I feel like I can finally breathe again.
Well,
Welcome back race fans, it's Cavalcade sport time again.
Here at the jamboree,
Home of the hits.
How you doing Bob?
It's the last stretch
And my heart.. my heart stays in the lead
And we see first, second behind my heart is my mind
Third behind my mind is my body.
Fourth behind my body is my soul
And my heart stays in the lead.
Coming around the stretch..
That was a good one Bob.
So here is my last two weeks in cliff notes:
* I started hanging out with friends who are best friends with my ex-boyfriend (it didnt end well) on the regular.
* So therefore I saw my ex-boyfriend on the regular.
* Which lead to me hanging out with my ex boyfriend on the regular.
* Which lead to old feelings that have been non-existant for the past three years, but mostly to feelings of familiarity more than anything.
* Which lead to physical acts that shouldnt have happened, but thankfully no sex. ('Thankfully' because of reason I wont disclose because I am not a TOTAL cunt).
* Which lead to us thinking it was a good idea to start dating again. (You know, 'Maybe it'll be different....yadda yadda yadda').
* Which started off as not bad but then I started to realize that the only that had changed was me. I've grown up, I've matured and most importantly I got better, which allowed me to realize that he hasn't changed...at all. He seems to be his priority and that is never going to change. That is fine but I personally can not and will not be in a relationship with someone who is not willing to put in the effort. I am a good person and I am tired of putting forth all my time and energy into relationships where I get nothing in return. That is the most important thing I learned through this whole experience ordeal.
* So to sum up after coming to this conclusion I decided to end it with him, I told him exactly what I was feeling and why I was feeling that way without calling him names or cutting him down. -That's not my style. I prefer to throw the truth in your face and make you confront the issue head on. ...and people wonder why I spend most of my time observing...I am simply listening, taking it all in and strategizing on how to protect myself when these people will inevitably try to fuck me over.
* He wants to know if we will still be friends, I told him that the first time we broke up we were going to be friends but he, not me, was the one who disappeared and ultimately made the decision of whether or not we were going to be friends- not me. I had no say in the matter whatsoever, so why the hell was he so concerned with my thoughts and feelings on the matter this time around?
* All I know is that my life was a lot more simple without him in it.
* He said he was going to call me when he got back from Maine, you know try the whole 'friends thing'. Yeah, we'll see, not even if we will be friends, but if he even calls. I doubt it but frankly I dont care either way.
"I am tired of trying to impress people who do not impress me". - my sister (probably the smartest thing she has ever said. ever.)
I have an amazing family and the best friends anyone could ask for, I dont have the time or energy to spend on people who dont deserve it. I would rather spend it on the people who do.
<3 the girl who is finally growing up and moving on.
Welcome back race fans, it's Cavalcade sport time again.
Here at the jamboree,
Home of the hits.
How you doing Bob?
It's the last stretch
And my heart.. my heart stays in the lead
And we see first, second behind my heart is my mind
Third behind my mind is my body.
Fourth behind my body is my soul
And my heart stays in the lead.
Coming around the stretch..
That was a good one Bob.
So here is my last two weeks in cliff notes:
* I started hanging out with friends who are best friends with my ex-boyfriend (it didnt end well) on the regular.
* So therefore I saw my ex-boyfriend on the regular.
* Which lead to me hanging out with my ex boyfriend on the regular.
* Which lead to old feelings that have been non-existant for the past three years, but mostly to feelings of familiarity more than anything.
* Which lead to physical acts that shouldnt have happened, but thankfully no sex. ('Thankfully' because of reason I wont disclose because I am not a TOTAL cunt).
* Which lead to us thinking it was a good idea to start dating again. (You know, 'Maybe it'll be different....yadda yadda yadda').
* Which started off as not bad but then I started to realize that the only that had changed was me. I've grown up, I've matured and most importantly I got better, which allowed me to realize that he hasn't changed...at all. He seems to be his priority and that is never going to change. That is fine but I personally can not and will not be in a relationship with someone who is not willing to put in the effort. I am a good person and I am tired of putting forth all my time and energy into relationships where I get nothing in return. That is the most important thing I learned through this whole experience ordeal.
* So to sum up after coming to this conclusion I decided to end it with him, I told him exactly what I was feeling and why I was feeling that way without calling him names or cutting him down. -That's not my style. I prefer to throw the truth in your face and make you confront the issue head on. ...and people wonder why I spend most of my time observing...I am simply listening, taking it all in and strategizing on how to protect myself when these people will inevitably try to fuck me over.
* He wants to know if we will still be friends, I told him that the first time we broke up we were going to be friends but he, not me, was the one who disappeared and ultimately made the decision of whether or not we were going to be friends- not me. I had no say in the matter whatsoever, so why the hell was he so concerned with my thoughts and feelings on the matter this time around?
* All I know is that my life was a lot more simple without him in it.
* He said he was going to call me when he got back from Maine, you know try the whole 'friends thing'. Yeah, we'll see, not even if we will be friends, but if he even calls. I doubt it but frankly I dont care either way.
"I am tired of trying to impress people who do not impress me". - my sister (probably the smartest thing she has ever said. ever.)
I have an amazing family and the best friends anyone could ask for, I dont have the time or energy to spend on people who dont deserve it. I would rather spend it on the people who do.
<3 the girl who is finally growing up and moving on.