blahh. venting?
I don't even feel the need to update this considering that the outpouring of my emotions won't get me anyway, fast. I suppose I just want to fill up the page with my pointless complaining that I haven't bothered to release. No one really reads these things, and that is how I like it.
It's March already, and I'm growing closer to my graduation. It is SUCH a surreal feeling whenever it slips into my thoughts. Honestly, I can still remember the first day of third grade. I almost don't feel as if I've reached that level of maturity and independancy that I will need after the summer. Although, I have grown so much that I couldn't possibly have any doubts about my life once I'm on my own. It's just the whole "I'm going to be on my own, for real." Oh well, It's a part of life. New beginnings and shit.
I really don't want to go to prom. It's so weird seeing as Prom is such an integral part of a person's senior year in high school. But I don't feel that excited for it. I don't feel like getting a dress, I don't feel like putting up with all the hype for it, and I don't want to find a date. Dates. Eww. I just want to go with my friends and have a good time. I hate the thought of having a date, let alone finding one. It's just so tedious and uncomfortable. Of course, the already established couples need not worry. There is someone that wants to take me, but I honestly don't want to go with him, if anything, not the way he wants me to. -shudders- I still keep thinking of the occurrence in my car. I wish I had never drove him home.
Honestly, I feel I'm avoiding what I really want to talk about. I don't want to have it all out in the open, but it's either eating me up inside, or I'm just too bothered to worry about it. Boys Suck. Relationships Suck. Love sucks. The simplicity of affection is seriously nonexistent. At least for me, that is. I just want to know where he is, if that is too much to ask for. Apparently it is, of course. I hate emotions a lot, and trying to repair them. Fuck. I don't like mentioning how I'm feeling 2/3rds of the time. Only Panda knows really,and I suppose I would like to keep it that way. I miss him (more than anything). Simple as that.
Oh yeah. I get my official license tomorrow.
It's March already, and I'm growing closer to my graduation. It is SUCH a surreal feeling whenever it slips into my thoughts. Honestly, I can still remember the first day of third grade. I almost don't feel as if I've reached that level of maturity and independancy that I will need after the summer. Although, I have grown so much that I couldn't possibly have any doubts about my life once I'm on my own. It's just the whole "I'm going to be on my own, for real." Oh well, It's a part of life. New beginnings and shit.
I really don't want to go to prom. It's so weird seeing as Prom is such an integral part of a person's senior year in high school. But I don't feel that excited for it. I don't feel like getting a dress, I don't feel like putting up with all the hype for it, and I don't want to find a date. Dates. Eww. I just want to go with my friends and have a good time. I hate the thought of having a date, let alone finding one. It's just so tedious and uncomfortable. Of course, the already established couples need not worry. There is someone that wants to take me, but I honestly don't want to go with him, if anything, not the way he wants me to. -shudders- I still keep thinking of the occurrence in my car. I wish I had never drove him home.
Honestly, I feel I'm avoiding what I really want to talk about. I don't want to have it all out in the open, but it's either eating me up inside, or I'm just too bothered to worry about it. Boys Suck. Relationships Suck. Love sucks. The simplicity of affection is seriously nonexistent. At least for me, that is. I just want to know where he is, if that is too much to ask for. Apparently it is, of course. I hate emotions a lot, and trying to repair them. Fuck. I don't like mentioning how I'm feeling 2/3rds of the time. Only Panda knows really,and I suppose I would like to keep it that way. I miss him (more than anything). Simple as that.
Oh yeah. I get my official license tomorrow.