overwhelmed
It's official, I am joining the horrific world of LJ. For those of you who know me and know how I used to berate those of my counterparts who participated in online bitching, you may be wondering why I am seemingly compromising my moral code. WELL, its cause I'm worried about all of you who I don't see on a regular basis. I'm worried that I am losing touch with you and that I have created my own little bubble of parties and drama that is so important to me but means absolutely nothing to you. And besides, speaking outloud about people and what pisses you off can get you in a lot of trouble in the dorms...the walls are just so thin. And in Missouri no one knows what the hell LJ is anyway so what have I got to lose right?
In grade 10 in Anthro I once took a test that said that if I had not been nurtured right then I would have been a serial killer because I lack the basic skill of empathy. Well seeing as I have survived this long without brutally murdering someone I am glad my parents did a good job. Right now although I just want to give everyone huge hugs and tell them that I love them, I also want to slap them across the face. I have always been raised to believe that we have total control over our lives. No matter whether you believe in God or not stuff just doesn't happen to you and sweep you away on an uncontrollable wave of events. That only happens in Guy Ritchie movies. We are adults here. Stand up for god sakes, all of you and take control, decide to get better, decide you aren't going to lead him on anymore, fucking make choices. All of you. Because I care. If you're not going to do it for yourself because you are just that far down the well, then do it for me who is so far away that my arm does not extend far enough to simultaneously slap and hug you. Right now, I'm going to make it about me. Your problems are about me and how your bad dealing with them makes me feel.
So as I sit here, post weights, sweaty and gross and somewhat hungover, watching whatever the hell MTV throws at me..I just want to scream at my roommate for smiling even though she had a shit ass weekend when it comes to making other people feel good about themselves (aka her bf and my close friend), I want to scream at all of you who are only going to hear me through LJ because long distance phone calls cost too much and I am broke. STEP UP and take it by the reins or atleast tell me whats truly going on and listen to me when I talk to you. please. Sadly it is my French exam and getting the shit kicked out of me at practice that I am looking forward to right now. Yet am I really happy in general. oh the irony.
In grade 10 in Anthro I once took a test that said that if I had not been nurtured right then I would have been a serial killer because I lack the basic skill of empathy. Well seeing as I have survived this long without brutally murdering someone I am glad my parents did a good job. Right now although I just want to give everyone huge hugs and tell them that I love them, I also want to slap them across the face. I have always been raised to believe that we have total control over our lives. No matter whether you believe in God or not stuff just doesn't happen to you and sweep you away on an uncontrollable wave of events. That only happens in Guy Ritchie movies. We are adults here. Stand up for god sakes, all of you and take control, decide to get better, decide you aren't going to lead him on anymore, fucking make choices. All of you. Because I care. If you're not going to do it for yourself because you are just that far down the well, then do it for me who is so far away that my arm does not extend far enough to simultaneously slap and hug you. Right now, I'm going to make it about me. Your problems are about me and how your bad dealing with them makes me feel.
So as I sit here, post weights, sweaty and gross and somewhat hungover, watching whatever the hell MTV throws at me..I just want to scream at my roommate for smiling even though she had a shit ass weekend when it comes to making other people feel good about themselves (aka her bf and my close friend), I want to scream at all of you who are only going to hear me through LJ because long distance phone calls cost too much and I am broke. STEP UP and take it by the reins or atleast tell me whats truly going on and listen to me when I talk to you. please. Sadly it is my French exam and getting the shit kicked out of me at practice that I am looking forward to right now. Yet am I really happy in general. oh the irony.