holding the last moments of 2006.
there are so many memories to be grateful for but there are times when i remember certain memories that i become too melancholy or too stuck in what has been so today i told myself, i will live today. and hold that moments that are today's. and if i can only see everyday like today, then each memory i hold will be something that my heart need not ache for.
woke up this morning to see my sister sitting on her throne saying that she saw a woman with a hat on the tiles. i found it hilarious that at such an early hour she was awake enough to notice the lines that imagination creates on the walls when we're idly going about our morning routine.
taking care of Emmanuel the past few days made me feel the grace of motherhood for a moment. and I felt blessed by this little one. like an angel passing by, found my arms worthy to rest his little head upon.
conversations at lola inday's cozy living room always opens up breathing space for me. space where generations meet and thoughts weave memories together without restraint. my grandaunt has always been a kindred spirit. our heart has journeyed the same path of love where we have given more than we could and squeezed more than what was there. but through it all we believed in the miracle of a beating heart. where as long as it beats, there is hope to live and love again and again and again.
my mom never drinks. of course, she drinks red wine but she's not a drinker of anything with alcoholic content. but she had punch tonight at new year's eve dinner and i told her it had rum in it. she kept on eating and just nodded at me dismissively. a few minutes after her second glass she looked at me and smiled this weird grin and said, "i think i'm drunk." i laughed and gave her a glass of water. here she is a few minutes more. asleep.
i've never seen a kid struggle really hard just to get a sip of 7up. up until my niece cassee. she didn't want to eat dinner but her folks were telling her to eat before drinking 7up first. she was surrounded by everyone looking at her just to take her forkful of spaghetti and when she did, she got her sip of 7up. such a display of tenacity for such a young heart. can't help but smile at such strength.
at the end of the day, when all comes down to it, family binds all ties. and when you are close to the women in your family, you are bound by something that will nurture you for life. through tears and laughter. and even through a little bit of crazy. :-)
