Can i be your memory..
I come home feeling as though I'm being pushed back into this old life. I'm not that person anymore, and I can definetly feel it now. Nashua no longer means coming home to see my best friend and spend time with her, its not working at Market Basket, its not visiting my mom or visiting an old boyfriend... it means none of those things anymore. Now it's just a hassle. When I stay away for too long I start to think I miss it and then I get home and it's like... so what? The few people I do spend time with, I love them and I love being around them but there are so many people who aren't worth the effort anymore or have straight up lost touch with me. It's life and I understand it, but it sucks.
I haven't seen my brother since November and I get to go with my mom in the am to pick him up from the airport!! Then hopefully Travis is coming up after his class, which would be awesomeeee. Then Wed I'm leaving for FLORIDA! I'm so pumped to take a lil vaca. I've been reading this book that both Bonnie and Trav recommended to me called A Million Little Pieces. It's one of those books that you just cant put down once you start. It's by James Fray and about his experience in rehab, it's intense. I shall quote:
"I start to cry. Tears begin running down my fave and quiet sobs escape me. I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know wy I'm here and I don't know how things ever got this bad. I try to find answers but they aren't there. I'm too fucked up to have answers. Im too fucked up for anyting. The tears come harder and sobs become louder and I curl up on the cold tile floor and hug myself. I hug myself an dI wail ad it's morning and 'm somehwere in Minnesota and I haven't had a drink in five days and I don't know what the fuck is happening to me."
Loveeee it.
I haven't seen my brother since November and I get to go with my mom in the am to pick him up from the airport!! Then hopefully Travis is coming up after his class, which would be awesomeeee. Then Wed I'm leaving for FLORIDA! I'm so pumped to take a lil vaca. I've been reading this book that both Bonnie and Trav recommended to me called A Million Little Pieces. It's one of those books that you just cant put down once you start. It's by James Fray and about his experience in rehab, it's intense. I shall quote:
"I start to cry. Tears begin running down my fave and quiet sobs escape me. I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know wy I'm here and I don't know how things ever got this bad. I try to find answers but they aren't there. I'm too fucked up to have answers. Im too fucked up for anyting. The tears come harder and sobs become louder and I curl up on the cold tile floor and hug myself. I hug myself an dI wail ad it's morning and 'm somehwere in Minnesota and I haven't had a drink in five days and I don't know what the fuck is happening to me."
Loveeee it.