Give me love.
I was excited and getting happier..but today I feel...empty. Could be the lack of sleep and excess booze consumed this weekend.
I know it's only been a few months, but I just feel so lost still. I have no idea what I'm doing or where I want to be. I miss having someone to make decisions with. The world was ours for the taking...Now I'm just..alone. In this room. Feeling worthless.
In May I was lucky enough to be considered a good enough friend of Monica's for her to ask me to be her maid of honor. I stood by her side and watched her walk down the aisle in a dress that made her look like a princess...Saturday, I stood by her side again while she walked out on her marriage. She wasn't happy. They probably shouldn't have even gotten married. It's killing me. I want her to be happy, so I will support whatever decision she makes, but I can't help but think that this is a huge mistake. I have so much respect for Chas as a person and I hate to know that he's hurting because of her.
Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive in light of the recent events in my own life.
Also this weekend, Melanie ended things with Jerry. That too has me thoroughly upset.
I hate being "single." My life feels so dramatic and unstable. I hate it. I miss going home every evening after work. Making dinner. Pouring a beer from the kegerator. Snuggling up watching Glee or Bob's Burgers or Walking Dead or Archer. I suppose my habits haven't changed much. Just a new place with someone else making dinner and constantly having to keep my bottles stocked. It may not have been very exciting, but I miss my life. I miss my home. I feel like I've lost my independence. I feel helpless and so incredibly lonely.
Sooo, I might have to move in 2 weeks...Holy hell.
I know it's only been a few months, but I just feel so lost still. I have no idea what I'm doing or where I want to be. I miss having someone to make decisions with. The world was ours for the taking...Now I'm just..alone. In this room. Feeling worthless.
In May I was lucky enough to be considered a good enough friend of Monica's for her to ask me to be her maid of honor. I stood by her side and watched her walk down the aisle in a dress that made her look like a princess...Saturday, I stood by her side again while she walked out on her marriage. She wasn't happy. They probably shouldn't have even gotten married. It's killing me. I want her to be happy, so I will support whatever decision she makes, but I can't help but think that this is a huge mistake. I have so much respect for Chas as a person and I hate to know that he's hurting because of her.
Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive in light of the recent events in my own life.
Also this weekend, Melanie ended things with Jerry. That too has me thoroughly upset.
I hate being "single." My life feels so dramatic and unstable. I hate it. I miss going home every evening after work. Making dinner. Pouring a beer from the kegerator. Snuggling up watching Glee or Bob's Burgers or Walking Dead or Archer. I suppose my habits haven't changed much. Just a new place with someone else making dinner and constantly having to keep my bottles stocked. It may not have been very exciting, but I miss my life. I miss my home. I feel like I've lost my independence. I feel helpless and so incredibly lonely.
Sooo, I might have to move in 2 weeks...Holy hell.