a birthday entry.
so, it's nice when people think you always say that you're a happy person, but when it comes to my birthday, it's kind of like i found a way to really lose the hope that you have given me. i never did mean it.
anyway. the reason i'm home, is because i'm supposed to be in iss for bitching out chris farley [the slobass vp of my fuckass school.] but the deans know that i don't DO iss, so i just take oss. no one wants to see me on my own birthday. joe broke plans with me, my parents didn't even say happy birthday, my mom told me to clean the house. my own brother wished me a good day in front of my mom and she didn't utter a word. gigi got me a gift though. i love her, she's such a good person. it's a "pressed fairy book." it's a diary of this women who believes in fairies and goblins, and inside is all images of fairies that she crushed in the book. it's really pretty. my aunt and uncle is supposed to come over, but it won't mean a thing unless they bring my goddaughter, which they won't. i wish i was a kid again, when birthdays meant everything, and it WASN'T just another year closer to death. no matter what, you'd always think your birthday was the most special day of the year, and you'd get tons of mail with your name on it, and i don't know. you'd just feel special. i take a look at hailey [my goddaughter] and she's so beautiful, and i don't want her to mess up like i did. those really were the days. no one even remembers. that's what hurts the most. i see people in school i knew years ago that don't even remember me because we all changed so much. but things turn different. sometimes for the worse.
we were trying so hard to survive,
but even though we were young,
we had to stay strong.
no matter what we went through,
IT WAS ME AND MY CREW.
and that's how we win...
when we were kids.
this entry will be edited often throughout the day.
anyway. the reason i'm home, is because i'm supposed to be in iss for bitching out chris farley [the slobass vp of my fuckass school.] but the deans know that i don't DO iss, so i just take oss. no one wants to see me on my own birthday. joe broke plans with me, my parents didn't even say happy birthday, my mom told me to clean the house. my own brother wished me a good day in front of my mom and she didn't utter a word. gigi got me a gift though. i love her, she's such a good person. it's a "pressed fairy book." it's a diary of this women who believes in fairies and goblins, and inside is all images of fairies that she crushed in the book. it's really pretty. my aunt and uncle is supposed to come over, but it won't mean a thing unless they bring my goddaughter, which they won't. i wish i was a kid again, when birthdays meant everything, and it WASN'T just another year closer to death. no matter what, you'd always think your birthday was the most special day of the year, and you'd get tons of mail with your name on it, and i don't know. you'd just feel special. i take a look at hailey [my goddaughter] and she's so beautiful, and i don't want her to mess up like i did. those really were the days. no one even remembers. that's what hurts the most. i see people in school i knew years ago that don't even remember me because we all changed so much. but things turn different. sometimes for the worse.
we were trying so hard to survive,
but even though we were young,
we had to stay strong.
no matter what we went through,
IT WAS ME AND MY CREW.
and that's how we win...
when we were kids.
this entry will be edited often throughout the day.