How To Condense 6 Years In One Post
The subject about the online journal I had years ago and people I met through it came up in conversation to a work colleague. This prompted me to have a little look at it again. After skimming through the last few posts, it was a touch confronting how little has changed in so many years. I will try to do the most abbreviated overview of the last 6 years.
The most upsetting change is I no longer have The Black Bitch (car). Poor thing spent more time being repaired than on the road and had to go. I haven't managed to get a replacement for the girl, so have been the victim of a tortured existence on public transport since. I hire a car a few times a year to go on road trip adventures and keep some semblance of sanity.
I am still working at the same movie place. After being denied a well overdue pay rise recently, I am going to stay until I qualify for long service leave, which is due early next year, then start looking elsewhere. Inflation continues, yet income remains same - time to go.
Health is a bit all over the place. Had bells palsy, an allergic reaction, torn ligament, broken bone, severe migraine that was originally diagnosed as meningitis, weight fluctuations and insomnia. Quite a ride that resulted in staff of the hospital emergency department getting to know me quite well.
Several of my Brisbane friends have also made Melbourne their home now. I had to update my "People I Talk About" page pretty drastically. There are only a few people left in Brisbane that I am still in contact with. Some are also looking to do the move down here soon. It is quite amazing that nearly the entire group that became friends in Brisbane would all choose to move to the same city. This year marks the 10th year I have lived in Melbourne for. Best decision I ever made.
I have found new hobby into creating nail art. I only do them for myself at the moment, but getting interest in perhaps selling my designs. I paint on full false nail sets that you glue on. I've done bees, penguins, ladybugs and bunnies. I also do influences, like seasons, night and holidays. Then there are the random designs. I was never good at art, but this comes easy for me and I enjoy it. It is a bit of a buzz getting complimented on them and the look of shock when they ask where I got them from and I say that I hand paint them all myself.
On to the biggest and longest update. There has been one person who has been quite instrumental these past years - The Crush. So much has happened in that relationship. We left off with him having a girlfriend that was on rocky ground and us two being best friends, with me wishing it was more. Firstly, I think he stayed with the girlfriend for another year after that for reasons totally unknown to me. She got worse and was impossible to be around, as she became a very cruel and nasty person. The Crush and I remained friends, but I didn't see him much with her. She tried very hard to stop him from seeing me at all, but he refused. He finally broke it off and moved into a unit by himself.
After that our friendship strengthened greatly and eventually the lines between friendship and more got very blurred. I went as his companion to work dinners, accompanied him to his family's wedding in New Zealand and we have gone on several holidays together. Not long before the wedding, the drinking started. At first it wasn't too bad but then he'd drink too much and forget large chunks of the night. Of course one of these forgotten evenings was the night he finally tells me what I have wanted to hear all this time. It was obvious he had no idea what had occurred the night before, so I let it go. This happened several times in where I would leave before it went any further to avoid having to go through the pain again.
Slowly the drinking got worse and his manner changed. When drunk, he became argumentative, angry and had violent tendencies. The violence was never directed at me, but he would pick fights with others over insignificant things that I would have to defuse. Or the other version was him being a disrespectful nuisance and a frustrating embarrassment to be around. I gradually reduced the time I was spending with him and avoided being around him when there was alcohol around. There were many heated discussions. I wrote him a letter one day and confessed everything - my feelings, the forgotten nights, the tragedy of the man he has become and what little future is left for us if things don't change.
The thing that has made all this so very hard is that he genuinely sees me as his dearest friend and I mean the world to him. He goes through stages where he doesn't drink, or only very little and those are the moments I see the man I fell for in the first place. Sadly those days are becoming rare. He tries to change, and does for a while, but then falls back into old habits and the cycle starts again.
This has been now a 7 year long emotional roller coaster of a relationship that has tested every fibre part of my being. It is a struggle that is still present today.
I think having this outlet again might be a good thing. I may or may not follow through and post often, but I like knowing this option is here.
For those still on here, drop a line and say hi.
The most upsetting change is I no longer have The Black Bitch (car). Poor thing spent more time being repaired than on the road and had to go. I haven't managed to get a replacement for the girl, so have been the victim of a tortured existence on public transport since. I hire a car a few times a year to go on road trip adventures and keep some semblance of sanity.
I am still working at the same movie place. After being denied a well overdue pay rise recently, I am going to stay until I qualify for long service leave, which is due early next year, then start looking elsewhere. Inflation continues, yet income remains same - time to go.
Health is a bit all over the place. Had bells palsy, an allergic reaction, torn ligament, broken bone, severe migraine that was originally diagnosed as meningitis, weight fluctuations and insomnia. Quite a ride that resulted in staff of the hospital emergency department getting to know me quite well.
Several of my Brisbane friends have also made Melbourne their home now. I had to update my "People I Talk About" page pretty drastically. There are only a few people left in Brisbane that I am still in contact with. Some are also looking to do the move down here soon. It is quite amazing that nearly the entire group that became friends in Brisbane would all choose to move to the same city. This year marks the 10th year I have lived in Melbourne for. Best decision I ever made.
I have found new hobby into creating nail art. I only do them for myself at the moment, but getting interest in perhaps selling my designs. I paint on full false nail sets that you glue on. I've done bees, penguins, ladybugs and bunnies. I also do influences, like seasons, night and holidays. Then there are the random designs. I was never good at art, but this comes easy for me and I enjoy it. It is a bit of a buzz getting complimented on them and the look of shock when they ask where I got them from and I say that I hand paint them all myself.
On to the biggest and longest update. There has been one person who has been quite instrumental these past years - The Crush. So much has happened in that relationship. We left off with him having a girlfriend that was on rocky ground and us two being best friends, with me wishing it was more. Firstly, I think he stayed with the girlfriend for another year after that for reasons totally unknown to me. She got worse and was impossible to be around, as she became a very cruel and nasty person. The Crush and I remained friends, but I didn't see him much with her. She tried very hard to stop him from seeing me at all, but he refused. He finally broke it off and moved into a unit by himself.
After that our friendship strengthened greatly and eventually the lines between friendship and more got very blurred. I went as his companion to work dinners, accompanied him to his family's wedding in New Zealand and we have gone on several holidays together. Not long before the wedding, the drinking started. At first it wasn't too bad but then he'd drink too much and forget large chunks of the night. Of course one of these forgotten evenings was the night he finally tells me what I have wanted to hear all this time. It was obvious he had no idea what had occurred the night before, so I let it go. This happened several times in where I would leave before it went any further to avoid having to go through the pain again.
Slowly the drinking got worse and his manner changed. When drunk, he became argumentative, angry and had violent tendencies. The violence was never directed at me, but he would pick fights with others over insignificant things that I would have to defuse. Or the other version was him being a disrespectful nuisance and a frustrating embarrassment to be around. I gradually reduced the time I was spending with him and avoided being around him when there was alcohol around. There were many heated discussions. I wrote him a letter one day and confessed everything - my feelings, the forgotten nights, the tragedy of the man he has become and what little future is left for us if things don't change.
The thing that has made all this so very hard is that he genuinely sees me as his dearest friend and I mean the world to him. He goes through stages where he doesn't drink, or only very little and those are the moments I see the man I fell for in the first place. Sadly those days are becoming rare. He tries to change, and does for a while, but then falls back into old habits and the cycle starts again.
This has been now a 7 year long emotional roller coaster of a relationship that has tested every fibre part of my being. It is a struggle that is still present today.
I think having this outlet again might be a good thing. I may or may not follow through and post often, but I like knowing this option is here.
For those still on here, drop a line and say hi.