simply had made a mistake; A mistake that had cost him everything he had ever held dear to him. A mistake that he would have to live with for the rest of his life, and along with it, enough regret to feed a small European country.
He didn’t want to try and beg for her forgiveness; He neither deserved, nor wanted it. But a chance to see her again? To look upon, once more, the entrancing face of a goddess? The dark angel that captivatingly had managed to take over his entire life? To make him continue living his dreadful existence for one sole purpose - the small possibility of seeing her again? A second chance?
His head started swimming with twenty thoughts all at once. Even with the unwavering knowledge that he could never mistake her voice for someone else, his firm resolve was riddled with holes.
"Alec?"
*************************
My heart is yours
It's you that I hold on to
That's what I do
*************************
Too frightened to move, he was unable to turn around for fear that his mind was simply playing tricks on him. Only his eyes were brave enough to slowly crawl from the fixed spot they had been pointed at, down on the city below. He stared blankly ahead, past the vast expanse of empty space.
Without warning, a shadow moved to his side. His lips parted slightly, drawing in a sharp, quiet, intake of breath. All it would take now was a mere turning of his head. He so badly wanted to see her again, and while part of him knew this really happening, another part filled mind with doubts. After all this time, he now had his chance - and he did nothing but sit there, staring at the shadow.
Even with the near solid proof gazing up at him, it was until he felt a feather-light touch on the back of his shoulder that he found the courage to move.
This was it. The moment of truth.
Swallowing his suddenly dry mouth, Alec cautiously lifted his head; Turning it upwards and to the side. What he saw caused his lungs to tremble in his chest and his cold, dead heart to falter, skipping a beat.
It was real. She was there, next to him.
*************************
And I know I was wrong
But I won't let you down
*************************
They were two lost souls dwelling in the same space, at the same time, breathing the same air.
His dream stood before him and he was powerless to do anything but gaze, in awe, at it’s beauty. Not trusting his legs to hold him just yet, he instead concentrated on his breathing - reminding his lungs to draw in the necessary air.
It was too much. It was all happening too fast. And yet, the moment was frozen in time.
With grace beyond her few years of age, the raven-haired angel moved again. Standing directly in front of him now, she extended her arm out, towards him.
He looked down at her offered hand, mesmerized, and slowly brought his own up to meet hers. With the slightest movement, she took her hand in his.
Their skin was barely touching. Their souls were colliding.
The small gesture on her part spoke volumes. There had been a time when she had been unable to even look at him, let alone consider the notion of physical contact. The fact that she was willingly letting him touch her, an action she herself had initiated, brought a type of hope that he had never allowed his mind to be inhabited by before.
Her skin was warm and her face was kind.
For some reason, he had expected her to find her different, older somehow. She changed at all and he had to remind himself it had only been three months.
Three very long months.
A small part of him was relieved to find her looking just the way he remembered. As stunning as the first day they met, all that time ago. He, on the other hand, felt as weary and tired as a transgenic solider could.
Allowing her strength to flow into broken body, she closed her hand around his and helped him to stand.
They were face to face.
Long seconds passed by before he found the ability to speak. When he finally did, the words uttered were shaky and barely above a whisper.
"Max"
Her kind eyes smiled up at his and she brought up the back of her hand to lightly graze his face.
"I... I can’t believe it..." He slowly shook his head in disbelief, as if to confirm his statement. "You’re really here... How-"
His voice was cut off as she leaned forward, placing a finger to his lips.
"Shhh."
There was no need for words.
That was okay. He could barely manage clearly thoughts, much less speak coherently. The warm feeling that she knew him so well washed over him, bringing with it memories of better days.
He still couldn’t believe she was her, but the real shock to his senses came when she stepped closer to him, replacing her hand with her lips.
Words could not express what he felt right then. It was magical, beautiful and bittersweet.
But it was not meant to be and ended all too soon.
*************************
(oh yeah, yeah I will, yes I will...)
*************************
The missing warmth of her small frame against his was noticed immediately. He opened his eyes and almost immediately wished he hadn’t. A feeling of dread settled into his bones as she looked down and turned to walk away.
"Max?"
His voice sounded unsure, almost weak. It was the voice of a desperate man who had nothing left to live for.
"Max? What’s wrong?"
Not understanding the reason for her actions, he stepped forward.
She looked out at the sky and it was then Alec noticed something new in her eyes - a look of fulfillment; closure. He opened his mouth to try again, but she broke the silence first.
"Thank you."
Confused more so now then ever before, he wasn’t sure how exactly to respond.
"I... I don’t understand."
She responded simply by looking back up at him and smiling shyly, in a very un-Max-like way. She held his gaze for what felt like minutes, until he finally broke the trance by stepping closer to her. But instead of reaching for him like she had before, her foot moved behind her, backing her farther away from him and closer to the edge.
Startled by her actions, he tried asking her again.
"Max? What’s happening?"
He was a desperate man at the end of his rope. All he wanted stood before him. Mere inches away, mere milas apart.
"Thank you. This is what I wanted."
Misinterpreting her words, his eyes lit up as he smiled in understanding. "Oh Max, you’ve no idea how much it means to me just to see you again." Without thinking, he again stepped forward in excitement. The movement caused her to travel closer to the edge of the steep platform, now just inches behind her.
"And that’s what I wanted."
She wasn’t making any sense. He opened his mouth to ask for some kind of explanation, but shut it when she again spoke.
"A chance to see you one last time." She paused, but he didn’t want to interrupt her. "One last smile. One last touch... One last kiss."
Alarm bells went off in his head. He didn’t try to hide the scared and desperate tone his words held.
"Max? What are you doing?" He felt helpless. All he wanted was to go over to her and hold her in his arms, never letting go. But he was afraid to go any closer, fearing what she might do. His heart pounded in his chest as he stood there, waiting.
"Goodbye Alec. I love you." She brought her hand up, touching it to her lips, and blew him a kiss goodbye.
As the angel soared through the air, still smiling, her eyes never left his.
*************************
Yeah I saw sparks
And I saw sparks
Yeah I saw sparks
*************************
No matter how different they seemed to be, in the end the dreams were all the same. She was gone, and she wasn’t coming back.
Blinking the moisture from his eyes while clinching his fists, Alec spared no time in rising the bed, grabbing his jacket and walking out the door.
There would be no more sleeping tonight.
**************************************************
Comments & criticism welcome. I don't do to well with punctuation (sp?) so especially let me know if something needs to be changed. Please? :) Thanks.