screw you, st. christopher
I would like to extend a big fuck you to my television remote. It was totally not on the bed when I looked and physically moved the sheets, and certainly not when I began tearing the entire room apart looking for it. I would also like to add that I did not appreciate it given the current temperature is 80 and humidity is 71 percent. If you do this to me again, I will be forced to stop watching television altogether (which, actually wouldn't be a bad thing).
Also, I would like the book I was looking for to die (though I love it so) because it was certainly not on my shelf last night when I looked, and it was not in the bag I thought was under my bed, which eventually led to the discovery of an amount of dust which could only be described as colossal, leading to moving the bed, then vacuuming, then looking for remote and book.
I am now in possession of both remote and book, smothered in humidity and smelling of vacuum cleaner air.
Also, I would like the book I was looking for to die (though I love it so) because it was certainly not on my shelf last night when I looked, and it was not in the bag I thought was under my bed, which eventually led to the discovery of an amount of dust which could only be described as colossal, leading to moving the bed, then vacuuming, then looking for remote and book.
I am now in possession of both remote and book, smothered in humidity and smelling of vacuum cleaner air.